babsywabsy

AH came home from trip to Seattle, got out of car and could barely walk. Asked me to call 911. Ambulance came. In ER we were informed that he has Acute Pancreatitis (sp?).

Looks like 3 or 4 days in the hospital and they have him on "detox protocol" watching for signs of DTs, monitoring blood pressure, giving meds, etc. AH is SCARED! I was trying so hard not to be super codependent...

Call me cold, but I am glad that HP gave him the gift of being able to look at the destruction that is being done to his body.

I am back home w/my kids. I will go again in the morning. Not sure how long he will stay.

Really want to stay on the right path here (my own) and not get sucked into the drama, but also want to support his physical (and hopefully spiritual) recovery.

must sleep...

prodigal

I've been in the hospital with my AH five times. Each time, I hoped and prayed it would be the wake-up call he needed to realize the seriousness of his disease. Sadly, it was not.

All I can do is tell you what I was able to do for myself. I had to completely let him go and put him in God's hands. Call it your Higher Power, God, whatever ... But I had to quit pinning my hopes on the latest medical disaster getting him to understand his situation.

Today, he is gulping vitamins, back to making homemade bread for the sandwiches he takes to lunch, and he is back in the gym. I cannot tell you how many times I have watched this exact same remedy re-enacted. He is convinced this will get the drinking, the emotional issues, the mess he calls his life, under his control.

It will not.

I hope your husband sees what is happening to him and seeks sobriety. However, should he decide to continue drinking or attempt to control his drinking, you are going to need to begin a program of your own. Be it Al-Anon, counseling, or a combination of the two, PLEASE begin walking down that road for your sake and the sake of your children.

Take time to read the stickies at the top of our forum. Educate yourself on the disease of alcoholism and codependency. Suggestion: Codependent No More, by Melodie Beattie, is considered by many to be the best book on codependent behavior. Get a copy and read it. Also the Getting Them Sober series by Toby Rice Drews is excellent.

I wish you and your husband the best. Please keep posting. We are here to support you.

Seren

(((babs))) I'm sorry to hear about your AHs scare (that is your scare, too). I hope, hope, hope that this will give him the wake up call he needs....but be prepared for the fact that it might NOT.....

Please take good care of yourself and your children. Hugs and best wishes!! HG

itiswhatitis...

hi babs - this is so strange - in my alanon meeting last night a woman shared that her husband just returned from a business trip - went to the er - pancreatitis - wow - but it's here in teh midwest not cali and he is on a ventilator - she shared that if she hadn't had a year of alanon she didn't know where she'd be - and when the chaplain came in she shared with him that she had been attending alanon for the past year - i guess he shared that he could tell - she handled things so calmly and he knew...

i hope things work out - is alcoholism somehow related to your pancreas???

godspeed,
s

GiveLove

My sister had several stays in the hospital for pancreatitis and liver & kidney failure. Each time we thought "Hey, great, a wake-up call from HP." And each time she just hit the snooze button after a day or a week. Sad, but her choice. Take care of YOU babsy, no matter what.

Freedom1990

Same for me. When my AD overdosed in front of her kids, and was unresponsive when the ambulance got there, I thought surely that was her bottom. She lost custody of the kids.

She was out of the psych ward within 48 hours and looking for a ride back home.

Nothing has changed with her, nothing.

Barbara52

xAH now has a gorwth that is apparently visible to anyone who looks at him that is likely to be related to his liver. Yet he refuses to see a doctor and has not stopped drinking.

Who knows what his personal bottom is going to be.

No one can tell when or if an A reaches bottom. Logic does not apply.

Still Waters

My AH had most of his pancreas removed after many bouts with pancreatitis. He has yet (that I'm aware of) to admit that it was caused by his drinking.

TakingCharge999

Hi babsy,

I think its completely natural to expect a health scare to "make him wake up", because that is how the ones without the disease called alcoholism behave - they (us) consider what happened and take note of the doc. recommendations, take care in the future... in short, take responsibility for the damage done to our bodies, caused by any factor...

Unfortunately for alcoholism to be kept alive there has to be DENIAL, and just that word, DENIAL, has caused, is causing and will continue to cause illnesses and deaths.

I am sorry you are going through this, however you can take steps to protect yourself and well being regardless of what happens to your loved one, I really hope you do, as witnessing the effects of alcoholism needs all the "support artillery" available to you.

((babsy))

queenteree

My AH almost died last July from kidney failure, liver failure and also had some heart muscle damage. It was the big wake up call for him. Went immediately from the hospital to a 21 day rehab, even the counselors said he "surrendered" and they thought he'd finally hit his bottom. NOT!!!! After many health issues and rehabs, still drinking even worse than ever. Don't get your hopes up, and don't get sucked into the drama like I was.

babsywabsy

AH detoxing as we speak, so frightening to watch. He is eager to get into a treatment program and would like to go straight from hospital to the treatment center. I'm happy to see he is open to recovering, but I'm not getting my hopes up. I have an alanon meeting tomorrow afternoon and will be attending on both Sat and Sun when he gets into the treatment facility (they have a program there). I really want to stay as healthy as possible here and take care of myself and children. This has been a very intense and unpleasant experience and I'd like to think I've learned something....

GiveLove

Excellent. Please try to keep the focus on you and your kids - his decisions are HIS decisions. But I know how hard it is, so sending you hugs this morning

TakingCharge999

((waiting in line to hug you after GL is done))

Of course everything is way easier said than done, I think you are very strong and please use all you've got, therapy, AA/Alanon, literature on the Internet, religion/spiritual reading, Melody Beatty, close friends and family, SR... please do everything you can imagine to support you at this difficult time.

Problems seem 10 times worse than they are when we keep them inside...

((more hugs))