nowwhat

No experience with DV, but I understand the grief you feel about the island.

My X and I took a lot of romantic trips together. In my mind, they were very special and symbolized adventure and togetherness. Looking back, though, all they really were was a new venue for him. We did the exact same things at each of them, there was an excessive amount of alcohol involved (for both of us), and I always ended up feeling slightly disappointed afterward. I was only an accessory for his drinking and delusional, hyper-romantic behavior.

Anyhew. I am glad you took steps to protect yourself and that you continue to look at the reality of your situation and relationship.

naive

hi everyone-

i will have more time to respond to all these great comments later today but i just want to say quickly that i had previously asked my girlfriend to not discuss me with the OW. so, that is why she would not have mentioned the violence to her...

cheers everyone..

naive

naive

for me, in this whole crummy situation, the only thing that i feel to protect is my soul. as all these various situations occur, i feel an angel in one ear and the devil in the other and i feel like i'm in the middle of a great battle with myself.

i just keep remembering to turn it over to god and to try not to become like them. when the anger/hurt/restentment/frustration come into me there is such a pull to strike back, to defend myself, to do something that will hurt or inconvenience xABF. i just keep praying to god to lead me through the valley of temptation and give it a deaf ear.

i remind myself that the best way to avoid conflict is to anticipate the action of the "enemy" and avoid the conflict altogether through this foreward vision.

i'm really in the thick of it right now, as xABF has been tracking me down no matter where i am in this town.

if the other woman does not receive my message, there is nothing that i can do about that. my duty to her, in my heart, is finished and i feel peaceful about that.

tallulah, i don't know why the restraining order was removed. the court date is in november because this is such a small place, we don't actually have our own sheriff and one travels here to service the islands only sometimes. perhaps that is the reason.

codienomore, i am glad that my sorry story is helping you. i took comfort in that, at least perhaps some good can come out of this mess.

i cannot tell you all how many times various things are happening and i ask myself "what would the SR family say now?" and i take a minute to imagine what your counsel would be and act on that.

i'm going to start a new thread with this weekends challenges...

i feel i would have lost my way if it weren't for all of you here and i remain grateful. i'm not out of the woods yet, but i can see the clearing in the distance and i'm setting my sights on that distant shore.

naive