How much detail of past traumas do you share with your significant others?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
There is nothing wrong with you, ((( takingcharge )))
You are still healing. Women who have just had a child aren't exactly known for their libido either. You've just given birth to something much bigger: a strong, independent spirit.
I myself might be a little apprehensive too sometimes - this is a man who has put a great deal of emotional pressure on you in a very short time (wants to be with you forever, etc.) Sex is part of all of that, and I'd be more concerned if you WEREN'T cautious about the role it plays in your relationship, especially in light of his revelation about his marriage.
Slow and easy, and stop telling your body that it's feeling the wrong things. Sometimes our bodies know what our minds won't catch on to for weeks.
Hugs,
gl
You are still healing. Women who have just had a child aren't exactly known for their libido either. You've just given birth to something much bigger: a strong, independent spirit.
I myself might be a little apprehensive too sometimes - this is a man who has put a great deal of emotional pressure on you in a very short time (wants to be with you forever, etc.) Sex is part of all of that, and I'd be more concerned if you WEREN'T cautious about the role it plays in your relationship, especially in light of his revelation about his marriage.
Slow and easy, and stop telling your body that it's feeling the wrong things. Sometimes our bodies know what our minds won't catch on to for weeks.
Hugs,
gl
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
OK I just read all the posts and realize my own posts are as convoluted as my thoughts and feelings...
Thank you all for your great thoughts and support...
This is the action plan:
- Call therapist to address this, and only this issue.
- Take time for myself to reflect on what I need, soul search about this last trigger
- Agree to see the guy out, not in my apartment for now and protect myself in this way
- When the time comes for a talk, I will state my boundary once again -mention it had already been discussed and I see he ignored it - and make him understand there is no more "insisting" - that may seem playful for him but is really damaging to me.
And I am willing to put the whole relation on hold/terminate it as feeling vulnerable in my own bed is something I am not willing to feel anymore, with or without him. It IS a deal breaker.
Thanks!!!!!!! I have never done this and it feels GREAT
not to care if he will agree or not or leave or not.
Perhaps I am putting him on a very bad light and have not mentioned other parts of the relation. My gut feeling states there is a chance we can find common ground. Hopefully, but my happiness won't depend on it...
Thank you all for your great thoughts and support...
This is the action plan:
- Call therapist to address this, and only this issue.
- Take time for myself to reflect on what I need, soul search about this last trigger
- Agree to see the guy out, not in my apartment for now and protect myself in this way
- When the time comes for a talk, I will state my boundary once again -mention it had already been discussed and I see he ignored it - and make him understand there is no more "insisting" - that may seem playful for him but is really damaging to me.
And I am willing to put the whole relation on hold/terminate it as feeling vulnerable in my own bed is something I am not willing to feel anymore, with or without him. It IS a deal breaker.
Thanks!!!!!!! I have never done this and it feels GREAT
not to care if he will agree or not or leave or not.Perhaps I am putting him on a very bad light and have not mentioned other parts of the relation. My gut feeling states there is a chance we can find common ground. Hopefully, but my happiness won't depend on it...
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