Glenna9802

Well...it's been an interesting day.

This morning, I went to the Serenity Bookstore around the corner from my house that my sponsor sent me to so I could get the books to study with. It turned out that it was not just a bookstore, it was a really nice treatment center with inpatient and outpatient programs, etc.

Of course, the codie in me couldn't resist, so I went inside and asked if I could hear more about their programs. I sat down with the director of the center for about an hour, explained our situation and heard what he had to say. The program sounded wonderful, too good to be true. The director said that, since we live right up the street, a good program for AH (if he agreed) would be 10 days of detox/rehab inpatient followed by an intensive outpatient program, counseling, the works.

Of course, there was the cost, but the director said that they take county and state-funded health insurance (which AH has) and that they have payment assistance through donations and such.

Anyway, he gave me the brochures and literature and said that, if AH was interested, he could give him a tour of the facility on Tuesday and we could make a three-way call to the financial advisor and see what assistance was available to get started.

I sat in the parking lot for over an hour after that calling MY support system. I called my sponsor, my MIL, my friends. I really didn't want to be codie about it and run home and shove the pamphlets in his face and demand that he go. I just wanted to tell him what I had found out and let him take it from there.

So that's what I ended up doing, and AH actually heard me out and read the literature and pretty quickly agreed to go and talk to them on Tuesday. There was no fighting or anything. He said it was something he wanted to do. He even talked to his boss, who said no problem about the 10 days and that his job would be waiting for him.

So the reason I'm a nervous wreck is because I'm scared to death that we will get over there and something will go wrong and they won't take him for financial reasons or otherwise. The director really made it sound like something could be worked out, but I don't know if he was being straight with me or just trying to fill a bed. I'm terrified now that I have gotten AH's hopes up only to be disappointed.

Everything seemed to fall into place as far as both AH and my support groups. His MIL said she would take our daughter for the 10 days so I could work extra to make up for him not working, his job was totally accommodating and friends were supportive. It really would be the ideal situation. I'm just freaking out and can't calm myself down.

I don't even know what I'm asking you guys to help me with really. I guess any reassuring words, stories about rehab facilities or how I can prevent from being too controlling and codie in this situation (if I haven't already done that).

serenityqueen

I think it's natural for you to be feeling scared right now, like you said, wondering if this is too good to be true.

But at some point, you have to turn it over to God. If this is meant to be, it will happen. I really used to hate when people would tell me that, I wanted to control everything!!!!! But, at the same time, look at where my control got me! lol Usually in a bigger pile of sh*t than I was already in.

Just Pray and ask God, or whomever your HP may be, to give you the strength to not focus on this until Tuesday. Ask Him for the serenity that you are so desperately seeking.

Let Go and Let God.

Of course I'll keep you and your AH in my Prayers that this is the answer you have been seeking. Remember, everything happens for a reason. One of my favorite expressions is "Faith is Confidence in God When We Do Not Understand."

Have Faith!

Judy

Glenna9802

Oh God...please keep talking...I'm close to having a panic attack.

I'm terrified of building up my hopes, AH's hopes and our loved ones' hopes only to be terribly let down, and I would feel so ashamed of myself.

I want to turn this over to HP. I haven't learned that step yet (lol).

When I was at the bookstore, I got "Courage to Change" and "How Al-Anon Works." Any suggested reading in there for me? I will take anything at this point.

Angelic17

Dear Nervous Wreck, Worrying never helped a thing. It is all wasted energy. The laws of attraction are alway working, and if you think positively, positive things will happen. What you profess, is what you possess. So, wait and see what happens when you get there. Sounds like your husband is willing to get help for his problem, and I believe everything happens for a reason. So, if that program doesn't help him, another one will. God puts you where he wants you. We are all powerless. God is in control. Ask for what you want, and then visualize it in your mind. The law of attraction is very powerful. Good Luck, and let us all know how you make out. We are all routing for you and your husband. How wonderful for your daughter to have a sober Dad. I hope it all works out well for you. ......GOD BLESS....Angel

Barbara52

You have done all you possibly can. Will worrying or panicking or anything influence anything to come? Nope. All it will do is drive you bonkers. So decide if you want to go bonkers or not. If not, find your way to put your concerns and worries in the hands of your HP and let it go.

Glenna9802

Just called my sponsor because I couldn't get my anxiety under control. She said that to help get through the next couple of days, I should say the Serenity Prayer whenever I get that anxious feeling, so I am going to try.

You all are helping a lot, too. To be honest, based on nothing but my own fears, I was worried that I would get blasted here for trying to control the situation too much or that what I did this morning was really stupid. I am the first person always to beat up on myself.

It just feels like this small window of opportunity has opened up, and I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off before it closes.

Thank you for stopping me from having a full-blown panic attack. I swear I was on my way there. Please keep sharing--my eyes and ears are open.

Barbara52

Good advice!

Yes, but it is not YOUR opportunity nor do you control in any way whatsoever whether that window stays open, closes or goes away or anything else. Let it rest where it belongs, on your AH and with your HP.

Angelic17

Hey Nervous....Let go, and let GOD. All the worrying isn't going to get your husband admitted any faster. And like I said, if that's not the right place, it wont happen. If it is the right place, it will. Relax, your not in control of this one. You never were. I hope it all works out for you. I have a feeling it will. Life is not a race it's a journey . We will be waiting for the news. :praying with you and for you.....Angel

Glenna9802

Oh WOW!!!

I just picked up Courage to Change for the first time that I got at the bookstore today and opened it to today's date. It was all about turning things over to your Higher Power, just like you all are telling me to do right now.

timetogo

Whenever I feel panicky Glenna, which is often lol, I do some breathing and grounding exercises. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth -- 10 times at least. Into your belly. It sounds crazy, but I find it really helps. Keep doing what you're doing -- let go and let God, keep coming here, meetings -- whatever. I always try to remember that there is nothing I can do right now -- patience is so hard some times but try to stay positive and "breathe" until Tuesday.

Do something nice for you!
take care
Laurie

Daisy30

Going to meetings and doing my reading....I find that I get just what I need! Just when I need it My HP is in control