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first step to recovery

Old 03-14-2009, 05:15 AM
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first step to recovery

well, i am now in america at my mother's. i plan to attend my first alanon meeting today. my mom looked up where they were nearby and said she would take me. there is an old bike in the basement i'll have to get up and running so i can cycle there.

ABF is treating this like my holiday. i explained to him that this wasn't a holiday, that i felt unsafe in our home and that is why i left. i told him that i was not willing to be in our relationship as long as he was drinking and working at the pub. he said he didn't have a drinking problem. he also said he was keeping his job at the pub.

he is not taking me seriously at all, even laughing. i guess it doesn't matter. i have 5 weeks to get my head on straight before i see him again.
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Old 03-14-2009, 05:55 AM
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Welcome to the US of A! I hope your time will be decompressing, and healing, and that you meet some really neat folks at Alanon.

The format of 12 step meetings can feel very strange, and foreign, and almost cold, at first, so be prepared to go to several, and perhaps different ones, to find out the different flavors. You don't need to speak, but if you do, you will often get folks speaking their experience, strength, and hope back about their situations and how they have coped, much like SR.

I hope you enjoy time with your mother, too, as life is very short, and the people we love love time with us!

Let us know how your meeting went, and don't be afraid to take that phone list at the Alanon meeting and call folks to get to know them better. If you think of the coming weeks as a new career in healing yourself, and work diligently with that mindset, you will experience phenomenal personal growth and strengthening!

Welcome again!

CLMI
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Old 03-14-2009, 05:55 AM
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Welcome to the US! {hugs}

I hope you time here allows you to gain strength and clarity about what you need to do.
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Old 03-14-2009, 07:00 AM
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Your ABF sounds like my AH -- even though he has had all the experiences he has had (dui's, jail, financial problems, blackouts etc) he is still in denial that he has a problem. That was definitely a deal breaker for me -- he can't even admit it so I'm wasting no more time to only be handed the same old same old for the rest of my life.

I'm so glad that you're out of the situation Naive and have some time to rest, visit with your loved ones, have some peace and to work on yourself.

Laurie
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Old 03-14-2009, 02:27 PM
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Hey sweetie, let us know how you like the meeting. I cried all the way my first few, but there is such a sense of peace. I'm so glad you're getting the opportunity to go!!
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Old 03-15-2009, 05:53 AM
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thanks for the support everyone. well, i went to my first meeting yesterday. i didn't really get much out of it. people seemed to focus on tiny little things about themselves, for their self-improvement. i felt rather outofplace with my whole life in a tornado. i guess the program is about how we manage our reactions. i'm going to go to a different one today. will report back.
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Old 03-15-2009, 07:31 AM
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Give the meetings some time, Naive! :ghug :ghug

Sometimes it takes a little 'shopping around' to find one that fits you.
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