Old 08-22-2003, 11:42 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Maryland
Posts: 43

How'd I miss this thread?

I'm Wench. I couldn't remember my old logon so I went with a new one and I couldn't use the same email address (it wouldn't let me) so I used another, that is jointly used by myself and the AH. (but neither of us really use it, so I didn't give it much thought that it would bust me out.)

I didn't use this forum as a tool in an argument. There was actually no argument that night. He stormed into the kitchen, said something along the lines of "oh so you're on forum trashing me, if you hate me so much we should just seperate, and you're the reason I drink". I simply responded, "I don't hate you, I hate the drunk you." Then went to bed.

Maybe it's not such a bad thing. He did post here
Guess that's a step. He's not drank since then. I'm not even counting on him not drinking anymore, that would make me delusional. :p

I don't intend on sneaking peaks at anything he posts (unless it's within the al-anon forum). I figure he needs his space to "vent" just like I do.

He's a good man. I wouldn't still be with him if he wasn't. It's just tough sometimes as you all know.
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Old 08-22-2003, 11:57 PM
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smoke gets in my eyes's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: That's what I'd like to know.
Posts: 2,416
Hi JustFedUp
the member formerly known as Wench.

I'm glad to know that's you. I was afraid maybe you felt like your safe place got invaded and you had run for the hills. If it's any comfort, I used to get an earful from Dino about this forum. WR seemed to have calmed down pretty quickly.

Welcome back? Welcome new you?

anyway.... hugs!
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Old 08-23-2003, 05:15 AM
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Nature Girl
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Hi JustFedUp

When I first began my program, my son was very disappointed to learn that it was not about HIM but about ME and what I needed to do to keep my life sane and healthy. Even I didn't fully comprehend what the word "codependent" meant.

I'm glad this worked out okay for you and hope that you will feel comfortable sharing here anytime you like.

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Old 08-23-2003, 12:32 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Maryland
Posts: 43
He's known I've posted on here before. I believe he's had a look through here before I started posting. I think what struck a nerve was how "harsh" my posts were about him. It's been a LONG time since we've had any knock down drag out fights. I simply don't engage him anymore (at least try as best as I can to avoid it). I've learned it's futile. I don't want to go b!tching and moaning about it to our friends, so you guys get to hear me rant and rave.
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Old 08-23-2003, 08:59 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Iowa USA
Posts: 102
I am so glad you are here! I was afraid you might not come back. Glad it has worked out, some kind of way.

I would be mortified if my AH read the stuff I write. He would be so hurt, I don't want to hurt him, I just want to help me.

I use a separate email account he never uses and I bookmark the AA site. He runs like heck from anything like that. Then I just click to message boards and come here. He knows I have an outlet and asks no questions, thank goodness.

Mine knows he has a problem, he is just unwilling to do anything about it. He is like "life sucks, I am going to die anyway, so I might as well have a beer." (or 125 beers, as fast as possible.)

Anyway, glad to see you here. I was worried.
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Old 08-25-2003, 05:11 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Maryland
Posts: 43
Yeah well, he doesn't skeer me. :p Actually, he's not as big a bully as he tries to be. AND he's STILL not drinking.
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Old 08-25-2003, 05:53 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Westchester Cty, New York
Posts: 7
Hello & Reply to Clarification

Hi! I'm very new to first note.

Living with the disease is very difficult. No one should take my inventory or invade my meeting. I beleive that we are all entitled to our space. I attend a local mtg hosted by AA which is an AA & Alan-On Q&A - it looks at things from both perspectives. Maybe if your other half is receptive sometime in the future it would be an option.

Best to you!!!
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Old 08-26-2003, 12:43 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Utah
Posts: 330
My ex- A found his way onto a forum I was on before. It was awful. He trashed me so bad on one of my threads, but it did not work. There is nothing like the fury of an Alanoner whos brother or sister is attacked in the "safe zone"! Needless to say, he did not return, at least not to the Alanon side. I would love nothing more than to see him show up in an NA forum though. Anyways, I was so mad when I saw WenchRetort invade, but I know how hard it is to read the destruction that we cause our loved ones is. I am glad he posted elsewhere as well. Hope things keep on in the right direction for the both of ya!

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