Hope
 

Today I spoke with a social worker and was asked if I would like the hospital staff to perform full code for my brother as he may not fully understand his current medical condition, long term alcohol abuse of ten high wiskey.His sister and I are the only family he has to speek for him ,she drinks too as did our mother, you see my brother has been told to stop or die at least three times before. I see no recovery for his current condition, no going home this time.....high amonia/ 10 liters oxygen CVNICU 3 weeks with complete liver failure...... so my question is this, when he starts bleeding in his throat or elsewhere internaly or has cardiac arrest.. should we full code

I answered your other post. My grandmother died due to drinking, it was her liver mostly, but her other organs where weakened. She was only 58. We did everything they told us to do and in the end her heart gave out because it was so weak. For me I would have to tell you that this is a personal matter. I'm not a nurse or have any medical background.

We recently went through something similar with my aunt who was 51 but she had in place a living will so we followed her wishes. I am so sorry. I just want you to know that once her CO2 level got to a certain point she never really came back. We knew that she didn't want life support. That would have been the only option when the smaller breathing treatments failed, but I think you are at that point already. I know I wasn't much help, but I wanted you to feel someone was here for you this morning... praying and trying to listen...

With you in spirit...

I am sorry that you are going through this tough situation.
I do not have any advice for you, but wanted you to know you are in my thoughts.

I was my mother's care giver during her final stages of cancer. I had to sign the "Do Not Resuscitate" order as I had medical power of attorney.

My heart was heavy. But I did have my siblings with me when it can time to honor her request.

Remember:
You did not cause this
You can not control this
You can not cure this

thank you for taking a moment to respond, I would think that no one person would ever want to be asked the life saving question or let them go. I quess I could have picked less abrasive words and more what would or coould someone do to understand.
hope your sunrise brightens your day

What your brother is doing to himself is his decision. Pelican is entirely correct.
For your own sake, do not take on guilt or remorse for his condition.
What you can do is talk to your brother and straight out ask him if he will give you or a sibling medical power of attorney, and what his wishes are if he becomes unresponsive. This is the best kind of love you can show- that you respect his wishes for his own medical care and that you are not hiding from his obvious horrible condition.
I was with my own brother in the final days of his battle with cancer. The last few days he was unresponsive and his wife and I took care of all his needs. As I drove home I prayed that God take his life soon, because his suffering was so great and his body was so thoroughly destroyed. The next day he died peacefully. And I thanked God for that.

It's ok to say no.

There doesn't seem to be much point to coding him, in all honestly. It would only prolong how long you are held hostage to his choices. This is not a statement of the value of life, but rather a practical statement.

You do not have to shoulder the guilt of the results of his choices. To choose to let the natural consequences play out in a manner that doesn't drag you down is not wrong, or selfish.

CLMI

Coding him will only prolong the inevitable. It will not fix his liver or the many complications that liver failure is now heaping upon his body. Allow him to die as peacefully as possible, as this may be the only dignity he has left. I'm an ICU nurse......I have seen many, many deaths - - and I give you this advice simply because that's what I would do if it were my family and that's what I would want done for me in the same situation.

Thank you all for the kindness in your shared thoughts I will play a song by Joe Henry and performed by Loudon Wainwright III & Joe Henry. the name of the song is
You Can't fail me now and if ever there was a great song for your soul the lyrics written are from the heart,so I hpe you all get a chance to listen
thank you all