Kerrys

THe man I am with, whom I love with all my heart, is an alcoholic. He was in treatment 3 months before I met him, clean for 3 months, then fell off the wagon, and I never knew he was an alcoholic.

Now, two years later, here I am with bruises on my legs, crying uncontrollably, heart breaking, after hearing that I am a fat ass, he hates me, we're over (for the 50th time), that in two days he will find another woman, while he snores drunkelny in the other room.

Tomorrow I will hear that he is sorry (for the 5000th time), that he loves me to death, that he wants to be better, that he is sick of fighting, that he is sorry he hurt me, that he doesn't want to lose me. Aside from the unfairness of all of this, I am so sad. I don't want two broken hearts in this world that are happy and loving when he is sober.

I am so confused, hurt, and angry. And I don't know where to turn. Help me please!

Latte

The first issue is that he is abusing you. Please find a safe place to live. If there are no family or friends that you can stay with, find a womans shelter. His drinking is really the least of your worries right now.

I know there are stickies all over this site that have information on where to get help if you are in a situation where you are being abused.

Freedom1990

Agreed! There is never EVER reason to beat on a woman, drunk or not! Please please get yourself some help now.

I am a survivor of domestic abuse, and I was lucky to get out of it alive!

:ghug :ghug

tallulah

there is no justification for someone laying their hands on another person...

there is no justification for someone spitting venomous words at another person...

none.. none.. none..

alcohol or no alcohol this man is abusive towards you.. it is not right and it is not o.k.

there is nothing you can do to help this man.. if you detach you are wrong and if you display codie behaviours to keep safe you are doing yourself a wrong.. the only person who can stop this is him and it sounds like you know that no matter how many times he says he will stop he can't or won't..

please find somewhere safe and go there.. and my advice is do it without letting him know your plans.. the most vulnerable time is when you are leaving and when all this hurt and pain you are living is likely to be exposed..

:ghug

Bravery

The happiness you feel when he is sober is nothing to the pain you feel when he is drinking. You need to take care of yourself and the right thing to do is get out of the relationship for good. I know it's not that simple in your mind right now but it's the only way to move on for both your sake and his.

Barbara52

Please contact your local women's shelter and get some resources to protect yourself. THis violence is only likely to escalate!

flyfree76

Yes! Get out! There is NEVER a reason to take physical abuse! Please, you are worth more than that! Love yourself. Leave, get help.

gns

Please take care of yourself and be safe!

shoregirl

Get Out of this relationship as quickly as possible. You are much better off on your own if need be. If you need help with logistics/details - I am sure a local woman's shelter or even this forum can help. The bruises on your legs will only get worse.