Not Giving Ourselves Enough Credit
Yield beautiful changes
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: A home filled with love
Posts: 1,696
Not Giving Ourselves Enough Credit
I put a lot of emphasis on and invest a lot of importance in the relationships that bless (or curse 
) my life. A lot. I spend a good deal of time thinking about my relationships - my casual friendships, child, lovers (in my case that word really isn't plural - but it sounds SO cosmopolitan, I can't resist!), ex-husband, parents, siblings, BFF's, patients, brothers and sisters-in-law, etc....
I wonder how people are doing.
I ponder conversations that we have had.
I think of gifts they may enjoy or food they might like for me to prepare on their next visit.
I fill much of my time with thoughts of others.
It's gotten to the point that I focus so completely on the success of my relationships, that I fail to recognize other areas of success in my life. Especially when one of my relationships is in disrepair.
I tend to define myself by relationships, and I think this contributes to my tendency towards codependency.
My triumphs in school, at work, or in social organizations seem trivial in comparison to the importance I place on maintaining harmony and goodwill in my relationships. I wonder where I learned this - certainly everyone doesn't hold this same set of values.
I'm inclined to think that my gender has something to do with it - that as a little girl I was told to find the right man, whereas my brothers were told to find the right job.
Today I'm working on being proud of myself for MY accomplishments - specifically those that have NOTHING to do with the people I love;
I'm going to spend some time tooting my horn.
:
I have made the dean's list every single semester of Pharmacy school.
I helped organize a very successful silent auction to benefit the Make-A-Wish Foundation.
I was selected for a competitive acute care rotation.
I am consistently praised for my patient counseling skills.
I ran the long leg of a marathon relay recently - and beat my record best time for the 10k.
The end of my marriage doesn't make me a failure - I have a lot of success!
What are some of your personal successes?
) my life. A lot. I spend a good deal of time thinking about my relationships - my casual friendships, child, lovers (in my case that word really isn't plural - but it sounds SO cosmopolitan, I can't resist!), ex-husband, parents, siblings, BFF's, patients, brothers and sisters-in-law, etc.... I wonder how people are doing.
I ponder conversations that we have had.
I think of gifts they may enjoy or food they might like for me to prepare on their next visit.
I fill much of my time with thoughts of others.
It's gotten to the point that I focus so completely on the success of my relationships, that I fail to recognize other areas of success in my life. Especially when one of my relationships is in disrepair.
I tend to define myself by relationships, and I think this contributes to my tendency towards codependency.
My triumphs in school, at work, or in social organizations seem trivial in comparison to the importance I place on maintaining harmony and goodwill in my relationships. I wonder where I learned this - certainly everyone doesn't hold this same set of values.
I'm inclined to think that my gender has something to do with it - that as a little girl I was told to find the right man, whereas my brothers were told to find the right job.
Today I'm working on being proud of myself for MY accomplishments - specifically those that have NOTHING to do with the people I love;
I'm going to spend some time tooting my horn.
:I have made the dean's list every single semester of Pharmacy school.
I helped organize a very successful silent auction to benefit the Make-A-Wish Foundation.
I was selected for a competitive acute care rotation.
I am consistently praised for my patient counseling skills.
I ran the long leg of a marathon relay recently - and beat my record best time for the 10k.
The end of my marriage doesn't make me a failure - I have a lot of success!
What are some of your personal successes?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
What a wonderful way to look at life! Thanks for this. I too often let thoughts of having 2 failed marriages as being a big black mark on my character. Its actually a rather small thing and a small part of me.
My top successes that come immediately to mind:
I am tops in my profession and make danged good money doing it.
I have made a difference in a number of lives, both personally and through charity work.
I am confident and self assured. There ain't nothing I can't handle with the help of God.
I've earned the affection of my cats. Even the semi-feral one who came from Baghdad trusts and loves me in his dear kitty way.
My top successes that come immediately to mind:
I am tops in my profession and make danged good money doing it.
I have made a difference in a number of lives, both personally and through charity work.
I am confident and self assured. There ain't nothing I can't handle with the help of God.
I've earned the affection of my cats. Even the semi-feral one who came from Baghdad trusts and loves me in his dear kitty way.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
Posts: 2,144
Food for thought TC
I am a male, yet I do the same thing
personal and professional relationships seem to dominate me quite often, also I focus on my "failures" professionally, personally, emotionally etc.
I "struggle" with pessimism
When I am having financial difficulty I seem to "focus" on it to the exclusion of everything else, the same is true of any sort of "difficulty" I am experiencing, on hindsight, I always seem to look back and find out everything was "perfect", it couldn't have happened any better.
I am really working on this.
here is a post I made on the alcoholic 12 step forum a few days ago regarding "positive" things on your life
I am a male, yet I do the same thing
personal and professional relationships seem to dominate me quite often, also I focus on my "failures" professionally, personally, emotionally etc.
I "struggle" with pessimism
When I am having financial difficulty I seem to "focus" on it to the exclusion of everything else, the same is true of any sort of "difficulty" I am experiencing, on hindsight, I always seem to look back and find out everything was "perfect", it couldn't have happened any better.
I am really working on this.
here is a post I made on the alcoholic 12 step forum a few days ago regarding "positive" things on your life
Originally Posted by Ago 
Hows this for positive
I have changed my entire life in the last few months
I just moved to a cute little house, the hardwood floors are 1/2 done
I mowed the front and back lawn, seeded the front, did weeding
Just got a new job today
my life has been hard as HELL but I am moving forward, and things are improving
Patience is being OK with "what is" rather then patience is waiting for something to change.
I been patient.
