frustratedhusb

I need so help. My wife has started to drink again a few months ago. She has been sober for three years(everyone in her family has been in AA she did it on her own). I did not realize how much she was drinking until I cleaned out the den and tossed out all the empties. The next day I found more. This has started allot of fights and resentment.

I had a fight with her while we had a family vacation to the mountains. Mother-in-law and her uncle where there too. This stopped it for two weeks.

I came home early yesterday and found her in the bedroom and she was drinking again. Trying not to react while she was drunk I left and took care of a few things and took my son to cubscouts.

this morning she was drinking before I got up and the hid in our room while my Mom stopped by to visit the boys. I left to go to the store with my mom watching the boys. While i was gone my wife left. Se just got home after being gone for 9 hours plastered of course.

I disabled the car but after reading a little on the site Im wondering if Im enabling her? I don't want her to drive drunk.

What do I say with the boys? They know something is wrong.

lost and frustrated

lunarise

I am so sorry about your situation! :ghug3
I am glad that you are here, there is alot of support.
All I can say is make sure you care for yourself and your sons during this time....dealing with a spouse with an alcohol problem can be taxing as I am sure you know.

Could you get the family together and do an intervention?

I dont have much experience from your side but I wanted to let you know that I saw your post and Im thinking of your family.

naive

hi frustratedhusband-

i live with an alcoholic too. i've been here at SR not very long but i've had my eyes opened. one of the problems living with an A is the safety issue.

are your boys safe under her care?

does she smoke or cook drunk? burn candles?

good move disabling the car! i've done that too (i pull the fuses from the battery box)

naive

Freedom1990

Is this the kind of environment you want your boys being raised in?

Obviously her way of doing it on her own didn't work.

Children learn what they see.

frustratedhusb

Right now it is just hard to get here while she is sober. This morning she was already drinking around 6:30. I convinced her to let me have the boys because i did not want her to drive with them. She then walked out and disappeared for the rest of the morning.

As for the intervention I have been talking with her family and everyone want to help I just need ideas on what to say and do. I feel like it is spiraling out of control every minute.

The boys for the most part are safe. I have been lad off so I have been home. This frustrates me because I have been afraid to leave the house. What happens when I get back to work? She has no problem getting behind the wheel.

My concern is for the boys and finding the proper way to help.

aasharon90

My family did an intervention on me.

I had gone out the night before, came
home late as before and was confronted
by my husband....i didnt seem drunk to
him cause i hide that well....he was pissed
cause i was out late....not normal in his
eyes.

An arguement occured and then on a dare
i told him i should just leave this world
and then he wouldnt be pizzed at me anymore.

So i downed some pills with wine an off
to bed i went hoping that was it.

Next morning my 2 little children couldnt
wake me up.....before i knew it the authorities
were at the house to take me away.

I left angry, pizzed, ashamed..etc

What i later learned was my family
did for me what i couldnt do for myself.

They saved my life.

I spent 28 days in rehab with a 6 week
outpatiant aftercare program tact on.

I had the willingness to do whatever it
took to stay sober so i wouldnt be sent
out of state to a halfway house away
from my little ones.

And thats how it worked for me.

Sober as of 8-11-90.

kj3880

That isn't exactly what the original poster probably thinks of as a family intervention, so much as a suicide attempt and then an institutionalization and ensuing rehab, but I'm glad you got the help you needed, Sharon. I think he is considering something more like confronting the wife and asking her to go to rehab before it comes to this (hopefully).

Frustrated, I think you should have a pro. from the chosen rehab center consult with you before you do the intervention. They will assist you and some of them will even agree to come out with you to the home.

KJ