New here...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 4
New here...
Hi,
This is my first time posting here. I am in a relationship with an alcoholic and have been too afraid to find support and get help. I am at the point in my relationship where I don't know what to do anymore. I have looked at going to Al Anon meetings in my area, but I have also been too afraid to attend a meeting by myself. Also, I am afraid my boyfriend would find out and get upset.
Not only is my boyfriend struggling with his drinking, but my mother has developed a drinking problem in the last few years. It is really hard to watch the people I care about the most drink so much.
I hope I can find people who can help me through my situation.
Sarah
This is my first time posting here. I am in a relationship with an alcoholic and have been too afraid to find support and get help. I am at the point in my relationship where I don't know what to do anymore. I have looked at going to Al Anon meetings in my area, but I have also been too afraid to attend a meeting by myself. Also, I am afraid my boyfriend would find out and get upset.
Not only is my boyfriend struggling with his drinking, but my mother has developed a drinking problem in the last few years. It is really hard to watch the people I care about the most drink so much.
I hope I can find people who can help me through my situation.
Sarah
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Welcome to the SR family!
We are glad you are here. You will find lots of support and information. The sticky posts at the top of this section contain a wealth of information from members who have "been there and done that".
I have just started attending Al-anon meetings in the past month. I was scared to go to my first meeting. I survived, tho. I did not speak my first few visits other than to say Hi. After my second meeting, I decided I really liked Alanon and would keep going back. You know what cinched the deal for me? Hugs from people who didn't smell like booze!
Make yourself at home here!
We are glad you are here. You will find lots of support and information. The sticky posts at the top of this section contain a wealth of information from members who have "been there and done that".
I have just started attending Al-anon meetings in the past month. I was scared to go to my first meeting. I survived, tho. I did not speak my first few visits other than to say Hi. After my second meeting, I decided I really liked Alanon and would keep going back. You know what cinched the deal for me? Hugs from people who didn't smell like booze!
Make yourself at home here!
"Taking the risk to blossom"
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: a little piece of heaven! Ontario Canada
Posts: 245
Welcome! I'm glad that you have found SR.
I'm fairly new here as well and I can tell you, it's been life changing. I admire and respect everyone who posts and have learned so very much -- I am very grateful.
I haven't got myself to any face to face meetings with Alanon yet but did attend a number of years ago. I was terrified to go to the first meeting. The relief I felt after being there was substantial. They were all kind, welcoming and most of all, knew what I was going through. Truly, to me, there is nothing more soothing to know that I'm not alone in this.
I'm glad you're here, keep coming back. It helps beyond words.
Laurie
I'm fairly new here as well and I can tell you, it's been life changing. I admire and respect everyone who posts and have learned so very much -- I am very grateful.
I haven't got myself to any face to face meetings with Alanon yet but did attend a number of years ago. I was terrified to go to the first meeting. The relief I felt after being there was substantial. They were all kind, welcoming and most of all, knew what I was going through. Truly, to me, there is nothing more soothing to know that I'm not alone in this.
I'm glad you're here, keep coming back. It helps beyond words.
Laurie
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Originally Posted by niceandsloow 
Hi,
This is my first time posting here. I am in a relationship with an alcoholic and have been too afraid to find support and get help. I am at the point in my relationship where I don't know what to do anymore. I have looked at going to Al Anon meetings in my area, but I have also been too afraid to attend a meeting by myself. Also, I am afraid my boyfriend would find out and get upset.
Not only is my boyfriend struggling with his drinking, but my mother has developed a drinking problem in the last few years. It is really hard to watch the people I care about the most drink so much.
I hope I can find people who can help me through my situation.
Sarah
This is my first time posting here. I am in a relationship with an alcoholic and have been too afraid to find support and get help. I am at the point in my relationship where I don't know what to do anymore. I have looked at going to Al Anon meetings in my area, but I have also been too afraid to attend a meeting by myself. Also, I am afraid my boyfriend would find out and get upset.
Not only is my boyfriend struggling with his drinking, but my mother has developed a drinking problem in the last few years. It is really hard to watch the people I care about the most drink so much.
I hope I can find people who can help me through my situation.
Sarah
Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support-and wisdom-here.
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
You have a lot of fear.
What is that all about?
There is nothing scary about al-anon...unless you are afraid of change.
Give it a try. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
Al-anon is about changing what we can...that is directing the focus on ourselves
and determining what we must do to find serenity, peace and a life that works.
Welcome! May you develop the courage to make changes.
What is that all about?
There is nothing scary about al-anon...unless you are afraid of change.
