JoBloggs

I sought legal advice last week regarding my position. My lawyer told me that there is no court in this land that would remove my kids from me, that my AH would not be able to take any part of the value of our family home as I bought it with my money and it's in my name, that dads here are 100% responsible for school fees, health costs and that they also have to pay some maintenance costs for their children. Phew! He advised me to give my AH "reasonable notice" in writing to get out of our home so I emailed him a formal letter today asking him to leave by 31st May.

We had a joint counselling session a few days ago and he spent the whole hour denying that he has a problem, and justifying the many reasons why he must continue to drink as part of his networking and drumming up business with Very Important People in bars of an evening. The counsellor several times said that he thought AH was faced with making the choice between his family and his drinking. Sadly he seems to have made that choice...

Right now I am terrified , but I know I have to go through with this. I know that you know that I am just dying for him to miraculously come to his senses, give up drinking and work everything out (don't roll your eyes!!!!), but I am ready for whatever happens.

We still have some great family moments together, which makes it doubly hard. My AH hasn't been on a binge for a few days and last night we had a really nice dinner with the kids, telling stories to each other and laughing alot, but I know that the emotional rollercoaster is parked around the corner and I don't want to get back on it...

NYC_Chick

Just keep breathing! One foot in front of the other! You'll get there!

Hugs and prayers!!!

GiveLove

Hang in there, Jo. You are doing the right thing.

JoBloggs

Thanks for your encouragement. The sh1t is hitting the fan - AH is very angry and making lots of very angry phone calls to me and my friends saying that I am spoiling his reputation, giving him a bad name, etc., and that he is NOT an A! It's kinda scary, but I am getting lots of support from friends so I am staying firm. Bit shaky though!
:wtf2

MissFixit

Hi Jo,

Sounds like he is "quacking." Hugs to you.

Miss

naive

hi jo-

please be careful. a mad A can be dangerous. do you have a plan if you need to leave the house quickly?

hapapinoy

So can a woman.

But I agree, she does need a plan.

MissFixit

Hap,

Naive said a mad A. Not a mad male A.

Is this one of the things that you were writing about the other day?

Miss

hapapinoy

I must have misread (thought it said "a man A can be dangerous"). I apologize; my careless mistake.

JoBloggs

I don't have a great plan, but I have thought that I can just jump in the car with the kids and go to a friend who lives down my road who i have known for 35 years, since I was 8!

I did check my kids' British passports and found that one has expired and needs to be renewed so I will get on with that.

I don't expect him to do anything dangerous. It would be very out of character.

Went to my first Al Anon meeting - our inaugural one - yesterday evening - it was great! There were only five of us there, but it was just such a relief to be able to talk and listen to people with very similar experiences.