New here...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 11
New here...
Hello all... I'm new here, as if you couldn't tell by the title, and I'm just processing stuff for myself now. I've been lurking for a little while as a "guest" I guess, and I'm just trying to understand stuff on my own now. I'm 16 (very soon to be 17), and my mom's an alcoholic, she'll have a year sober in April sometime I think. She's been an alcoholic all my life, whether in denial or not, and has caused my family some major heartache but nothing we haven't recovered from as far as I can tell. She's been to rehab twice, relapsed so many times I can't even count it, and has really been a huge part of my childhood and such other things.. It's been a long road and I guess now I'm just starting to process it all through since I actually have the time and I understand it more than I did when I was 9, 10, 11, 12, etc..
Oh yeah, about 2 years ago we figured out my brother is a pot head, so, that doesn't really help any either.. I don't need anymore people with addictions in my life. One's certainly enough, you know? It's just that I don't want to see him go down the same road my mom did (whether it's a different drug or not, it's all the same..). I'm scared for him..
Looking forward to meeting you all and learning new things. Thanks for reading
Oh yeah, about 2 years ago we figured out my brother is a pot head, so, that doesn't really help any either.. I don't need anymore people with addictions in my life. One's certainly enough, you know? It's just that I don't want to see him go down the same road my mom did (whether it's a different drug or not, it's all the same..). I'm scared for him..
Looking forward to meeting you all and learning new things. Thanks for reading
Last edited by QuietAndSmall; 04-03-2009 at 10:47 PM. Reason: added another little thing
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Between the ocean and the mountains
Posts: 653
welcome, dear. you are so young to be coping with so much, for so many years. it's good you are here. you can post anytime and people who really care will be here for you. (it's late on the east coast, so a lot of them are sleeping now!)
how sad you must feel about your brother. and lonely and helpless to change him. he is God's child, and what we try to do in recovery is place those we love in the hands of our higher power, for we ourselves have no control over their choices nor their destinies.
recovery is a spiritual experience, for both addicts and their loved ones. we are all so traumatized, it seems the only way to find healing for our battered hearts.
so please post whenever you can and want to. you need the support of others who understand.
blessings to you, quietandsmall.
how sad you must feel about your brother. and lonely and helpless to change him. he is God's child, and what we try to do in recovery is place those we love in the hands of our higher power, for we ourselves have no control over their choices nor their destinies.
recovery is a spiritual experience, for both addicts and their loved ones. we are all so traumatized, it seems the only way to find healing for our battered hearts.
so please post whenever you can and want to. you need the support of others who understand.
blessings to you, quietandsmall.
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
Welcome.
Even though it must be difficult, I hope you are able to focus and concentrate on
your own life by doing well in school and having a few good friends.
In spite of your mom and brother you deserve a joyful successful life.\
you can't control how they will live, but you can control your choices
Even though it must be difficult, I hope you are able to focus and concentrate on
your own life by doing well in school and having a few good friends.
In spite of your mom and brother you deserve a joyful successful life.\
you can't control how they will live, but you can control your choices
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
Hi Q&S!!
Welcome-
I was a little younger than you when my dad finally found real recovery and sobriety (15/16). It was a turbulent time and I wish I had found AlAteen at that time...instea it took my alcoholic brothers (yes, they did sadly go down the same road) to bring me so much pain that I finally walked into my first AlAnon meeting and just followed directions! Wow - I learned so much and really turned my head around.
One (of 3) of my bros stopped drinking but now smokes pot 24/7/365 and you're right
"(whether it's a different drug or not, it's all the same..)"
This is a great website for information & support--
Interstingly what I discovered through AlAnon and when I did some one-on-one therapy was that my mother, who was not a drinker at all, inflicted as much damage on our family by how she handled my father's alcoholism as my father's alcoholism inflicted!! I didn't realize that until I got help and detached enough from my "personal" details to see the big picture - the common patterns, the repeated dynamic that exists in every family dealing with an addict of any kind.
Good luck-- glad you're here!
peace,
b
Welcome-
I was a little younger than you when my dad finally found real recovery and sobriety (15/16). It was a turbulent time and I wish I had found AlAteen at that time...instea it took my alcoholic brothers (yes, they did sadly go down the same road) to bring me so much pain that I finally walked into my first AlAnon meeting and just followed directions! Wow - I learned so much and really turned my head around.
One (of 3) of my bros stopped drinking but now smokes pot 24/7/365 and you're right
"(whether it's a different drug or not, it's all the same..)"
