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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: canada
Posts: 166
Remember Me?
Hi everyone, it’s been a long time since I have posted but I have been checking in from time to time. I wanted to let you all know how I am doing. A year ago I told my EXAH that I would be leaving him. Our relationship over a 20 year period included periods of being in and out of rehab, dry drunk behavior and all the subsequent fallout. We were both very unhealthy people. There is no need to elaborate on his behavior, you have all been exposed to similar people and this post is a positive one – about me.
When I left I was truly devastated, I have never felt so much physical gut wrenching throw yourself on the floor and assume the fetal position type of pain. I was totally broken and shattered. In the past I never really worked on MY issues, it was always easier to blame the A – just put a band aid on it and worse ignored and stuffed the feelings down. I found out that I was an addict, addicted to him, the drama, the control that I thought I had.
I now really felt pain for the first time. I was alone, with me! I didn’t like what I saw but I vowed to change. I posted and read a lot here on SR, went to counseling 3-4 times a week, went to Al-Anon and changed my whole life. The universe opened up and welcomed me. I lost weight, I quit smoking, I started snowshoeing, hiking and now mountain biking, I go to yoga 3 times a week, practice daily meditation.
My world has become such a beautiful place. Earlier this week I emailed my EXAH for the first time in months and told him that I was filing for divorce and that I harbor no ill feelings towards him. I wished him well.
You know what? I really meant it.
Every time I read posts on here about the pain, the grieving, the process, my journey comes back to me. There is light and hope after being involved with a addict. Work your program ‘cause you’re worth it.
Namasté – K.
When I left I was truly devastated, I have never felt so much physical gut wrenching throw yourself on the floor and assume the fetal position type of pain. I was totally broken and shattered. In the past I never really worked on MY issues, it was always easier to blame the A – just put a band aid on it and worse ignored and stuffed the feelings down. I found out that I was an addict, addicted to him, the drama, the control that I thought I had.
I now really felt pain for the first time. I was alone, with me! I didn’t like what I saw but I vowed to change. I posted and read a lot here on SR, went to counseling 3-4 times a week, went to Al-Anon and changed my whole life. The universe opened up and welcomed me. I lost weight, I quit smoking, I started snowshoeing, hiking and now mountain biking, I go to yoga 3 times a week, practice daily meditation.
My world has become such a beautiful place. Earlier this week I emailed my EXAH for the first time in months and told him that I was filing for divorce and that I harbor no ill feelings towards him. I wished him well.
You know what? I really meant it.
Every time I read posts on here about the pain, the grieving, the process, my journey comes back to me. There is light and hope after being involved with a addict. Work your program ‘cause you’re worth it.
Namasté – K.
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 646
Originally Posted by kingston 
When I left I was truly devastated, I have never felt so much physical gut wrenching throw yourself on the floor and assume the fetal position type of pain. I was totally broken and shattered. In the past I never really worked on MY issues, it was always easier to blame the A – just put a band aid on it and worse ignored and stuffed the feelings down. I found out that I was an addict, addicted to him, the drama, the control that I thought I had.
I now really felt pain for the first time. I was alone, with me! I didn’t like what I saw but I vowed to change.
I now really felt pain for the first time. I was alone, with me! I didn’t like what I saw but I vowed to change.
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