naive

thanks bernadette...

i'll give the meeting a try...

i've been reviewing the 12 steps today. i think i will try to work them without an alanon group. i am reminding myself that xABF is in the hands of god and find peace when i can remember that.

Pelican

You can do the first 4 steps with your SR family and friends:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tep-study.html

It's one of the stickies at the top of this forum.

naive

thanks for the link pelican. reading now...

ItsmeAlice

Naive -
You've given him chance after chance and he is choosing the hard road to his death from chronic alcohol abuse and you have a front row seat.

Truth be told you are also being given chance after chance by your HP and yet you are choosing the hard road to death from an abusive alcoholic and we are in the front row.

The frustration you feel in being given excuses and quacking so that he can continue his path to destruction is the same frustration we feel when you excuse his behavior or do your own quacking in his defense none of which slows your own path to destruction.

I am grateful you met with him without incident. I am grateful you are still strong and are still learning to build defenses again the beguiling disease of alcoholism. I am grateful you are still here and writing about making changes for your health and happiness. I am grateful for your friendship.

I will be thinking of you. Stay strong. Stay no contact. Stay with us.

said with love,
Alice

cmc

Hello naive,
I haven't responded to any of your posts but have been reading. I realize that you have heard this twice already- but it was the 'one' thing that you wrote that stood out to me.
In my experience I've found that if I find the need to keep repeating myself- it's usually because I'm trying somehow to force a solution...by giving them just one more...and then just one more chance to do what would fulful my hopes and dreams and make the conflict magically disappear. As if it would disappear _if_ the other person actually did for a time bend to my will.

What works for me is to just say what I mean one time, mean what I say- and don't say it mean.

Any further comments or discussions just weaken what has already been said.

btw...There are online Al-Anon meetings.

DesertEyes

Ok folks, you're starting to repeat the same suggestions over and over again. How about we all go get some rest and start some fresh new threads tomorrow.

Mike
Moderator, SR

Daisy09

Hi Niave,

If your therapist thinks the anti-depressant might be good for you, maybe you should give them a try. My husband was on them for a short while (about 4 months) eight years ago, and they allowed him to sort himself out of the situation he was in at that time. They might give you more clarity of mind with which to assess your situation.

Wishing you well,
Daisy

tallulah

I'm just going to say one thing..

I wish I had the opportunity to get away from my ex without the scars, the pain, the three months spent in and out of the Hospital trying to get some of my mobility back, the disability, the lost earnings, the lost sleep, the loss. I wish I had the opportunities you have been given.

I can't watch you squander them anymore.

Good luck.

Jadmack25

((i know you all think i'm not moving fast enough to save myself but it's not the easiest trip in the world to watch someone self-destruct and standby and do nothing.))

Oh yes we do know what a hard, miserable and dangerous trip you are on. That is exactly why so many are giving you the ideas they have posted to you.

Been there, done that and had it all done to us, in one form or another. Frankly it goes further than HARD, it becomes impossible.

I wish you all the best.