AnotherChance

Hi
Newbie here. I am not yet comfortable giving too much away. Situation is really, really bad, need some phrases to keep me sane. One suggested was:

"I refuse to participate in your alcoholic behaviour by supporting it"

Does anyone have any other suggestions?

Chrysalis123

Here is one for you:

First things first.

What do you need to do first for you, for your sanity and emotional well being?

Another one I particularly like is the Serenity Prayer.

Still Waters

I didn't cause it.
I can't control it.
I can't cure it.

AnotherChance

For my personal emotional well being, I would like to rip his arms off and beat him around the head with the soggy ends. But that would just be short term self gratification.

Still Waters

Yes, would feel good for a bit

Can you get to Al-anon?

AnotherChance

Hello Still Waters

I have already asked my pop to go to alanon and he agreed. Trouble is my mam. She is dying of cancer and does not want anything to upset the applecart. Meanwhile she is basically being tortured in her last weeks and I can't do anything. That's why I need something to get me through this time. Alanon is going to have to wait until later. I am doing some reading and a lot of lurking. It has taken some time to get up the courage to post.

Spiritual Seeker

"Nothing changes if nothing changes...Let it begin with me."
What are YOU willing to do? Because that is all you have control of.
Move your focus to yourself and determine what you can do to ease your stress and change your situation.

Still Waters

She is the alcoholic then?

Tortured? Not sure I understand.

If you feel more comfortable, feel free to PM me or any of us here to talk.

Sounds like a very tough situation though. Prayers and hugs to you AnotherChance.

:ghug

AnotherChance

Thanks SW, can't PM until 5 posts.
No she is not alcoholic. But she has supported him for many years. He switched from heroin to alcohol and I think she is terrified he will go back. I live too far away for daily input. She needs help around the house and she has to pay him for doing chores. Both parents are now frail and not up to standing up to him. I am, but have to bide my time, and hopefully remain sane whilst waiting.

AnotherChance

Sorry Spriritual Seeker, missed your reply.
When the time comes, I will do anything that it takes. My hands are just tied now.

TakingCharge999

Hi AnotherChance

Glad you are posting, please keep doing it, this is a safe place to get the emotions out, no one will judge you.

"I am taken care of by God", if you are a believer, otherwise you can replace God by any Higher Power of your choice.

cagefree

Have I hugged my inner child today?

Still Waters

Ah, I see. I assume he is an adult. Very sad and stressful situation for them and you, however - do know that you have no control over them, or him. I mean that you can't now nor could you have earlier forced them to recognize the enabling going on. So, don't beat yourself up with that, when you have so much else going on.


I can imagine myself dealing with a lot of anger in this situation.

Big hugs again. We're (one or another of us) are always here, if you need to talk.