Give it a try. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
Al-anon is about changing what we can...that is directing the focus on ourselves
and determining what we must do to find serenity, peace and a life that works.
Welcome! May you develop the courage to make changes.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 4
Originally Posted by Spiritual Seeker
You have a lot of fear.
What is that all about?
There is nothing scary about al-anon...unless you are afraid of change.
Give it a try. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
Al-anon is about changing what we can...that is directing the focus on ourselves
and determining what we must do to find serenity, peace and a life that works.
Welcome! May you develop the courage to make changes.
What is that all about?
There is nothing scary about al-anon...unless you are afraid of change.
Give it a try. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
Al-anon is about changing what we can...that is directing the focus on ourselves
and determining what we must do to find serenity, peace and a life that works.
Welcome! May you develop the courage to make changes.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Originally Posted by niceandsloow
I don't think it is that I am afraid of change. I am just very shy and not comfortable in large groups especially in a new situation.
This may or may not help, but 95% of the participants are women, in my experience anyways.
When Pigs Fly
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: california
Posts: 894
You should have seen me at my first meeting, I was so affraid, but I went and man what a relief, I broke down at my meeting( it is a very large one at least 35 people) I let it all out, I made a mess of my make up! You know what happened? Lots and lots of hugs and understanding. I have learned sooooooo much with allanon and this site, I'm a new woman.
Welcome I too hope you find the help you need!
Welcome I too hope you find the help you need!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: London, UK
Posts: 927
Hi niceandsloow...
Welcome. I'm glad you've found SR and hope you keep coming back.
Today I am going to my 9th face-to-face meeting of Al-Anon. I go to two a week in different areas of the city. One is quite small and intimate and was the first one I stepped in to. The one I am going to today is larger and can be anything from 20 to 50 people. But tbh the size of the meeting didn't matter. Not when taking the first step. It could have been a room of 1 or 100 the difficulty was still the same.
The day I decided I had to (not wanted to but had to) attend Al-Anon was the day after I had hit my rock bottom. I was at dis-ease and I could not understand why. I just wanted to run away.. from my home, my partner, my life absolutely everything.. crawl into a hole and disappear. My life (such as it had become) was unmanageable. I couldn't go on like it anymore. My options were stark: get help or die.
So I chose help. I walked into the rooms not knowing whether I was in the right place, or what happened there, who I would see there etc. I was like a child taking first steps. I walked in and burst into tears. And remained in tears for practically the whole meeting. My head down, my words mumbled and disjointed.
But OMG the relief. The relief that I wasn't crazy. The relief that I wasn't a bad person: just in a bad place. The relief that everything I had gone through for the past 2 1/2 years was not uncommon. I came out of those rooms and had the best nights sleep I have had in a little over a year. The warmth I felt, the strength and courage was like a blanket that enveloped me... and still does.
It's hard. I understand. Getting yourself there. But imo that is the hardest part of recovery... admitting you need help and seeking it .. but it is also the most courageous part.
I hope you find the courage to do what you need. You are in my thoughts.. :ghug
Welcome. I'm glad you've found SR and hope you keep coming back.
Today I am going to my 9th face-to-face meeting of Al-Anon. I go to two a week in different areas of the city. One is quite small and intimate and was the first one I stepped in to. The one I am going to today is larger and can be anything from 20 to 50 people. But tbh the size of the meeting didn't matter. Not when taking the first step. It could have been a room of 1 or 100 the difficulty was still the same.
The day I decided I had to (not wanted to but had to) attend Al-Anon was the day after I had hit my rock bottom. I was at dis-ease and I could not understand why. I just wanted to run away.. from my home, my partner, my life absolutely everything.. crawl into a hole and disappear. My life (such as it had become) was unmanageable. I couldn't go on like it anymore. My options were stark: get help or die.
So I chose help. I walked into the rooms not knowing whether I was in the right place, or what happened there, who I would see there etc. I was like a child taking first steps. I walked in and burst into tears. And remained in tears for practically the whole meeting. My head down, my words mumbled and disjointed.
But OMG the relief. The relief that I wasn't crazy. The relief that I wasn't a bad person: just in a bad place. The relief that everything I had gone through for the past 2 1/2 years was not uncommon. I came out of those rooms and had the best nights sleep I have had in a little over a year. The warmth I felt, the strength and courage was like a blanket that enveloped me... and still does.
It's hard. I understand. Getting yourself there. But imo that is the hardest part of recovery... admitting you need help and seeking it .. but it is also the most courageous part.
I hope you find the courage to do what you need. You are in my thoughts.. :ghug
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