bearfeet

Thanks Barbara,

She said that his defence may bring up things such as arguments and communications between us because that's there job but to warn my solicitor of anything likely on the day, she said that the only important thing is the crime that happened on that day.

I do deep down want to go through with it for the benefit of my own conscience but a little voice inside still squeaks 'you are sending the man you love to prison' I know I know I know it's not me it's his actions though but I know he won't see it like that. I had just hoped he would have pleaded guilty, been given credit for doing so and it all to be dealt with by the law.

Your question 'What will you tell your daughter years from now?' what if she asks me why I sent her Dad to prison? If they have contact in years to come which I doubt but may be her wish that's surely the excellent 'excuse' he can then use to write off all of his responsibilities the main one being his child (which I might had he has had no deaire to see or help financially for 6 months, walking around free of any prison constraints to stop him......

I was speaking to a friend/colleague about the situation today and I mused 'I wonder does he have any care for us' he is a recovering A, though I didn't know this before today and he told me that No he most likely doesn't care a bit, he said that when he was drinking if his wife and children had been knocked over he would have 'stepped over them to get to the door of the pub' Quite a statement. He also said that during his drinking he didn't have a care for anyone, least of all himself. Made me feel so sad......


xxxxxxxx

bearfeet

Givelove, Missfixit and Anvilhead you are all absolutely right, never mind me and my concerns, society at large deserve to be protected from his drunken antics, I shouldn't be the one to give him the silent acceptence that it's ok.

x

MissFixit

When you daughter is old enough to know the truth about her father's actions (hopefully not until she is wayyyy older), tell her the truth if she asks you about it.

ToughChoices

(((((bearfeet))))))

What a difficult spot!
I'm proud of your resolve.

Boo on him for twisting your testimony into "the reason" he's going to prison. Duh, the reason he's going to prison is HE SET YOUR HOUSE ON FIRE!

I am honestly astounded at the way some folks are able to so totally abdicate responsibility for their actions.

I feel certain that this cowardly, lying man is undeserving of the kind of overwhelming and abundant love that you are capable of sharing.

Good luck at the trial.

JenT1968

ditto what everyone else said. Sorry he hasn't stepped up and taken responsibility for it.

YOU AREN'T DOING THIS.

quite above all of the "his actions:his consequences" (which is entirely true) unless you are a judge in the trial (which would probably be a tad unethical) you don't get to decide this.

it will be the JURY that decides if he is guilty, and what of (If it is a jury trial) and the JUDGE who sends him to prison (if that is what happens, and I hope it is). not you.

you are a witness stating your account of what happened that day, you have no more responsibility than that: just stating the truth of what happened.

If you don't you may well be prosecuted yourself...and leave a legacy for your daughter that it is ok for men to try and kill women, when they get upset, not a message that I would want to teach my daughter.

we have a legal system for a reason, not only to punish (in fact not really even to do that in this country) but to protect the populace: let it do its job.

This is a strong and courageous thing. Do not let thoughts about the poor "man you love" (who tried to kill you) get in the way of justice.

and you might want to look at why you still describe the man who tried to kill you as the man you love.

And don't let this either..... are you really worried about your motivation being less than pure? because the justice system is set up for and by human beings. If you had shopped him for evading a parking fine out of pique, this may be an argument that would hold sway with a jury or judge, however I think trying to kill you has significantly trumped your malicious thoughts....

just put your facts forward and let the judicial system do its work.

:ghug

bearfeet

Thank you 'No-nonsense Ceridwen' x x x x x x x x

GiveLove

Indeed that is one reason why we love her so :ghug2

TakingCharge999

"I know I know I know it's not me it's his actions though but I know he won't see it like that."

Honestly hon, we don't care how HE "sees" it. He is a dangerous man. Period.
I am glad you put him out of your life.

You are so strong and brave! you inspired me today. Thank you.

bearfeet

You are ALL so strong and brave and you all inspire me EVERYDAY x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Barbara52

You aren't the one sending him to prison, now are you? He chose to commit a crime. The courts are the ones who decide what the punishment is to be. You aren't powerful enough to put him in jail all by yourself.

You would be responsible for putting yourself in jail (if that is a possible consequences of a potential choice not to testify) if you would decide not to testify. What would that do to your daughter?


Give your daughter some credit (well your daughter in the future). I'm sure she will be smart enough to understand what happened and how the legal system works you know. And will see through any BS excuses from her father.

tbeit

What do you all think? Anyone have any knowledge on the UK judicial system to predicit the outcome?


I have no knowledge of the UK judicial system but this guy sounds very dangerous.He may be a nice guy when he is sober but come on he lit your house on fire.That is very scary

Still Waters

Baby!!!!!! Thanks so much for her pic! I so miss little ones...mine is bigger than me now.

LaTeeDa

I know what you mean. Mine are 16 and 12 now. It seems like just yesterday they were "singing in their own language." They really do grow up so fast.

(((bearfeet))) (((babybearfeet)))

L

Still Waters

They do LTD, they really do. I don't even have any friends with little ones...or family.

Someone have babies darnit!

bearfeet

I'd love to imagine that one day not far away I will be able to take Myself and Baby Bearfeet on a long trip, if I do I'll be coming to visit you guys and she will give you a big squishy cuddle and sing a totally made up song for you! Until then sending you hugs. xcxcxcxcxcxcxcxcxcxcxcxcxc

TakingCharge999

LOL Still waters
Yeeah bearfeet, you are welcome down here in sunny Mexico too
(((hugs to both bearfeet)))