more than just alcohol
 

Last night was horrible, and I said I wanted to seperate and he said all kinds of things to me...and admittedly he got to me so I said some not so nice things back. This morning he called me professing his undying love for me and how he can change. Here's the thing......he went from this conversation about change and all he wants to do.......to yelling at me 45 minutes later about not having some of my priorities right.......then after 20 or so minutes of that went back to how he would do anything for me and the kids.....he loves us...etc??? Maybe it is more than just the alchol that is a problem.........? His behavior is increasingly so bizarre that I am beginning to wonder if there is more?

That all sounds terribly exhausting for you M.

Sounds to me like he's grabbing at anything to get you to acquiesce. I'LL Change.... I WILL... (Is that what she wants to hear~he asks himself) You B*^%, how could you do this to ME. Quack, Quack, Quack. But I digress.

I'll tell you a secret....I've never met anyone, myself included that had a substance abuse problem and had ALL their ducks lined up. It's hard work to get the real problem fixed. It normally means therapy. Substance abusers didn't become addicts because they liked to party. They became addicts because they want to numb out the REAL problems. Alcohol and drugs is a symptom of the underlying issues.

Yeah mentallyexh this sounds exhausting--

Don't even waste time trying to figure out whether it is the alcohol or is an underlying personality issue- just focus on yourself- and what you want out of your life and your relationships.

Behavior tells you everything you need to know about another person- whether they are on the sauce or off, is their behavior acceptable?

peace
b