bluejay6

i'm so sorry, blessed. yes, the need to throw up for years, from the shock, many of understand well, when the world goes upside down.

is your H still an active A? still using? i don't know your history.....

if so, dear, then the dealbreaker should be the children, not the infidelity. children should not EVER have to live with a drunk or a drug addict.

so if you have been holding on, and if now you still want to hold on, hoping he loves you and will be yours....

take a stand for your children and leave him.

and if he is in "recovery".....well, it didn't work. there is no hope.

i am so very sorry for your pain. but you will most certainly come out of this situation with your head held high, your integrity intact, and your womanhood a beautiful wonder to behold.

when we make noble choices, that's what happens.

blessed4x

Thank you. He currently is not drinking, about 2 months now. His behavior has not changed, as he now spends all of his time in the bedroom reading. He does not admit to being an alcoholic although he spent the better part of a year drinking a case (some days 18, some 30) of beer a day. I know that the fact that he would have rather been home alone while the rest of us went on a school trip is reason enough to see he's not invested in being a part of our lives. Even if he had not cheated while we were gone, he should have been there for his son. It hurts that many of the other kids had both parents involved.

I am going out with some girlfriends tonight....it will be group therapy for me, if you know what I mean. They are awesome women who will be my main support system through this......and they'll give me a swift kick when I need it. I still haven't told AH I know, and I won't. He'll figure that out soon enough, but my friends know me well and they have advised that I get the paperwork going first. I'm going to trust them on this one.

sillysquirrel

I hope you enjoy yourself with your girlfriends tonight. It is just what you need. I am thinking that when April 15th comes around and tax season ends, I am going to call on some of my girls for some support too. Unlike my AH, they are always there for me, no matter what!!

cyclelady

((((Blessed)))) I am SO sorry you have to go through this....
This too shall pass....:ghug One day at a time....sometimes one minute at a time...

coyote21

"Who you gonna believe, me.... or your lying eyes?"

Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote

Daisy30

I am sorry! I hope you have a great night out with the girls.

Iknow my friends have been a great support....as soon as I opened up to them

Freedom1990

My EXAH and I were already separated 6 months after we had gotten married. On our one year anniversary, he had disappeared once again, and I just knew in my gut he was with someone else. He had multiple affairs during the time we were together.

One of my friends called, and insisted she and her husband take me out for a nice supper just because they wanted to.

I've never forgotten their kindness.

I'm sorry you're hurting.

:ghug :ghug

blessed4x

Thank you all for the support. I had a great time with my friends, and now feel recharged and ready to make the phone call to the attorney today. On the advice of a friend who's been there I'm seeking councel with another attorney. She felt like the one I originally saw was not enough of a "barracuda".

I will need prayers and hugs to get through this, but I'm not backing down. Cheating IS my dealbreaker.

SleepyCherie

There is nothing left for me to add. Stay strong. Glad bag his ass.

:ghug2

blessed4x

Appointment at 1:30 today. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale......

GiveLove

Blessed, let us know how it goes.

We'll all be with you in spirit. This meeting is an important part of the construction project you're involved in: Building you & your children a magnificently happy, stable, loving, serene future together.

Sending you love, hugs, and strength :ghug3

ToughChoices

Keep breathing....
This is the toughest part, but it really does get so much better.
A great life is out there for you, blessed. Really.

tallulah

One step at a time. It's going to be hard.. these things are.. but remember now there is going to be light at the end of that tunnel

You are in my thoughts.. :ghug

blessed4x

And this time it's NOT going to be a freight train!

Bernadette

(((((((((((((((((((blessed4x)))))))))))))))))))
just sending a hug for support today!
good luck-
I remember the day I had my first appt. with the lawyer...I felt like I was going to throw up- but man, nothing makes detachment and reality line up so perfectly and so beautifully as our legal system!!
Trust the process - and keep your eye on the prize: freedom and peace of mind and sanity!!!!!!!!!

peace,
b

Chrysalis123

Thinking of you right now, Blessed.

I even had trouble making the phone call to the lawyer so you, my friend, are doing great!

Daisy30

:ghug2

TakingCharge999

hi blessed!!
just offering some ((hugs)).

i am a newbie on the other side of the bridge, and man is it much better over here. i am glad you are taking the steps to obtain your serenity and peace. they are so worth it!!

let us know how you are doing and i like your friends, they seem great! i am glad you have them in your life.

TakingCharge999

:ghug3

suddenly it strikes me, that life is too short to share it with people that are just not worth it. i agree that no confrontation means no quacking. as soon as they quack, there is more hurt. they will deny the sky is blue if needed.

they can live in denial the rest of their life if they want... the important thing is they are not dragging us anymore, in the eternal "WTF" vortex of lies and manipulation. i prefer this universe . sometimes it sucks, but at least its REAL. and offers so many wonderful gifts for the brave ones!!

Blondie

Sorry you are going through this. It happened to me too. It hurts so bad, but just keeping concentrating on working on yourself. My main motivation was my kids, now it is for the kids but it is also for me because it feels so wonderful to work toward recovery and see the progress (even though at times it can be painful). Serenity is priceless!

If he is anything like mine, he will blame YOU for HIS cheating - don't buy it, that is the choice HE made.

Stay strong!