I was sent to the psychiatrist and I am afraid. :(
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
I was sent to the psychiatrist and I am afraid. :(
Hello friends.
As you know the moment I saw F. with someone else I had a nervous breakdown. That same afternoon I had an appointment with a doctor for some stomach issues, and he was the one who got me on Lexapro for 3 months. Not sure he was the indicated person for this, but I have to admit they have helped me.
The pills have helped me do my job better and be able to concentrate. To be able to run into F. several times a day and listen to his voice and know his overall presence, and let it go. Or at least take it easier.
Although many times I feel like crying and getting my sadness out, but I am too numb to do it.
I discussed this with my therapist and she suggested to keep the Lexapro dose he gave me, keep taking it and work with a psychiatrist to get off it slowly.
I am scared. Has anyone here been to one before and can let me know what I can expect? I am scared of telling my family and friends that I am going. I do not want them to worry, but I need to talk about what is going on with my heart and life with someone (I will probably resort to my best girlfriend)
My ego is hurt as well, because F. once mentioned I needed psychiatric help, and there I go / without the anti depressants, I get anxiety attacks during the morning, and this weekend while I was camping I had to go out of them for a few hours... those moments, or the ones with my therapist tell me I am so far away from feeling OK yet... all by myself.
I am not sure when I turned obsessive with this person. I know the closeness to him and his new life has kept the scars opened and made it all the more difficult.
My therapist said this sadness was not so much about F. but about my dad and how he left - sadness stored and imprinted for 23 years. Makes sense. Where have I felt this before? I realized this is old and new hurt - feeling unacknowledged, lied to, welcome and then suddenly unwelcome, and witnessing how my dad and F. go about their lives without a care on me after much quacking. I think that is the root of all of this. The disparity between words and actions is making me crazy. Its a dilemma. If I see the actions, I see emotional unavailability, I see physical abandonment, lack of contact and support. If I believe them the hurt is too great. But how can I believe the good times with F. were real at that moment, and that my dad loves me as much as he always says when I see the FACTS? How can I become at peace with this conflict between their words and their actions? I no longer know what is real. I root for the facts, and well, the pain is unbearable, almost half a year crying already.
I asked her how I could forgive my dad, and she told me he was the one who had to cooperate, so I am left numb - I will keep going with her to see how I can finally forgive my dad. She said that after that, F. and any other pending person will be a breeze. I really hope she is right.
As you know the moment I saw F. with someone else I had a nervous breakdown. That same afternoon I had an appointment with a doctor for some stomach issues, and he was the one who got me on Lexapro for 3 months. Not sure he was the indicated person for this, but I have to admit they have helped me.
The pills have helped me do my job better and be able to concentrate. To be able to run into F. several times a day and listen to his voice and know his overall presence, and let it go. Or at least take it easier.
Although many times I feel like crying and getting my sadness out, but I am too numb to do it.
I discussed this with my therapist and she suggested to keep the Lexapro dose he gave me, keep taking it and work with a psychiatrist to get off it slowly.
I am scared. Has anyone here been to one before and can let me know what I can expect? I am scared of telling my family and friends that I am going. I do not want them to worry, but I need to talk about what is going on with my heart and life with someone (I will probably resort to my best girlfriend)
My ego is hurt as well, because F. once mentioned I needed psychiatric help, and there I go / without the anti depressants, I get anxiety attacks during the morning, and this weekend while I was camping I had to go out of them for a few hours... those moments, or the ones with my therapist tell me I am so far away from feeling OK yet... all by myself.
I am not sure when I turned obsessive with this person. I know the closeness to him and his new life has kept the scars opened and made it all the more difficult.
My therapist said this sadness was not so much about F. but about my dad and how he left - sadness stored and imprinted for 23 years. Makes sense. Where have I felt this before? I realized this is old and new hurt - feeling unacknowledged, lied to, welcome and then suddenly unwelcome, and witnessing how my dad and F. go about their lives without a care on me after much quacking. I think that is the root of all of this. The disparity between words and actions is making me crazy. Its a dilemma. If I see the actions, I see emotional unavailability, I see physical abandonment, lack of contact and support. If I believe them the hurt is too great. But how can I believe the good times with F. were real at that moment, and that my dad loves me as much as he always says when I see the FACTS? How can I become at peace with this conflict between their words and their actions? I no longer know what is real. I root for the facts, and well, the pain is unbearable, almost half a year crying already.
I asked her how I could forgive my dad, and she told me he was the one who had to cooperate, so I am left numb - I will keep going with her to see how I can finally forgive my dad. She said that after that, F. and any other pending person will be a breeze. I really hope she is right.
Last edited by TakingCharge999; 04-13-2009 at 12:22 PM.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: London
Posts: 219
For starters stop beating yourself up about going to a see a psychiatrist, according to the World Health Authority 25% of us will need some help at some point and better to get it sooner as opposed to later.
As for your ex telling you you'll need help, it's probably the minority of us that haven't had that one pulled on us at some point, what makes them an authority anyway?
As for your ex telling you you'll need help, it's probably the minority of us that haven't had that one pulled on us at some point, what makes them an authority anyway?
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Okay, back the truck up. rofl No reason to be afraid of going to a Psych Dr. They are great.
I think when we hit stumbling blocks in the road of life, and find ourselves having made some bad choices we need to look at ourselves to figure out why. A Psych Dr is a great HELP in figuring that out!!!!
I do believe that the person who told you 'you needed psychiatric help' was using a typical 'manipulation technique' to deflect away from himself, totally forgetting that when he pointed a finger at you he still had 3 pointing back at himself.
This is why your therapist suggested a Psych Dr. They can help in ways you cannot imagine to get through this, see the causes, and move on with life.
A word of caution, if upon your first or second meeting you feel you don't 'click' with a particular Psych Dr. then move on and find one you do 'click' with.
This is a GOOD thing. Do not feel embarassed. You would be amazed how many folks go to Psych Drs on a regular basis. From the Receptionist in the front office to CEO's, Judges, etc In this 'fast passed' world of today, they really have become a necessity of life.
Good to hear you are moving forward!!!!
Love and hugs,
I think when we hit stumbling blocks in the road of life, and find ourselves having made some bad choices we need to look at ourselves to figure out why. A Psych Dr is a great HELP in figuring that out!!!!
I do believe that the person who told you 'you needed psychiatric help' was using a typical 'manipulation technique' to deflect away from himself, totally forgetting that when he pointed a finger at you he still had 3 pointing back at himself.
How can I become at peace with this conflict between their words and their actions? I no longer know what is real. I root for the facts, and well, the pain is unbearable, almost half a year crying already.
A word of caution, if upon your first or second meeting you feel you don't 'click' with a particular Psych Dr. then move on and find one you do 'click' with.
This is a GOOD thing. Do not feel embarassed. You would be amazed how many folks go to Psych Drs on a regular basis. From the Receptionist in the front office to CEO's, Judges, etc In this 'fast passed' world of today, they really have become a necessity of life.
Good to hear you are moving forward!!!!
Love and hugs,
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Thanks Rainbowsend.
As usual its the Mirroring technique. At least from what the AHs say to us, I cannot think of one single thing that does not apply to them as well. In fact its just exactly what they think of themselves... thank you for the reminder.
Perhaps we are the lucky ones who can be humble enough to seek help and actually obtain it.
You are right, its a sick world, when someone seeks that kind of help I feel shame, but the abusers are out there feeling they are on top of the world. Its just sick and twisted.
As usual its the Mirroring technique. At least from what the AHs say to us, I cannot think of one single thing that does not apply to them as well. In fact its just exactly what they think of themselves... thank you for the reminder.
Perhaps we are the lucky ones who can be humble enough to seek help and actually obtain it.
You are right, its a sick world, when someone seeks that kind of help I feel shame, but the abusers are out there feeling they are on top of the world. Its just sick and twisted.
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Thank you laurie. I saw one sign and will call to ask about the prices.
I read today a quote I liked
"Going to a psychologist or psiquiatrist is accepting your suffering, and not accepting it as part of your life any longer"
Thanks a lot for changing my perspective on this.. I'll tell you how it goes...
I read today a quote I liked
"Going to a psychologist or psiquiatrist is accepting your suffering, and not accepting it as part of your life any longer"
Thanks a lot for changing my perspective on this.. I'll tell you how it goes...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
I've seen a number of psychiatrists over the years. Nice people and helpful. I saw them mainly for med management and got my therapy with clinical social workers.
My son sees a psychiatrist every few months for med management for his bipolar disorder. He see a Gestalt therapist for help with his issues.
There is nothing shameful in seeking help. Regardless of where you get it from. If anything is shameful its not seeking care when you know you need it
Do try to see one who accepts your insurance though. I have to pay $200 for a 15 minute med check with my son's pychiatrist but she was worth it for a while to gets his meds just right. (yes we are looking for a new one who accepts insurance now that his meds are set and changes aren't needed)
My son sees a psychiatrist every few months for med management for his bipolar disorder. He see a Gestalt therapist for help with his issues.
There is nothing shameful in seeking help. Regardless of where you get it from. If anything is shameful its not seeking care when you know you need it
Do try to see one who accepts your insurance though. I have to pay $200 for a 15 minute med check with my son's pychiatrist but she was worth it for a while to gets his meds just right. (yes we are looking for a new one who accepts insurance now that his meds are set and changes aren't needed)
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: over the rainbow
Posts: 487
funny you have a quote from carl jung -yet are ambivalent about seeing a psychiatrist! A good one will help you in so many ways you will end up recommending everyone see one. I read somewhere that it is only in the psychiatrist's office where you can get unconditional love and attention. That is why we can talk to them-it may feel strange the first time you go in but for me I had no other place to go and i really needed to talk to someone who did not know me, would not judge me, and who had not only a perspective on things i might not be able to see for myself ( i know that was the main reasons i needed to see one)-but may be above intelligence and able to Help Me with my problem. (the alcoholic). He did. affirming that i was not crazy nor needed drugs for my depression- and it was well worth it.
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Thanks Barb, we got some insurance at work, I will find out if they cover psychiatrists too. Thank you for reminding me $$
LOL escape artist, that's right. Of course one thing is quoting a psychiatrist and another one actually walking towards one.
I do not think I will tell my family, I do not want them to worry as they are far away, they cannot do much anyway.
LOL escape artist, that's right. Of course one thing is quoting a psychiatrist and another one actually walking towards one.
I do not think I will tell my family, I do not want them to worry as they are far away, they cannot do much anyway.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 30
Don't be afraid of going to see a psychiatrist, they are only people at the end of the day. They talk to you, but you only tell them what you want to tell them, hopefully you will feel comfortable enough to open up, but they cannot make you. If you are lucky and find someone that you can relate to, it will be like talking to a friend in some ways. There is nothing particularly different about them than anybody else, other than they can pick up from things you say and work on specific issues and help you to sort them out in your head. I put off going for therapy for 20 years and when I actually went, it has resolved numerous issues from my past which have impacted my life since childhood, I just wish I had gone earlier. I admit it was hard at the time and I had to work through some of my history and I cried a fair bit, but the tears were healing ones. I would advise anybody to go, you actually know if you need to - nobody really needs to tell you. Take care and I hope you find somebody who you can open up to.
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