kaztat

I was with my boyfriend for 2 years he is an alcoholic, he went to counselling and stopped drinking for a while but started again after Christmas and basically hasn't stopped. We argued so much but did have good times that got less and less. I always hoped that he would see sense, see what a good life he could have with me and my son. Anyway he finished with me and I'm distraught. I think i might be a bit co-dependant but I miss him so much. I know I'm better off without him but I feel so lonely. I went through so much, trying to help him and feel so disappointed that he has done this to me. There'll be loads of you reading this who have been through the same thing and I know it will get better. I can't tell my friends or family they all think we spilt up months ago and never thought he was anywhere near good enough for me. I wanted to prove them all wrong but I guess they were right.

GiveLove

kaztat,

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Breakups are the worst.

And it doesn't matter who was right or who was wrong, it still hurts. It's probably true to say that you would have suffered a lot more pain if you'd stayed together, and that this is good for your life.....but I know that doesn't help when the pain's fo fresh.

Keep reaching out, try to keep yourself involved in things and build your life back up. It will get better

Tryingtobefree

Welcome Kaztat! I'm sorry for what brings you here. There are tons of great stickies at the top which really helped me and more people will be along who are far wiser than me.

I've recently (2 weeks ago) left my abf of 3 years. It was the most difficult decision I've had to make.

Please take this time to focus on yourself. You may not realize it at the moment - but you have been given a gift. Truly. As I'm sure you know life with an A is a terrible roller coaster. Take this time to really think about what you want from life for yourself and for your child.

Even though it is very painful right now this really is an opportunity for a better life.

I promise you - it will get better!

FunnyOne

Well, I was dumped by my recovering AH after 28 years, and I will tell you that I feel as though I have wasted the majority of my life. You might not feel this now, but I really wish I had gotten out when I realized I was in love with the man I thought he could be, not the man I was with. would have saved myself 25 years of heartache!

Hang in there, you really are better off....but that doesn't remove the pain does it?

steve11694

Initially I was deeply hurt by my aw dumping me to be with boozers. As I learned more about alcoholism and broke through my own denial about her really being an addict I realized she had done me a favor; to have continued to live with the person alcohol was possessing would have been far worse.

In a Tailspin

Oh Kaz..........I thought the same thing after my divorce. My words were "I think I may have some 'codependent tendencies'". Then I got and read a GREAT book called Codependent No More by Melody Beatty. There's a list in there of typical codie behaviors. I read the whole book with a highlighter to highlight areas that applied/spoke to me. Once I realized I was turning the whole freaking book pink...........I admitted I don't just have "codependent tendencies" - - I'm a freakin' codie!! It was liberating for me to realize that now that I knew what was "broken" in me, it meant I could get to work fixing it. Now, I'm reading Women Who Love too Much. I think the author knows me!! And through alanon and some counseling, I'm learning how to "fix" me. Next time, I will be armed with the sharpest tool in the shed..........KNOWLEDGE!!

Good luck to you!

Startingover2

Go read my posts from the past few weeks. I understand your thoughts on the lightbulb going off in their heads realizing what a tragic mistake they have made...then when it doesn't happen its very deflating. I ask myself the same question every day.

We need to keep telling ourselves they did, indeed, do us a favor. I haven't 100% convinced myself of that yet as I do feel down alot, but hope someday it will happen.

(((HUGS)))