How do you actually work the program?
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Burnsville, MN
Posts: 966
I'll look forward to responses.
I attend AlAnon and NarAnon weekly. I actively take part in discussions and occasionally sign up to talk about a step or topic at one of the meetings. I have a bunch of literature from those and other 12 step programs that I read from at different times. That's about it for me, so again, I'll look forward to see what helps others.
I attend AlAnon and NarAnon weekly. I actively take part in discussions and occasionally sign up to talk about a step or topic at one of the meetings. I have a bunch of literature from those and other 12 step programs that I read from at different times. That's about it for me, so again, I'll look forward to see what helps others.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
I attend meetings, including business meetings when I can; and I will lead a meeting from time to time-especially if the designated person needs someone to fill in. I read the literature, plus share with others before and after meetings. I like going to conferences too. I make a point to listen and learn from others who are new as well as those who have been members for longer periods of time.
Having a close spiritual bond with my HP and that is a huge part of how I work my own program of recovery in Al-Anon. Each day, I take time to reflect: on how I'm choosing to live, what I can and can't change etc... and on being grateful for the journey.
Having a close spiritual bond with my HP and that is a huge part of how I work my own program of recovery in Al-Anon. Each day, I take time to reflect: on how I'm choosing to live, what I can and can't change etc... and on being grateful for the journey.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Scranton, PA
Posts: 31
I am in recovery for 56 days and what works for me is attending AA meetings, outpatient therapy, getting numbers to stay in touch with others from the AA rooms, getting a sponsor to work with me through the 12 steps, finding my higher power as I understand him, praying even if it is the serenity prayer all day long, writing in a journal everynight or when I am feeling down just write your thought's down it help's u stay out of your head............
Hope I was able to help!!!!
Hope I was able to help!!!!
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
1 by trying suggestions you may have not tried before: recommended books, aa/al anon meetings live or online, reading/posting in SR, 1 to 1 therapy, reaching out to family and friends, exploring the arts, alternative therapies, journaling
2 by trying all the things mentioned above, and listen to your heart and choose what works for you and what does not
3 by developing a relationship with HP as you understand it
4 by being honest, and more honest with yourself...
2 by trying all the things mentioned above, and listen to your heart and choose what works for you and what does not
3 by developing a relationship with HP as you understand it
4 by being honest, and more honest with yourself...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
When I am in crisis or not - I remind myself of the steps...there is always a step to work to answer any problem I have.
When I am trying to control things that are not my own I remember step one- I am powerless....powerless over things outside myself, other people, etc.
When I am grinding myself down to a nub with trying to figure things out or make a decision or beating myself up over mistakes, I remember step 12 and I reach out to help someone in need or do volunteer work and get the obsession off myself.
When I start cataloging my resentments and see oh so clearly (ha!) the mistakes of others I remember step 4 and that I have a lot of nerve taking anyone else's moral inventory, when I should be kept quite busy with my own!!! I remember step 10 and to promptly admit when I am wrong.
I also am helped greatly by the slogans - just repeating these soothes my racing mind and can actually (maybe I've trained my brain at this point!) turn my head around pretty quickly.
So if I am focused on another's choices I say to myself
Live and Let Live
If I am falling for someone's alcoholic quacking and start thinking there is something I can do to "help" I can say
I didn't cause it
I can't control it
I can't cure it
If I am awfulizing the future
One Day at a Time
If I think I need to change my entire life right this very instant or I am going to explode:
Easy does it.
This may seem simplistic or silly just reading them out...but it's been almost 20yrs since I discovered AlAnon and although I choose to go to meetings very rarely nowadays this is how the "program" has sunk into me and helps me to this day.
I also have done 3 long sessions of therapy in my life - the last was CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) and that taught me some really amazing stuff about my thinking and how my thoughts influence my perceptions of reality etc. I've become a much more rational thinker thanks to CBT. All that questioning and exploring in therapy over the years helped me to change A LOT!!
curious to read others replies....
peace
b
When I am trying to control things that are not my own I remember step one- I am powerless....powerless over things outside myself, other people, etc.
When I am grinding myself down to a nub with trying to figure things out or make a decision or beating myself up over mistakes, I remember step 12 and I reach out to help someone in need or do volunteer work and get the obsession off myself.
When I start cataloging my resentments and see oh so clearly (ha!) the mistakes of others I remember step 4 and that I have a lot of nerve taking anyone else's moral inventory, when I should be kept quite busy with my own!!! I remember step 10 and to promptly admit when I am wrong.
I also am helped greatly by the slogans - just repeating these soothes my racing mind and can actually (maybe I've trained my brain at this point!) turn my head around pretty quickly.
So if I am focused on another's choices I say to myself
Live and Let Live
If I am falling for someone's alcoholic quacking and start thinking there is something I can do to "help" I can say
I didn't cause it
I can't control it
I can't cure it
If I am awfulizing the future
One Day at a Time
If I think I need to change my entire life right this very instant or I am going to explode:
Easy does it.
This may seem simplistic or silly just reading them out...but it's been almost 20yrs since I discovered AlAnon and although I choose to go to meetings very rarely nowadays this is how the "program" has sunk into me and helps me to this day.
I also have done 3 long sessions of therapy in my life - the last was CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) and that taught me some really amazing stuff about my thinking and how my thoughts influence my perceptions of reality etc. I've become a much more rational thinker thanks to CBT. All that questioning and exploring in therapy over the years helped me to change A LOT!!
curious to read others replies....
peace
b
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
Posts: 2,144
Originally Posted by Marigolds 
I am curious - what do you literally do to "work the program"?
Is this question for you or someone else?
Can you give us a little bit more information?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 36
Thanks for all the responses. I have been in al-anon for a couple of months right now. I really struggle with powerlessness, it feels like I have awoken from a fog - I am so angry with my husband right now. I don't feel ready to ask for a sponsor in real life yet.
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