LaTeeDa

It has been observed many times that people with codependent tendencies gravitate toward “helping” professions such as nurse, counselor, social worker, life coach, etc.

While never really being attracted to “people-helping” jobs, I can say for sure that my “fixing” desires have definitely helped steer my career choices. I believe that one of the primary reasons I chose a career in IT is because of the rush I get when I fix something. Just yesterday, there was a problem with a hardware component that three different people tried to solve. After all three had given it a shot and then shrugged their shoulders and said it can’t be fixed, I stepped in. After considering the problem from many angles, and taking into consideration the steps that had already been tried by others, I managed to solve the problem. And it felt really good.

To me, this is an example of taking a trait that can be detrimental (like never giving up on fixing another person) and channeling it into a positive and productive trait (finding a solution to something others could not).

I’m interested in hearing about other’s professional/career choices which have allowed you to use traits that may be negative in regards to a relationship with an A, but turn out to be positive in an occupation.

L

Freedom1990

One of my favorite jobs was veterinary assistant. I've been a long-time animal lover, and have a house full of fur kids. I also have a small petsitting business on the side.

IT was one of my possible choices for a college degree. However, I'm going for the degree in Health Information Technology. (medical billing/coding)

GiveLove

I am a web consultant and designer. I generally choose to work for people who are working for good causes, not big budgets, but people who are looking for loyal and helpful guidance that they can afford. Maybe they've been taken advantage of by other contractors, or others are burying them in geek stuff they don't understand, or they've got big dreams but are afraid to do anything on the web.

My codie traits push me to make miracles happen -- sacrifice time and energy in order to make someone else's world okay -- see where things can be fixed and fix them myself -- get people to recognize their own priceless talents and gifts -- and feel like I'm superwoman, putting the world right, and everybody claps and shouts, "Hooray for GL, you saved us!!" LOL

The parts I have to continue to work on are life balance (making sure I take equally good care of ME as I do of THEM) and making sure I remember to charge people for my services

I'm perfect for my job, and my job is tailored for a codie. When my work is done, I can see all the good THEY do in the world because of my help.....they make money, they help animals and kids, they change the world. What a rush

p.s. find a way to earn an income on your codie-ness; it makes work more effortless and fun

Lilyflower

This is the fundamental thing for me in my recovery. I sometimes see posts from people saying they don't want to change who they are, like looking at my codependent nature means I need to re-invent myslef because the way I am functioning now isn't working for me.

Yet as I have gone through the recovery process, I am more inclined to find the correct balance. As I know has been said, my charactertraits are good and caring and useful; for me it has been about realising when I am crossing someone else's psychic boundary (by controlling etc) when my 'caring' nature becomes an issue, and I need to remind myself to keep those boundary lines.

At work, this manifests itself with those in the office who always seem to fish for the answers rather than work it out for themselves. I have in the past, just told them how to do it, or given the answer; now I am more inclined to leading them to discover the answer for themselves and ignore any attempts to 'rescue' a person who just wants others to do for them.

I work in a finance team.

Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

respektingme

Years ago, I loved being the hero at work. Making a great presentation or helping a B-2 make an emergency landing could feel pretty spectacular. Now I think I prefer helping others learn skills that I possess so that they can succeed. Less glamorous but it feels better to me.

blessed4x

Interesting thread!! I definately fit the profile! I'm a nurse, also have a degree in psychology (I originally wanted to be a psychologist). As a child and teen my goal was to be a physical therapist.....so, yea, I am living proof of the theory, LOL.

In the past I worked with at risk families, those involved in drug use, or teen parents. I loved the excitement and drama of being in the inner city and dodging in and out of drug houses, and all of the close encounters with gangs. Now I have a much calmer job of working with adults to help manage their chronic diseases. At first I hated it, thought it was boring and not nearly glamorous enough. As I am getting healthier, I see the value in what I am doing without having to get knee deep in their problems. I provide education, assessments, and ultimately they are responsible for what they do with it. I am thankful that I have my degree in nursing. The economy being what it is I will certainly never be without a job. I am also thankful that I no longer have to get my self worth through a job that put my life at risk......and that I can identify how unhealthy it was for me. I'm not saying that everyone who works in that field is unhealthy, because there is a huge need for caring people to mentor and protect these children. I believe some people can do it well with boundaries and for the right reasons.

Thanks again....great thread!

GiveLove

( I can see it now: "forgive me, father (mother) anvilhead, for I have sinned. I have overdone the t-bones and now they are shoe leather."

Nope. Can't see it. You're great where you are! )

TakingCharge999

IT tech support

I save all the Thank You's receive and get a high when something actually gets fixed lol. which is more unusual !!