This is a great website for information & support--
Interstingly what I discovered through AlAnon and when I did some one-on-one therapy was that my mother, who was not a drinker at all, inflicted as much damage on our family by how she handled my father's alcoholism as my father's alcoholism inflicted!! I didn't realize that until I got help and detached enough from my "personal" details to see the big picture - the common patterns, the repeated dynamic that exists in every family dealing with an addict of any kind.
Good luck-- glad you're here!
peace,
b
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Welcome to the neighborhood 
I'm so glad you found us. There are really a lot of great people here, and you can always call on us for ideas, support, advice, or just to vent.
My mom was also alcoholic but never found recovery - I remember feeling so lost because I didn't know anywhere to turn to help keep my head screwed on straight. Building a support system like you're doing is probably the most important part of making sure that your mom's choices for HER life have a minimal negative effect on YOUR life.
Welcome!!
I'm so glad you found us. There are really a lot of great people here, and you can always call on us for ideas, support, advice, or just to vent.
My mom was also alcoholic but never found recovery - I remember feeling so lost because I didn't know anywhere to turn to help keep my head screwed on straight. Building a support system like you're doing is probably the most important part of making sure that your mom's choices for HER life have a minimal negative effect on YOUR life.
Welcome!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 2
Originally Posted by Bernadette 
Hi Q&S!!
Welcome-
I was a little younger than you when my dad finally found real recovery and sobriety (15/16). It was a turbulent time and I wish I had found AlAteen at that time...instea it took my alcoholic brothers (yes, they did sadly go down the same road) to bring me so much pain that I finally walked into my first AlAnon meeting and just followed directions! Wow - I learned so much and really turned my head around.
One (of 3) of my bros stopped drinking but now smokes pot 24/7/365 and you're right
"(whether it's a different drug or not, it's all the same..)"
This is a great website for information & support--
Interstingly what I discovered through AlAnon and when I did some one-on-one therapy was that my mother, who was not a drinker at all, inflicted as much damage on our family by how she handled my father's alcoholism as my father's alcoholism inflicted!! I didn't realize that until I got help and detached enough from my "personal" details to see the big picture - the common patterns, the repeated dynamic that exists in every family dealing with an addict of any kind.
Good luck-- glad you're here!
peace,
b
Welcome-
I was a little younger than you when my dad finally found real recovery and sobriety (15/16). It was a turbulent time and I wish I had found AlAteen at that time...instea it took my alcoholic brothers (yes, they did sadly go down the same road) to bring me so much pain that I finally walked into my first AlAnon meeting and just followed directions! Wow - I learned so much and really turned my head around.
One (of 3) of my bros stopped drinking but now smokes pot 24/7/365 and you're right
"(whether it's a different drug or not, it's all the same..)"
This is a great website for information & support--
Interstingly what I discovered through AlAnon and when I did some one-on-one therapy was that my mother, who was not a drinker at all, inflicted as much damage on our family by how she handled my father's alcoholism as my father's alcoholism inflicted!! I didn't realize that until I got help and detached enough from my "personal" details to see the big picture - the common patterns, the repeated dynamic that exists in every family dealing with an addict of any kind.
Good luck-- glad you're here!
peace,
b
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Hi alleycat,
As you can see by reading around on the forum, you're not alone in your feelings. There are people here who are in all stages of improving their lives, from just beginning to think about it all the way to "surviving and thriving." And the decisions are sometimes very hard and very individual.....so it's great to have ideas, thoughts, and support to figure out the best plan of action for US
You may want to go to the main "table of contents" by clicking:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ly-alcoholics/
...and click "New Thread" (middle of the page, on the left edge) to start a thread of your own....you can call yours "New Here" too if you want, and that will catch peoples' eyes. Everyone is so so so willing to help, but they may not find your note buried in this conversation where you've posted. Let me know if you need any help doing that.
Glad you found us!!
GL
As you can see by reading around on the forum, you're not alone in your feelings. There are people here who are in all stages of improving their lives, from just beginning to think about it all the way to "surviving and thriving." And the decisions are sometimes very hard and very individual.....so it's great to have ideas, thoughts, and support to figure out the best plan of action for US
You may want to go to the main "table of contents" by clicking:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ly-alcoholics/
...and click "New Thread" (middle of the page, on the left edge) to start a thread of your own....you can call yours "New Here" too if you want, and that will catch peoples' eyes. Everyone is so so so willing to help, but they may not find your note buried in this conversation where you've posted. Let me know if you need any help doing that.
Glad you found us!!
GL
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