LucyA

I’ve been a bit quiet recently so I thought I’d give you all an update on how things are here.

It’s all feeling a little bit strange at the minute, but I suppose that’s normal. Some days are good and some days are just full of tears.

Joe and I talk about his Dad all the time now, we look at photos and I’ve collected Joe a little memory box, with his Dads St Christopher, his watch, football tickets etc and we look through that when there’s just the two of us here.

Joe seems to be coping fine at the moment, I don’t think I’ll know how much the last couple of years have affected him for a few years though. That’s going to have to be a ‘wait and see’ thing and I’ll deal with whatever it throws up.

Mine and Joe’s relationship’s seen a definite shift since his Dad died. We always talked about Joe going home to his Dad when he was better, and that I was just looking after him till then, not in those exact words but Joe lost his mum too and I think he needed to know he was going home someday. Well, that isn’t going to happen now and Joe’s jumped in with us headfirst, it’s like he’s suddenly accepted this is how it is and he seems so happy with that now. I guess I’ve been the only constant thing in his life for the last 3 years, since his mum got ill and his world turned upside down.

He’s going to be 12 this month, and he’s a happy normal little terror. And, yes, I’m ready to take the credit for that now. I’ve seen how he’s changed in a year of living with us. He still has his times of being sad for his mum and dad, and I don’t think that will ever go away but I’m trying to show him that there are different ways of dealing with it and of remembering them both.

I’m going to court in May for a residence order on Joe, I’ll let you know how that goes.

bookwyrm

Lucy, thank you for such a lovely post. You have done such a fabulous job with Joe - you make your home lives sound so happy and healthy. It is heart warming to hear.

Barbara52

May God continue to bless you and comfort you both. {hugs}

Impurrfect

(((Lucy)))

Thanks for the update, and it's good to know Joe is a "happy normal little terror"..I think that is because of you. You and your family are always in my prayers!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

CatsPajamas

Lucy,

You are truly an angel in that boy's life. What a wonderful gift you have given him. I wish you both much love and joy.

cmc

Thanks for the update. Joe is blessed to have you in his life. I'll be praying for all the legal matters to be taken care of properly and in order.

(((Lucy))) ((((Joe))))

Chrysalis123

Lucy, you have made an eternal difference for Joe, his kids, and grandkids. Thank you for being you. I lost my mother at about Joe's age. After her death no one talked about her, showed me things of hers or about her, or helped me remember that she loved me. I wish someone had and it makes me so happy to see that you are doing that for Joe.

LucyA

Thanks, I wasn't looking for praise or anything, but it's nice to hear your thoughts. Joe and I have a good relationship, in fact the four of us ( Joe, my two boys and me) do, but we've all learned how to manage that together. My relationship with my own boys is much better since Joe came because we had to learn how to say what we meant, there was too much skirting around stuff at first and it just didn't work. Whatever we have given Joe he's repaid us tenfold in the lessons we've learned as a family unit.

There is light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to remember to switch the torch on

Bernadette

Lucy-
thanks for the update....your story always amazes me with it's simple, logical kindness that is yet so complex and difficult to carry out and yet there you are still taking it on for yourself and your boys... just sending you a prayer for strength and thinking of you....how are your folks holding up? It seems they were in denial even so close to the end there....

peace,
b

LucyA

My dad isn't good at the moment Bernadette, but I think it's a combination of his health in general (he's had a stroke, heart attack, knee replacement and been diagnosed diabetic and anaemic in the last few years) and grief. He forgets things and gets annoyed with himself for it and that makes him worse. I think he's beating himself up with a bit of guilt too, but he's not a talker so I'm not 100% sure.
My mum is doing fine, she's coping with my dad, but she's also had to accept what caused my brothers death as it was written in black and white on his death certificate after the post mortem. Alcoholic liver chirossis and steatotropic (sp) heart disease. In a way I think her seeing that has been the best thing to come out of all this as she now really does accept that he was very ill and no matter how much she looked after him there was nothing she could do for him that would have changed things.

Lilyflower

Lucy, thanks for your beautiful posting. I hope that the hearing in May goes well for you as I am sure it will, Joe is blessed to have you and it sounds as though his presence in your home has brought blessings of its own too.

My love to you and your family, :ghug2

Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

peaceteach

Hi Lucy! Thanks for the update. I'm so happy to hear that Joe is letting his permanence with you sink in. He is a very lucky boy, and it sounds like you consider yourselves lucky also--very cool.

I pray that May brings you good news in making things all legal and that Joe knows that his Aunt Lucy will always be there for him. You are a sweetheart. All your boys are lucky. Keep posting!

Mair

God bless you Lucy xxx