God is finally beginning to "kick down" with the Good stuff
(I am so full of sh1t God has been "kicking down" ever since I decided, hell, BEFORE I decided to get sober, it just aint been what I had in mind, or on my time schedule, every time I look back I'm all, that couldn't have gone any better, course while I'm actually IN it, I'm all "waaa waaaa things couldn't be any worse, waaaa, doom, gloom, chicken little was an optimist waaaa, I AM a moron)
Hell, just my girl alone is a reason for a gratitude list all on her own, and I actually got a lot of good things happening in my life.
I just wish it would happen a little faster with more money.
I have changed my entire life in the last few months
I just moved to a cute little house, the hardwood floors are 1/2 done
I mowed the front and back lawn, seeded the front, did weeding
Just got a new job today
my life has been hard as HELL but I am moving forward, and things are improving
Patience is being OK with "what is" rather then patience is waiting for something to change.
I been patient.
God is finally beginning to "kick down" with the Good stuff
(I am so full of sh1t God has been "kicking down" ever since I decided, hell, BEFORE I decided to get sober, it just aint been what I had in mind, or on my time schedule, every time I look back I'm all, that couldn't have gone any better, course while I'm actually IN it, I'm all "waaa waaaa things couldn't be any worse, waaaa, doom, gloom, chicken little was an optimist waaaa, I AM a moron)
Hell, just my girl alone is a reason for a gratitude list all on her own, and I actually got a lot of good things happening in my life.
I just wish it would happen a little faster with more money.
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Thanks TC, these kind of threads are so uplifting.
- I got a job with the double of salary $$. My coworkers hold me in high regard. I enjoy my job. I do it well, I notice my shortcomings and move forward.
- I am able to rent a nice apartment just for myself. I am paying my own car.
- I enjoy being alone - I enjoy my own company. Whichever way I feel.
- I am becoming my own best friend. It was high time. I have missed myself!
- After 27 years of the same BS, in a few months I prefer to look inward rather than outward. I am preferring the present rather than the past, or the future.
- I work to forgive. I have forgiven and will continue to forgive others and myself. I know how to forgive for real, 100%. No looking back.
- I am becoming very good in taking care of my health and making my physical space pretty.
- I am independent and have lived alone for the most part of the last 9 years. I enjoy traveling alone.
- I have artistic talents and cannot wait to place my efforts in them. 27 years feeling lousy and "not enough". I am done with that. I am very creative!
- I am pretty, have nice skin and love fashion. I have good taste (at least for clothes, LOL)
Wow, just remembering this stuff and my plans, I realized how I am creating my own life, its a great one, I imagine all what's in store for me. All that is positive. Thank you! I feel so blessed.
- I got a job with the double of salary $$. My coworkers hold me in high regard. I enjoy my job. I do it well, I notice my shortcomings and move forward.
- I am able to rent a nice apartment just for myself. I am paying my own car.
- I enjoy being alone - I enjoy my own company. Whichever way I feel.
- I am becoming my own best friend. It was high time. I have missed myself!
- After 27 years of the same BS, in a few months I prefer to look inward rather than outward. I am preferring the present rather than the past, or the future.
- I work to forgive. I have forgiven and will continue to forgive others and myself. I know how to forgive for real, 100%. No looking back.
- I am becoming very good in taking care of my health and making my physical space pretty.
- I am independent and have lived alone for the most part of the last 9 years. I enjoy traveling alone.
- I have artistic talents and cannot wait to place my efforts in them. 27 years feeling lousy and "not enough". I am done with that. I am very creative!
- I am pretty, have nice skin and love fashion. I have good taste (at least for clothes, LOL)
Wow, just remembering this stuff and my plans, I realized how I am creating my own life, its a great one, I imagine all what's in store for me. All that is positive. Thank you! I feel so blessed.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
I am feeling a little drecky this morning, so I've given myself an assignment to post this, to help pick myself back up.
--I left my soulless 'office job' twelve years ago and started my own one-person company, which has been quietly successful and which, despite the economy, actually grew last year.
--I am in school full time and have maintained a 4.0 grade point average.
--Step by tiny step, I have completely gotten out of debt except my part of the mortgage, and even that isn't very much any more.
--I now have good relationships with all members of my family. Not that I want to hang out with them all 24/7, but I can talk freely and openly to them all and there's little they can do or say to upset me any more.
--I am hoping to hear soon about a piece of writing I submitted to the annual university competition (a big school of 30,000 students), but even if I don't win anything, I know it's good enough to publish....and I will.
--I now have the same level of tenderness and concern for myself that I always had for everyone else in my life. I've finally learned to say: How do I feel about myself? What gift could I give myself? Am I taking care of GL? at least as often as I think those things about others.
Oh, god, that was hard to do, so I'll stop. I'm sitting here gritting my teeth.
Good practice, right
--I left my soulless 'office job' twelve years ago and started my own one-person company, which has been quietly successful and which, despite the economy, actually grew last year.
--I am in school full time and have maintained a 4.0 grade point average.
--Step by tiny step, I have completely gotten out of debt except my part of the mortgage, and even that isn't very much any more.
--I now have good relationships with all members of my family. Not that I want to hang out with them all 24/7, but I can talk freely and openly to them all and there's little they can do or say to upset me any more.
--I am hoping to hear soon about a piece of writing I submitted to the annual university competition (a big school of 30,000 students), but even if I don't win anything, I know it's good enough to publish....and I will.
--I now have the same level of tenderness and concern for myself that I always had for everyone else in my life. I've finally learned to say: How do I feel about myself? What gift could I give myself? Am I taking care of GL? at least as often as I think those things about others.
Oh, god, that was hard to do, so I'll stop. I'm sitting here gritting my teeth.
Good practice, right
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
