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My first time here This will be my first experience with something like al-anon. I have been involved with 12 step programs for 7 years now learning how to live and recover from my own addictions. With 7 years of sober living I feel its time I find support somewhere else...the past few years have been pretty rough and have gotten to a pretty hopeless point now. Though I have sought help for my addictions and have been living sober. I am a child of an alcoholic parent with whom I cannot deal with anymore without jeopardizing my own sanity. His continued alcoholism affected my life negatively throughout my entire life. I don't really know how to explain it but the position I'm in now keeps me conflicted all of the time. I have been on the side where he's at, I have lived and suffered through addiction, I honestly do know and understand what it's like for him. But as a person who has lived sober now for 7 years (7 years this month actually) I see the other side of things...I have probably enabled him...I know there is nothing I can do to make him change. He has become a complete stranger in this past year, a stranger who has my father's face is all he is anymore. The pain he has brought me has become so intense and mixed with so many other emotions that I don't know where else to turn or where to seek support. |
Hello oncewaslost, Welcome to SR! I am sure many wise people will be coming soon to welcome you. I am glad you found us. Have you tried ACOA? Adult Children of Alcoholics? I believe they may be able to help you. I am not sure if you have gone there, from your post. Here is their online forum: Adult Children of Addicted/Alcoholic Parents - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information Have you considered seeing an individual therapist? I am sad you have gone through so much pain, but I am glad you have recovered from your own addictions. Congratulations on your 7 years!! It is true that the actors can be the same, and the scenarios can be the same that hurt us a lot before, but with internal work and small steps they can stop hurting little by little - and we can be closer to our own goal - serenity. ALL our loved ones are in HP's hands. It seems you are further ahead in acceptance, so to me you have already done the most difficult step... this one I need to learn from you! Please keep posting, we care very much! (((Hugs from sunny Mexico))) |
Originally Posted by oncewaslost
(Post 2195822)
I am a child of an alcoholic parent with whom I cannot deal with anymore without jeopardizing my own sanity. His continued alcoholism affected my life negatively throughout my entire life. Personally I would love to hear your story. I feel like the majority of my life has been shaped by my AF, and I too have reached a point where I just cannot deal with him anymore for fear of my sanity. So few people understand what it's like. |
Welcome to FFA and congrats for your seven years. :) I meet alot of people in my Al-Anon meetings who also belong to other fellowships. I hope you will try a few meetings and see for yourself if it's something you'd care to be involved with. Don't forget to take a peek at our sticky threads because there's alot of good information up there. It's nice to meet you. |
Congrads on your sober time... that is wonderful... and Congrads that your reaching out to work on all the "other" issues. In my CoDA group I often meet and greet people from AA etc ... other groups.... and most of the time they tell me that when they started CoDA ... the real recovery began. Not to say that your recovery is not amazing.... only that maybe you could be ready to dig a bit deeper. Im glad you posted and I look forward to getting to know you better |
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