Staying long hours, under stress, pressure from everyone, perfect for us Martyrs !! having no christmas , weekends, giving everything and not being noted, only when you make a mistake... !!

Wish I had studied Tourism or Folklore !!

sailorjohn

Interesting thread. Never did figure out what I wanted to be 'when I grew up'-for obvious reasons And now, I find myself retired.

Only one thing popped up, have always had an insatiable curiosity as to how things worked, when I was a child I was always taking things apart and rarely able to put them back together again.

As an adult, I do find myself trying to fix things, sometimes detrimental-they can't be fixed-other times pretty productive, you ever noticed how they jam so many things into such a tight space under the hood of your car?

Jazzman

I fix stuff. I can fix a broken stereo, VCR, computer, SONET multiplexer, DWDM amplifier. I can build and operate networks ranging in size from a simple home PC network to fiber optic transmission networks from coast to coast. I use to enjoy how it made people happy that their "stuff" worked again. I got into this field because when I was a kid I would take everything apart and figure out how it worked then put it back together again. But with electronic stuff you needed and education to really know how it worked. Most ex musicians I use to hang with went into some sort of technology field. Maybe just because it was a sign of the times?

Funny though, I have said many times I can fix these things but I can not fix people. Just not qualified. I'm a firm believer in referring servicing to qualified technicians, (or a qualified therapist). There are some things I know I'm not qualified to fix and I don't even try. I do very little plumbing or carpentry work around the house, or mechanical work on my cars. Simple stuff is fine but any more complicated and I stop. I'm also a firm believer in the saying, if you don't know what you're doing, don't do it, stop and get the appropriate help.

But for some reason I thought I could fix my ex. That was a tough lesson.

Glenna9802

I am a medical transcriptionist and have been for almost 20 years. Since they are legal documents, I have to make sure that not a character or punctuation mark is out of place, which totally goes along with my need for perfection and order (lol).

jennygirl73

Gosh, what an eye opener! I am the go-to fix-it person in our office. I fix everyone's problems, and often stay late and cannot finish my own work because I am so busy fixing everyone's problems! I work in Finance and Compliance for an independent auto dealership group.

bragi

All I'll add is that I'm a Software Engineer and can relate to GiveLove

MissFixit

My silly alias says enough. MissFixit. Not quite. I used to try to "fix" everything all the while neglecting me. I picked that name because of its irony to my situation and attempts to fix.

I was in non-profit work before returning to school. Now, I am entering economic development (trying to help regions attract business and increase jobs/employment).

CatsnDogs4Me

Boy - it's funny to read these & see how much alike we all are! I'm an IT person as well - a business analyst and project manager - perfect for my codie-traits. I work on translating business-ese into techie-ease for our programmers, and I'm the one in our group who develops and manages project plans for on our in-house development team. On the side, I'm also the local MS Office guru, and I get a high when I figure out a solution to a problem no one else could find either. Like others have said, I do consider my co-dependent nature a perfect fit for my job. And, like others on the board, I'm a huge animal lover (have 4 cats & 3 dogs) - all rescues. I've been involved in animal rescue for several years, though I'm taking a bit of a hiatus at the moment - just gave too much of myself to it for too long & burned out. Besides, my "kids" at home need my attention, too. I'm also into fixing whatever I can at home. I've replaced light fixtures, installed thermostats & recently fixed a leak in my whirlpool tub!

ToughChoices

I'm finishing up my education -
in 1 short year I'll be a pharmacist.
Looking back, I never even considered a "non-helping" profession. They just didn't seem rewarding to me.

Today, I use the "never give up" attitude that plagued me in my alcoholic marriage to help solve medication and insurance issues. I'm incredibly patient when counseling patients, and I almost never lose my temper. It actually works out really well!

Great thread!

Ago

I've worked for "The Light Side" (codependent side) and "saved" stuff (Fireman/Paramedic)

and "The Dark Side" (Alkie side) and killed stuff (Tree Removals)

and been a suffering starving artist (that ate well, drank like a fish, and had no reason to suffer, it just looks better if you are an artist to suffer) (both alkie and codie) and bartended which combines both co and alkie tendencies.

So I'm perfectly conflicted

cyclelady

I have a degree in Social Work, going back to school for Nursing, but work as an Office Manager for a small company where I too get to help people when they need me for the last 10 years - See Blessed4x we are more alike than we thought, lol...:ghug2

baileyboop

I currently work in Education with Special Education certification. Prior to that, I work for a Mental Health Resource Center and crisis management.....

kwigers

LOL hmmm need I say anything at all...it appears more than obvious:-(:ghug
~Cheryl