ItsmeAlice

You put your left foot in - you take your left foot out - you put your left foot in - and you shake it all about...

AAAAHHHHH!

I just had the conversational equivalent of the hokey pokey with my ABF, and I am absolutely marveling at the fact that not only did I not lose my mind, but I actually found his mental gymnastics amusing and even told him so.

The other night he was called out to a neighbor's farm to help deliver a foal. The mare was having difficulty giving birth and my ABF ended up taking her to a local hospital. The farm owner came by tonight to thank my ABF in person for his efforts and brought him a case of Guiness as a thank you.

When I asked him who came to the door earlier, he sheepishly told me who it was but hesitated to tell me why he came by. Of course, that piqued my interest, and I inquired further. He said, "Now, don't get mad, but he gave me a case of Guiness for helping out." He repeated several times that I shouldn't get mad at the neighbor over it.

I tried not to, but I let out a gaffaw as I started to leave the room. He wanted to know what I thought was so funny. I decided, right then, to take a gulp of air and dive in. Since I stopped engaging in the quacking, we haven't talked about his drinking. It's been months.

I decided to try to lead him to a point where he had to admit what the REAL problem is. I wanted him to get to the point where he admitted it wasn't the beer that's the problem. It's how he treats me.

He would almost get there. You could see it on his face. He would answer my question then realize where the conversation was going, get angry, and then go right back to the last instance where something wasn't his fault, namely the neighbor bringing over the beer.

You put your right arm in, you put your right arm out....

"Why do you think I would be mad at the neighbor?"
- For giving me beer.
"He's just thanking you. Why would I care if the neighbor wanted to give you beer?"
- Because you don't want me to have it.
"Why would I care if you have beer?"
-It's not my fault, he just brought it over.

Can't you just hear the music.

"I know that. I asked you why should I care if you have beer?"
- Because you think I drink too much. I only had three beers tonight, and this is my fourth one and..."
"Do you think you drink too much?"
- Maybe, but....
"Why should I care if you have beer?"
- Am I just supposed to throw it away. He wanted me to have it.

At this point I had the giggles.

"Why should I care if you have beer?"
- Because I'm obnoxious sometimes when I drink.
"It's a little worse than that, but okay. Why would that be a problem?"

You could really see the hamster running in its wheel on this one. Then his face got red and he said,
- Do you want me to take the beer back or what?

...and that's what it's all about!

I smiled and told him to keep the beer if he felt like it. I told him I just wanted to make my point that I don't care if he drinks himself stupid, but I do care how he treats me and our pets. I did tell him that I am aware of his drinking patterns and that there are no excuses with me anymore. I've heard them all. I told him if the roles were reversed, he'd know what I was talking about. I left him to ponder things for a bit and went to make dinner. He was quiet when I returned but suprisingly not angry.

We will see what effect this has on him over the weekend. He had already stocked up before his gift arrived, so it will be interesting to see how he handles things.

Now I have an opening on my dance card...Hmmm.. how's your hula?

AbsentFriend

This is the music I heard in my head when I read this:

You... change your mind
Like a girl... changes clothes
Yeah you... PMS
Like a bitch... I would know
And you ... over think
Always speak ... cryptically
I should know ... that you're no good for me!

'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

(You) You don't really want to stay, no
(You) But you don't really want to go
You're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down

. . . . . .

We... used to be
Just like twins... so in sync
The same... energy
Now's a dead... battery
Used to laugh... 'bout nothing
Now your plain... boring
I should know... that you're not gonna change!

'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

(You) You don't really want to stay, no
(You) But you don't really want to go
You're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down

. . . . . .

Someone... call the doctor
Got a case of love bi-polar
Stuck on a... roller coaster
Can't get of this ride.

You... change your mind
Like a girl... changes clothes...

'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

You're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

(You) You don't really want to stay, no
(You) But you don't really want to go
You're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down

~ Katy Perry, "Hot N Cold"