Felt like I'd been hit by a bus for a minute....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: TX
Posts: 163
Felt like I'd been hit by a bus for a minute....
Still hurtin' a little bit, but it's not so bad.
I was informed this morning that someone saw my H with another woman at the flea market. Don't know when....didn't ask. I think the info knocked the breath out of me and I was distracted for a good hour....cried a few tears....talked about it a little.
I don't want him. Trying to get my needs met by STBX is like going to Home Depot for bread.
I KNOW THIS.
I've been out on a date as well with a guy I went to 2nd-12th grade with....super nice guy who wants more and I just can't do that right now. We communicate several times a day and I'm ready to bail....not because of him, because of me. I'm not healed. I still love a sorry sack of sh!t even though I know he's not good for me or for my children. Even though I will never, ever be with him again....it hurt. I know what that poor, unsuspecting woman has to look forward to. He is an active alcoholic, he's jealous and insecure, his health is giving him issues in a romantic way, and he's abusive - emotionally, verbally, physically, he can't keep a job and he's a poor excuse of a parent.
I'll get past it. I've come a long way. I'm going to counseling. I'm taking care of me. I'm taking care of my kids.
Today, I am going to listen to Joel Osteen's CD series, "Dare to Believe," as I do my work.
Interestingly enough, I found another of my friends on Facebook who was in a horrible marriage 2+ years ago. I'm not sure he was abusive but he was a drunk, and he was neglectful. She is now happily married to the man she met when she divorced her ex. Her current husband has a pic of the day he proposed in Dublin on St. Paddy's Day last year with a caption that reads something about the day he proposed to his best friend.
I want, and for Christ's sake, I DESERVE that....I deserve to have a man love and respect and cherish me. For now, I'll do all of those things for myself by continuing to move forward....just need to find that faith right now...it's a bit shattered at the moment.
Sunny
I was informed this morning that someone saw my H with another woman at the flea market. Don't know when....didn't ask. I think the info knocked the breath out of me and I was distracted for a good hour....cried a few tears....talked about it a little.
I don't want him. Trying to get my needs met by STBX is like going to Home Depot for bread.
I KNOW THIS.
I've been out on a date as well with a guy I went to 2nd-12th grade with....super nice guy who wants more and I just can't do that right now. We communicate several times a day and I'm ready to bail....not because of him, because of me. I'm not healed. I still love a sorry sack of sh!t even though I know he's not good for me or for my children. Even though I will never, ever be with him again....it hurt. I know what that poor, unsuspecting woman has to look forward to. He is an active alcoholic, he's jealous and insecure, his health is giving him issues in a romantic way, and he's abusive - emotionally, verbally, physically, he can't keep a job and he's a poor excuse of a parent.
I'll get past it. I've come a long way. I'm going to counseling. I'm taking care of me. I'm taking care of my kids.
Today, I am going to listen to Joel Osteen's CD series, "Dare to Believe," as I do my work.
Interestingly enough, I found another of my friends on Facebook who was in a horrible marriage 2+ years ago. I'm not sure he was abusive but he was a drunk, and he was neglectful. She is now happily married to the man she met when she divorced her ex. Her current husband has a pic of the day he proposed in Dublin on St. Paddy's Day last year with a caption that reads something about the day he proposed to his best friend.
I want, and for Christ's sake, I DESERVE that....I deserve to have a man love and respect and cherish me. For now, I'll do all of those things for myself by continuing to move forward....just need to find that faith right now...it's a bit shattered at the moment.
Sunny
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Mobile AL
Posts: 101
Sunny,
I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you.
Reading your post made me realize that I AM NOT ALONE. I am not the only sunflower waiting to bloom fully and be cherished by the sun.
You don't deserve better, you deserve THE BEST.
Never settle for a crumb when you can have the whole damn loaf.
Kind regards,
K
I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you.
Reading your post made me realize that I AM NOT ALONE. I am not the only sunflower waiting to bloom fully and be cherished by the sun.
You don't deserve better, you deserve THE BEST.
Never settle for a crumb when you can have the whole damn loaf.
Kind regards,
K
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
I know what it's like to have the wind knocked out of you when you're trying to rebuild your life. It's like a sucker punch out of the blue.
Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, hon. Keep working on self. You will get there, and I promise, God has wondrous things in store for you. :ghug :ghug
Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, hon. Keep working on self. You will get there, and I promise, God has wondrous things in store for you. :ghug :ghug
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: florida
Posts: 269
sorry to hear how things are going for you
i know how you feel seeing your friend happily remarried, i have a cousin who had a jerk for a husband, she was so unhappy when he first left, shortly after he left she met her now husband , shes about to have another baby, at 38, shes totally happy , her ex husband is basically kicking hisself in the butt for losing her, he thought she would always put up with him and take him back, now shes totally happy with a new life and new love
makes me jealous, i keep waiting for that to happen to me (not the kid part, dont want anymore of those) but to find a man like that
i know how you feel seeing your friend happily remarried, i have a cousin who had a jerk for a husband, she was so unhappy when he first left, shortly after he left she met her now husband , shes about to have another baby, at 38, shes totally happy , her ex husband is basically kicking hisself in the butt for losing her, he thought she would always put up with him and take him back, now shes totally happy with a new life and new love
makes me jealous, i keep waiting for that to happen to me (not the kid part, dont want anymore of those) but to find a man like that
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Africa
Posts: 65
Sunflower, I can imagine how you must feel. I live in fear of hearing my AH has been seen with another woman. But I know I will get through it, and so will you. Baby steps! And breeeeaaaathe! This too shall pass.
It helps me so much to read these posts and know that others are struggling with similar emotions and getting through them. X
It helps me so much to read these posts and know that others are struggling with similar emotions and getting through them. X
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