tallulah

I am typing this with one hand..

I have told you before about troubles with the A (recovering).

Tonight the A threw a glass at me. It shattered and cut above my eye, my right cheek and cut very deeply my left hand just below my thumb. I must have raised my hand to shield myself.

I have just got out of the Emergency Room. I have to go back in 4 hours and see a plastic surgeon. It looks like the tendon in my thumb has been severed.

The police came as routine with the ambulance. They have arrested the A and he is now in a cell and will be questioned tomorrow.

I am.. I don't know what I am.

tallulah

I am in pieces..

Midas

Oh my Gosh! Don't come unglued. I know that's what I feel like doing right now.

ANGELINA243

You are not alone. Lifting you up in prayer....

tallulah

thank you...

I feel guilty.. that he has been arrested..

Kimmieh

tallulah, I am so sorry this happened. Please do not feel guilty because you are not guilty. I don't think you put the glass into his hand and asked him to throw it. No healthy person throws a glass (or anything but a pillow in good fun perhaps) at a person! I am sorry you got injured and it's good to know you got medical care and are in good hands.

I know it's hard, but focus on you now. Can you get together with someone? Friends or family or a counselor at the hospital? Be good to yourself. You have to heal now (physically and emotionally) and how he deals with his imprisonment is entirely his problem and not yours. Please be safe! :ghug3

sosickofcycle

That poopy face! I can't believe him! He needs to get some control over himself! Unbelievable!

Ago

Oh My....

You aren't getting out a moment too soon

:ghug3

That right there is our insanity, and I emphasize "our", these folks do incredibly hurtful things to us and we make excuses for them, spend half the time telling others how badly they hurt us, then spend the other half explaining why, how they were abused as children, have problems with alcohol etc.

The Man put you in the hospital.

take a look at that statement.

That Man put you in the hospital.

then read:
He put you in the hospital ...your job isn't to feel guilty, your job is to get the F*ck out and protect yourself from this ever happening again.

tallulah

I pressed his buttons...

I have contacted my brother and an al-anon friend.. a domestic violence person is contacting me in the morning..

tallulah

I will have to have my thumb reconstructed.. I understand what you are saying.. but I feel like I should have walked away...

Ago

That's what jails are for ultimately, is to gain control over people that have no control over themselves, jails aren't just for "punishment" they are there to keep harmful people from hurting others in society.

Men who are able to have control over themselves don't put women in hospitals.

I had time to work this out myself...in jail, never for hurting a woman, but hopefully he'll have some time to think about these things while he's there.

Tallulah, don't let him off, he threw that glass at you, press charges, they will put him in an anger management class, you may save the next vict...ummm....womans life.

Seriously

tallulah

I'm in the UK... it might not be my choice.. if they have enough to charge him with they will..

tallulah

I loved him. How could he do this to me?

I have just looked at my face. I will have scars.

Tarheel

T,

I think it's morning there. You haven't slept. You've been through a terrible trauma - physical and emotional. Try to eat something small and sleep as much as you're able. First things first - that means your basic health. Then you can "make decisions" about the rest. First things first...

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

:ghug3
Huge hug from here...

TH

tallulah

it is morning here.. I haven't slept or eaten. I got to the emergency room at 1:30 this morning. I got back to the house at 5:35. I have to be back at the hospital to see the surgeon at 9:30. I can't sleep. I am afraid I will not wake up in time and my head isn't quiet. I can't eat I feel sick with the pain from my hand and the disbelief.

I will feel better when I know the full extent of the damage to my hand. It is bad.. I know that.. but I'll feel better when I know for sure the damage.

I'm also worried.. what happens when he gets out.

Thank you so much for the hugs. I need them.

bookwyrm

Nothing you did can justify his actions, nothing. You are not to blame for what he did. You didn't 'make him' get violent, he did that all by himself. Just like you cannot make him stop drinking or even make him drink. He is an adult and adults have to be held accountable for their own actions. Instead of dealing with the situation in a responsible manner, he decided to lose his temper. He decided to throw something at you like a small child having a tantrum. He decided to intimidate you with violence. You had no say in any of these decisions.

Wow, I'm so angry for you! My AH didn't hurt me as badly as he has hurt you but, just before he finally left, he too started throwing stuff and getting physical. Think I've just realised how scared and damned angry I was/am about it...

Honey, I hope your hand is repairable and the surgeon gave you good news this morning. I hope you get the advice and help you need from the domestic violence counsellor. Take good care of yourself. You deserve so much better than this. :ghug3

Glenna9802

OMG sweetheart...I want to cross the ocean and give you a great big hug.

We wrote before about how he hated the fact that he was losing control. Now he is out of control. Write this one off as life experience and STAY AWAY!!!

No person has the right to physically harm you, and if he does he has lost the right to be in your life or have your love.

You have gone with your gut instinct before, and it has served you well. What is it telling you now?

Lots of love to you. You will be in my prayers.

naive

tallulah-

it is quite dangerous to throw a glass at someone. you are lucky that it didn't hit your eye. my boyfriend threw a knife into the wall next to me once. i had and still have a hard time processing the seriousness of that situation. i guess because we still hope that they will "come around", we sometimes are a bit blinded. at least i am.

i feel some concern that you two are still living together...i'm wondering if there is somewhere you can go when/if he is released? a friend's house? or perhaps they will keep him until his court?

please let us know how you are...
from the safety of my mom's house,
naive

Freedom1990

My heart hurts for you, hon. :ghug :ghug :ghug

Seren

How he could do this to you is: He is a sick man.

How you continue to put up with this is about you and how you relate to people.

I"m soooooo relieved that it did not get worse!!!! (((((((T)))))))

Please take care of yourself! Please know that you don't have to put up with this! YOU DO NOT DESERVE THIS! No one does!!!

Please let us know what the surgeon says!

Hugs and good thoughts, HG