New Here Also
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 2
New Here Also
I have been married to an AH for 14 years. He was diagnosed as a diabetic shortly after we were married. He went in to the hospital with a blood sugar of 900 and was just out of rehab for about 4 months at that time. Shortly after that he started drinking again. Fast forward 14 years..... he has now got high blood pressure, anemia, high potassium, peripheral neuropathy, macular edema and Stage 3 kidney disease. He refuses to quit drinking. I have confronted him on more than one occasion about it and continue to do so. He says the beer has nothing to do with his issues that he is having.
I have left several times in the past and always get sucked back in by the lies. I am wondering if there is anyone else on here who has had experience in dealing with an alcoholic diabetic and any advice they might have.
I have left several times in the past and always get sucked back in by the lies. I am wondering if there is anyone else on here who has had experience in dealing with an alcoholic diabetic and any advice they might have.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
I am sorry you are caught up in the madness that is life with an alcoholic. Although I have no direct experience with an A who is also diabetic (or the rest of the problems you mention) it still comes down to, if he chooses to continue to drink, that is his choice. He's an adult with all the information he needs to make his choices. It sounds like he want to continue what you and I see as bad choices but that is his right.
You cannot change him, you cannot cure him and you cannot control him.
What you can do is learn about your own choices, how to set boundaries and figure out what you want for yourself going forward.
You cannot change him, you cannot cure him and you cannot control him.
What you can do is learn about your own choices, how to set boundaries and figure out what you want for yourself going forward.
aka Miss Scarlett O'Hara
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 364
Hi Alleycat
Don't you wish you could take him to the doctor and the doctor would say, "yes, all of these illnesses are caused from drinking too much." My ABF has all kinds of health problems too and I'm pretty sure they are mostly caused from abusing his medications. He thinks I'm crazy for thinking that. And I an tell he thinks I should feel more sorry for him than I do, even though he doesn't say it. Good luck Alleycat. Whether anyone else on here's A has diabetes or not, there is nothing you can do to make him see the damage he's causing to himself. You've been dealing with this a long time. I know how easy it is to get wrapped up in all of his problems. Please make sure to take care of yourself and your needs as well.
Don't you wish you could take him to the doctor and the doctor would say, "yes, all of these illnesses are caused from drinking too much." My ABF has all kinds of health problems too and I'm pretty sure they are mostly caused from abusing his medications. He thinks I'm crazy for thinking that. And I an tell he thinks I should feel more sorry for him than I do, even though he doesn't say it. Good luck Alleycat. Whether anyone else on here's A has diabetes or not, there is nothing you can do to make him see the damage he's causing to himself. You've been dealing with this a long time. I know how easy it is to get wrapped up in all of his problems. Please make sure to take care of yourself and your needs as well.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
Hi Alleycat and welcome to SR. 
I'm so glad you found us here, because this forum is for you. Most of the people here are in various stages of learning how to successfully function in a life that has been affected by someone else's choices and actions.
I hope you will stick around, read as many posts as you can and also take a look at the sticky threads at the top of the page. The stickies are selected because they contain especially helpful information, resources and threads that have become standard favorites for us all.
I'm so glad you found us here, because this forum is for you. Most of the people here are in various stages of learning how to successfully function in a life that has been affected by someone else's choices and actions.
I hope you will stick around, read as many posts as you can and also take a look at the sticky threads at the top of the page. The stickies are selected because they contain especially helpful information, resources and threads that have become standard favorites for us all.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Lake Mills< IA
Posts: 42
HI alley
You are not alone my boyfriend is an alcoholic and also a diabetic. But u cannot help those that do not want to help themselves. I am recovering from alcoholism myself and boy do I know what u mean by getting sucked back in by all the lies and promises. Oh I will stop I promise. I was saying those words also but I also stopped the insanity quit drinkin and moved out of that insane environment. But we are still a couple to this day and the only reason is because I love him. I hate what he is doing to me and to himself not to mention I have 4 childern and he has one. So Alley I wish u luck and keep coming back to SR the people here are great. I will be praying for u and your family. Welcome to SR.:ghug3
You are not alone my boyfriend is an alcoholic and also a diabetic. But u cannot help those that do not want to help themselves. I am recovering from alcoholism myself and boy do I know what u mean by getting sucked back in by all the lies and promises. Oh I will stop I promise. I was saying those words also but I also stopped the insanity quit drinkin and moved out of that insane environment. But we are still a couple to this day and the only reason is because I love him. I hate what he is doing to me and to himself not to mention I have 4 childern and he has one. So Alley I wish u luck and keep coming back to SR the people here are great. I will be praying for u and your family. Welcome to SR.:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Hi Alley! I would also like to add my welcome to SR.
It's amazing how strong the denial is in an alcoholic. Educate yourself on the disease of alcoholism, read the stickies at the top as suggested. If you have Alanon meetings available in your area, I strongly encourage you to attend for yourself. There you will find face-to-face support among people who understand.
I qualify for both AA and Alanon. I was sponsoring a gal who is an insulin-dependent diabetic, and recently she relapsed and almost drank herself to death. It was frightening. At first she was willing to do whatever it took to get sober and stay sober, but as soon as she started feeling better, got her blood sugar back down, and the initial crisis had passed, she was backpeddling.
I released her with love. I told her I would be there as a friend in AA, but couldn't very well sponsor someone who was determined to go back to her old ways. The disease of alcoholism is cunning, baffling, and powerful.
I hope you continue to post here, and please know you are among many friends here at SR. :ghug :ghug
It's amazing how strong the denial is in an alcoholic. Educate yourself on the disease of alcoholism, read the stickies at the top as suggested. If you have Alanon meetings available in your area, I strongly encourage you to attend for yourself. There you will find face-to-face support among people who understand.
I qualify for both AA and Alanon. I was sponsoring a gal who is an insulin-dependent diabetic, and recently she relapsed and almost drank herself to death. It was frightening. At first she was willing to do whatever it took to get sober and stay sober, but as soon as she started feeling better, got her blood sugar back down, and the initial crisis had passed, she was backpeddling.
I released her with love. I told her I would be there as a friend in AA, but couldn't very well sponsor someone who was determined to go back to her old ways. The disease of alcoholism is cunning, baffling, and powerful.
I hope you continue to post here, and please know you are among many friends here at SR. :ghug :ghug
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