Worried Sick About His Drinking?
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Worried Sick About His Drinking?
Worried Sick About His Drinking?
Alcoholism("alcohol dependence" in the official diagnostic language) is a serious, chronic, usually progressive mental and physical illness characterized by:
Excessive consumption of alcohol and often other drugs
Inability reliably to control the quantity of alcohol consumed and the duration of drinking
Continued attempts to drink despite increasingly severe negative consequences
Loss or impairment of insight with denial, rationalization, blaming others
The non-alcoholic spouse of the drinking alcoholic is often exposed over a long period of time, continuously or intermittently, to the destructive effects of the alcoholic's drinking, thinking and behavior. The result of this prolonged exposure to active alcoholic addiction may be(and often is) a spousal alcohol syndrome characterized by:
Chronic activation of the fight-or-flight stress response with resulting physical symptoms and/or exhaustion
Confusion, bewilderment, fear, anxiety, depression, anger, despair, shame, guilt and other negative emotions
Learned helplessness and demoralization, feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, self-blame
Progressive social and psychological isolation, withdrawal from friends and family
The wife of the drinking alcoholic believes herself to be in a troubled relationship with the person who drinks too much. But, at least in the more advanced cases, she is actually in a relationship with the addictive process itself. And because the single and absolute goal of the addiction itself is sheer survival of the addiction, no matter how high the human costs may be, her emotional involvement and influence are hopelessly one-sided. Addiction is a natural, biological and fundamentally inhuman process that responds poorly, if at all, to common sense measures aimed at ordinary human rationality, compassion and concern.
The first step to an effective coping strategy is an accurate understanding of the problems being faced. Because most people are not acquainted with the true nature of alcoholism and other addictions, they therefore attempt to cope with such problems, either in themselves or in those close to them, in a manner that is either ineffective or actually injurious to the healthy goals they desperately desire.
Perhaps nowhere else in human relationships is Francis Bacon's famous observation that "Knowledge is power" more apt. For those who understand alcoholism and addiction are in a position to do something about one of humanity's oldest and commonest scourges; but those whose understanding of such matters is false or incomplete are destined to remained helpless victims of its blind and terrible destructive energies.
Alcoholism("alcohol dependence" in the official diagnostic language) is a serious, chronic, usually progressive mental and physical illness characterized by:
Excessive consumption of alcohol and often other drugs
Inability reliably to control the quantity of alcohol consumed and the duration of drinking
Continued attempts to drink despite increasingly severe negative consequences
Loss or impairment of insight with denial, rationalization, blaming others
The non-alcoholic spouse of the drinking alcoholic is often exposed over a long period of time, continuously or intermittently, to the destructive effects of the alcoholic's drinking, thinking and behavior. The result of this prolonged exposure to active alcoholic addiction may be(and often is) a spousal alcohol syndrome characterized by:
Chronic activation of the fight-or-flight stress response with resulting physical symptoms and/or exhaustion
Confusion, bewilderment, fear, anxiety, depression, anger, despair, shame, guilt and other negative emotions
Learned helplessness and demoralization, feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, self-blame
Progressive social and psychological isolation, withdrawal from friends and family
The wife of the drinking alcoholic believes herself to be in a troubled relationship with the person who drinks too much. But, at least in the more advanced cases, she is actually in a relationship with the addictive process itself. And because the single and absolute goal of the addiction itself is sheer survival of the addiction, no matter how high the human costs may be, her emotional involvement and influence are hopelessly one-sided. Addiction is a natural, biological and fundamentally inhuman process that responds poorly, if at all, to common sense measures aimed at ordinary human rationality, compassion and concern.
The first step to an effective coping strategy is an accurate understanding of the problems being faced. Because most people are not acquainted with the true nature of alcoholism and other addictions, they therefore attempt to cope with such problems, either in themselves or in those close to them, in a manner that is either ineffective or actually injurious to the healthy goals they desperately desire.
Perhaps nowhere else in human relationships is Francis Bacon's famous observation that "Knowledge is power" more apt. For those who understand alcoholism and addiction are in a position to do something about one of humanity's oldest and commonest scourges; but those whose understanding of such matters is false or incomplete are destined to remained helpless victims of its blind and terrible destructive energies.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: phila, pa
Posts: 231
Dear MG,
This is really helpful.
Please keep going with more info.
My husband and I are dealing w/ a newly recovering (3wks) son who is attending meetings daily but now is playing w/ fire by gambling. He did bring it up at his meeting (he says) but I am exhausted because of the incessant worry. I think I need an alanon meeting and will probably go Sun .
thank you!
Mamabear
This is really helpful.
Please keep going with more info.
My husband and I are dealing w/ a newly recovering (3wks) son who is attending meetings daily but now is playing w/ fire by gambling. He did bring it up at his meeting (he says) but I am exhausted because of the incessant worry. I think I need an alanon meeting and will probably go Sun .
thank you!
Mamabear
Queen of one liners
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: walking beside you! Not in front of you.
Posts: 658
Quote;
Addiction is a natural, biological, and fundamentally inhuman process that responds poorly, if at all, to common sense measures aimed at ordinary human rationality, compassion and concern.
WOW, If I really think about that one statement, it blows me away competely.
Now I know for sure why a spiritual program is nessary for my recovery....Thank God I never question the why of a 12 step program before.
Thank you for very much MG for a rather BIG AAA HAAAW this morning
Addiction is a natural, biological, and fundamentally inhuman process that responds poorly, if at all, to common sense measures aimed at ordinary human rationality, compassion and concern.
WOW, If I really think about that one statement, it blows me away competely.
Now I know for sure why a spiritual program is nessary for my recovery....Thank God I never question the why of a 12 step program before.
Thank you for very much MG for a rather BIG AAA HAAAW this morning
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