Facing the Emotional Rollercoaster
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Managua, Nicaragua
Posts: 135
Facing the Emotional Rollercoaster
Hi,
I had been in a relationship with my XABF for three years, we have a daughter together, she is almost 2.
He is a binge drinker, repeatedly cleans up, goes to AA, just to go back to the old party scene whenever an old buddy calls him up. He is financially irresponsible and has other children to take care of.
About a month ago I had asked him to take my car to the shop for me, he had been sober for a month or so, he took it drinking instead and wrecked. No one got hurt, but there was a lot of damage to my car and of course I am the one who has to pay for it. I yelled and screamed and demanded he sell something to help me pay for it, and finally he did. When he was handing over the $200 ( not close to the total amount) , I suddenly felt the old pangs like, "his other kids need the money more" and other thoughts along the same line were bouncing around in my head. I just smiled, said thanks and took the money. It was the first time he had ever actually given me money like that.
I felt so good about taking the money and him actually giving it to me, that I sent him a little email, just thanking him for doing the right thing and giving me the money. The he replied. I feel so jittery after reading his reply, such an adrenaline rush and not in a good way. I think I am almost trained to go directly into fight or flight mode when he contacts me. I erased the email he sent me, he said he wanted to talk and am planning to go about my life as if I had never gotten it. I am afraid of getting sucked back into the old drama.
Thanks for letting me share and letting me get rid of some of this nervous energy.
I had been in a relationship with my XABF for three years, we have a daughter together, she is almost 2.
He is a binge drinker, repeatedly cleans up, goes to AA, just to go back to the old party scene whenever an old buddy calls him up. He is financially irresponsible and has other children to take care of.
About a month ago I had asked him to take my car to the shop for me, he had been sober for a month or so, he took it drinking instead and wrecked. No one got hurt, but there was a lot of damage to my car and of course I am the one who has to pay for it. I yelled and screamed and demanded he sell something to help me pay for it, and finally he did. When he was handing over the $200 ( not close to the total amount) , I suddenly felt the old pangs like, "his other kids need the money more" and other thoughts along the same line were bouncing around in my head. I just smiled, said thanks and took the money. It was the first time he had ever actually given me money like that.
I felt so good about taking the money and him actually giving it to me, that I sent him a little email, just thanking him for doing the right thing and giving me the money. The he replied. I feel so jittery after reading his reply, such an adrenaline rush and not in a good way. I think I am almost trained to go directly into fight or flight mode when he contacts me. I erased the email he sent me, he said he wanted to talk and am planning to go about my life as if I had never gotten it. I am afraid of getting sucked back into the old drama.
Thanks for letting me share and letting me get rid of some of this nervous energy.
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