now what?
 

so, we broke up, no contact for the week. our mutual friend, gary, from school just phoned me to tell me that he is so drunk he can barely speak and that he called the gary yesterday. gary was in the middle of the ocean and called him back today and my ex was slurring and mumbling and bombed out of his mind.

gary is asking me what to do. i told him i am not involved anymore, gave gary directions to his place, and told him if he wanted the address i would give it to him, but that it would entail my driving by my ex' place. gary didn;t ask that, so....i explained to gary that, although i am glad that nathan is reaching out, gary cannot force him to a hospital, and that nathan knows he cannot lose his job, so he may just go into survival mode and sleep it off all day to make it to work at some point tomorrow in some shakey condition.

1. did i do the right thing by totally disengaging? am i to help in any way or just let it go?
2. why was i jealous when gary mentioned that nathan's car is at some girl's place from the sober living house, even when i know that i cannot and do not want to be with him?
3. he is drinking at least a bottle of vodka a day. is he going to die soon?
4. if an alcoholic is in the middle of his self destruction, is calling an ambulance the way to go in the first place if he is not or cannot even really ask for help?


ok, a lot of questions. ugh. ugh ugh ugh.

-l

1. did i do the right thing by totally disengaging? am i to help in any way or just let it go? You did the right thing. Let it go.

2. why was i jealous when gary mentioned that nathan's car is at some girl's place from the sober living house, even when i know that i cannot and do not want to be with him? Because you haven't yet fully detached. It takes time, but you are making good progress.

3. he is drinking at least a bottle of vodka a day. is he going to die soon? That's up to him.

4. if an alcoholic is in the middle of his self destruction, is calling an ambulance the way to go in the first place if he is not or cannot even really ask for help? If he is a danger to himself or others, yes.

hotamale-

i'm no expert on drinking.

from what i've seen, at least with my xABF, it appears that he can drink a bottle of vodka for many years and not die. his legs are the first to go and then he can't see very well anymore. once he bled for 10 days from his nose.

i am learning that when people drink a bottle of vodka a day, they can't just come off it without experiencing quite serious withdrawal symptoms, DT (delirium tremors) and even seizures.

if he comes off alcohol, it would be good that he do so under medical supervision so that he can be monitored.

since you asked, i think you did the right thing not getting involved.