Lilyflower

I think that generally speaking if it is causing issues in the marriage, drinking is a problem period.

Once I came to find recovery for myself I realised how unhealthy it was for me to keep myself thinking about his drinking, how much he drank, when he drank, whether he thought it was a problem. These questions, which I once did ask myself quite alot, kept me stuck in a place where I was enmeshed in HIM and completely disconnected from MYSELF.

For me, the way to a healthy mind body and spirit was to turn off from busying myself with concerns about him and start realising my choices and making those choices that lead me toward a happier existance.

Only that way I was sure I was no longer feeding my own addiction of codependency and fulling allowing both of us to take full responsibility for ourselves our life choices and our behaviours and actions.

Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

GiveLove

There's a Kurt Vonnegut novel where one of the characters b*tches about the way some people throw around the "I love yous" so much and so thickly that it doesn't mean a damn thing. He says it's like they carry around a roll of toilet paper with "I love you" printed on each square, and just tear one off and hand it to you.

Actions speak louder than words. And his actions stink.

Hang in there haze. You don't have to stay here forever.