I'd like some advice?
 

i need some advice or something! one of my really good friends.....used to drink a lot. he stopped drinking for about a year..and now hes drinking again..... i love him to death but i hate when he's drinking, it makes him really depressed and not himself...... how can i get him to stop???

You can't.

You CAN tell him how you feel and allow him to make his own conclusions.

I'm sorry you have to go through this, but letting go of that feeling to "help" by getting him to stop when he isn't ready, will help you deal with your feelings about his drinking.

Oh Nate!
If there was a way to get them to stop none of us would be here!!

You didn't Cause it.
You can't Control it.
You can't Cure it!

Welcome -- take some time and read the "stickies" at the top of the first page of this forum...there's lots of good info there to help you get the big picture.

I found the only thing I could do that kept me in good conscience was to hand my brothers the number of local AA and tell them I was concerned and that I loved them. And then you pretty much have to just let go...what they decide to do with their lives is only up to them. And having expectations that you can say "just the thing" or come up with the solution to their problem will make you nuts and sick.

It is painful to see someone you love become addicted to alcohol...that pain drove me to do all kinds of things thinking I could "help," things that only made me frustrated, depressed, crazy, and wasted my finances. AlAnon helped me figure out how to deal with the A's in my life without making myself feel guilty, or hopeless, or crazy and it taught me how to stop enabling the alcoholic.

Sorry for what brought you here- but this is a great forum and many here have walked in your shoes.
peace-
b

I couldn't say it any better than Bernadette did.

You know that old expression 'you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink...' ?

You can tell him how you feel (in however you guys communicate), you can suggest that his life will be way better if he stops again, you can pull the AA numbers and offer them..........but none of that is any guarantee that he'll stop. He has to do that on his own. I wish there were an easier way, but if there were some magic words or actions that could get them to stop drinking, we would not need to come to a place like this for support. Alcoholism is a b****rd.

Hoping your friend finds his way back.......glad you found us.....
:hug: