I left AH tonight
"Taking the risk to blossom"
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: a little piece of heaven! Ontario Canada
Posts: 245
(((((((Glenna))))))))) Take some deep breathes when you feel really anxious. In through the nose, out through the mouth -- at least 10 times.
I have to be stronger than ever before and worry about myself and let him take care of himself.
Yes, you do!
I agree with everyone here -- you are doing so well and are showing real ownership for your well being and that of your child. My A has been gone two weeks today and I already feel and look better. Hang on!
I'm scared of him, and I'm scared for him
I was so scared when I started detaching from my husband -- he had said himself that he was scared of what would happen to him without me. But it was happening with me any way. And you know what, he's fine. He's taking care of himself so far. And he has stepped up to the plate for me in different ways as well.
It's the I'm scared OF him that you need to concentrate on.
Just easy does it and breathe. We're so proud of you!
Laurie
I have to be stronger than ever before and worry about myself and let him take care of himself.
Yes, you do!
I agree with everyone here -- you are doing so well and are showing real ownership for your well being and that of your child. My A has been gone two weeks today and I already feel and look better. Hang on!
I'm scared of him, and I'm scared for him
I was so scared when I started detaching from my husband -- he had said himself that he was scared of what would happen to him without me. But it was happening with me any way. And you know what, he's fine. He's taking care of himself so far. And he has stepped up to the plate for me in different ways as well.
It's the I'm scared OF him that you need to concentrate on.
Just easy does it and breathe. We're so proud of you!
Laurie
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 113
Well done honey, good for you.
Of course you will be nervous, it's a change for you and the baby, it will take time to get used to. Look after yourself and baby, wrap yourself up in cotton wool.
How old is your baby by the way?
Take care
B
x
Of course you will be nervous, it's a change for you and the baby, it will take time to get used to. Look after yourself and baby, wrap yourself up in cotton wool.
How old is your baby by the way?
Take care
B
x
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: over the rainbow
Posts: 487
yep, when all else fails at the addict maintaining his supply or supplier they may even resort to intimidation (abuse). when you get scared or worried, breathe and remind yourself, I didn't CAUSE it, i cannot CONTROL it and I cannot cure it. - even if you don't feel that you are strong ask your HP to do for you what you cannot do for yourself...that's what your higher power is for-then Let it go...and believe that it is only going to get better. (((((glenna)))))
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
We're here for you Glenna, stay strong.
He got himself into this situation and REMEMBER: even though you were doing everything for him (because his choices had made him like a second child for you) he still felt the right to abuse you as much as he wanted. He has no respect for you. You are a tool to get what he wants: comfort, safety, money, a ride, booze.
DO NOT LISTEN TO THE MESSAGES. Too bad you can't post them on the Web.....we could help sort through them and categorize them for you:
1) mock-worried quacking
2) angry quacking
3) furious quacking
4) begging quacking
5) I-need-my-enabler quacking
6) manipulation - angry again
7) drunken threat quackety-quack-quack quacking
.......and so on
Get the feeling I've been through this before too? I had fifty-one messages one night. Fifty-one. And not a single one was worth listening too....just quack, quack, quack, me, me, me.
There is no problem you currently have that can't be solved by taking small, healthy steps in the right direction.
He got himself into this situation and REMEMBER: even though you were doing everything for him (because his choices had made him like a second child for you) he still felt the right to abuse you as much as he wanted. He has no respect for you. You are a tool to get what he wants: comfort, safety, money, a ride, booze.
DO NOT LISTEN TO THE MESSAGES. Too bad you can't post them on the Web.....we could help sort through them and categorize them for you:
1) mock-worried quacking
2) angry quacking
3) furious quacking
4) begging quacking
5) I-need-my-enabler quacking
6) manipulation - angry again
7) drunken threat quackety-quack-quack quacking
.......and so on
Get the feeling I've been through this before too? I had fifty-one messages one night. Fifty-one. And not a single one was worth listening too....just quack, quack, quack, me, me, me.There is no problem you currently have that can't be solved by taking small, healthy steps in the right direction.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Glenna, you have given yourself and that precious child the best gift of all!
I know you are scared, full of mixed emotions. You just keep putting one foot in front of the other and working your program like your life depends on it, because it does, hon!
I am so very proud of you, and what a bright and beautiful future you are giving your child and yourself! :ghug :ghug
I know you are scared, full of mixed emotions. You just keep putting one foot in front of the other and working your program like your life depends on it, because it does, hon!
I am so very proud of you, and what a bright and beautiful future you are giving your child and yourself! :ghug :ghug
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
I was thinking of you when I got up this morning. The weather is warm and the last of the snow is melting away.
I was thinking that it's a beautiful day to start over! I hope it is nice out where you are.
Keep posting and enjoy the supportive surroundings.
Alice
I was thinking that it's a beautiful day to start over! I hope it is nice out where you are.
Keep posting and enjoy the supportive surroundings.
Alice
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Wow Glenna!! I am so proud of you. That takes courage but the worst has already happened - "life" taking part on the very sad codependent-alcoholic dance.
Your baby may be too young to realize what is going on but after a few years he or she will be so grateful to you, for having left a damaging situation. You saved both of you a lot of harm and trouble, be sure of it.
You are the best!!!!! Hang in there and talk to all the sane people in your life, I agree with everyone here..
You'll be in my thoughts!!
After 5 months of leaving it has not been easy but today I can smile and feel SO GREAT, so although it does not seem like it now, wonderful moments will come after the storm subsides. Be sure of it, because you and your baby deserve it and you are working towards it!!
Place yourself in the hands of HP and all will be well!
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