I just figured out what HP means for me

Old 02-19-2009, 04:09 AM
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I just figured out what HP means for me

I'm feeling pretty amazing right now. As someone who doesn't believe in a Biblical explanation for a HP, I've been having a bit of trouble reconciling all of the HP stuff in alanon. The following has been rattling around in my head since some time yesterday, and it all started becoming very clear to me this morning, so when I got to work I opened up Notebook and started typing. I hope it's OK to share this.....I'm certainly not trying to convince anyone that my interpretation is the correct interpretation, but I feel like I need to share this with someone!

Higher Power/being open

maybe giving my life over to a higher power is more about just being open. Good things happen all the time, maybe if I'm open, instead of focusing on RAH's recovery or my own messed up head, I'll actually see the good things as they go flying past and take advantage of them. Like with alanon.....I was paying attention, the universe saw fit to put alanon in my path and I saw it and decided to check it out. Last summer when I was focused on AH's drinking and my own anxiety issues I wouldn't even consider alanon. So it's not that giving my life over to HP means that HP is paying specific attention to me and putting good things in my life....good things are all around me, it's up to me to give up trying to control everything so I can see the good things already there and actually take advantage of them.

Cuz as long as I'm trying so hard to control my life and everything in it, I'm not paying attention.....I'm trying to force my life to go a certain way, onto a certain path, and not seeing the blessings all around me that could be improving my life if I would just open my eyes and see them.

I'm having a damn epiphany here...I'm literally in tears

HP doesn't have to be God....I don't believe in anthropomorphising the power of the universe like that....and maybe it's not even that it's a sensient HP that sees me as an individual and focuses on me....cuz lets face it, I'm not that significant in the universe really. The universe is full of natural powers, like gravity and magenetism, that just are, they aren't sensient or intelligent, but they are powerful.....I feel the same way about the power of the universe.....

but I have to be paying attention. Natural forces will bring things into my life for reasons, to help me be better, but I have to be watching for them and willing and able to let them into my life when they come.

I feel so light and full all at the same time.....today I will be open to whatever the forces of the universe bring my way. Today I feel brand new!

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Old 02-19-2009, 04:26 AM
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way to go!!!!!!!!!!!!I believe you are onto something very powerful, life changing and good! keep paying attention!!
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Old 02-19-2009, 05:14 AM
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I think I can sum it up.


Sometimes you gotta stop and smell the roses, lol. Right?
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Old 02-19-2009, 05:27 AM
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Originally Posted by escape artist View Post
way to go!!!!!!!!!!!!I believe you are onto something very powerful, life changing and good! keep paying attention!!
Thanks EA......I'm feeling really really good about it, like now I can actually look at those 12 steps and know what HP means to me, and now the 12 steps make more sense.



For the purposes of full disclosure, F&F forum meet my husband:

Originally Posted by Strangef8 View Post
Sometimes you gotta stop and smell the roses, lol. Right?
Yeah, but there's more than that....and as clear as it all was in my head when I wrote the post, I'm having a hard time trying to explain it now, lol.

I wasn't just not smelling the roses, I was trying to dictate where the roses were and what they smelled like....it's not my place to dictate any of that, life happens the way it happens, and the best way I can live is to accept that and look for the things that come my way that can help make my life better.

I've heard a lot of people, both in alanon and out, say things about how much their life improved when they turned it over to God or HP. For me that means surrendering to the fact that life happens the way it happens and I can't dictate it anymore (never really could, but I sure tried)....and if I give up trying to dictate it, then I'll be open to noticing and accepting all the blessings that have always been around me.

:ghug3
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Old 02-19-2009, 05:46 AM
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I think that I have looked at different parts of my life like that for most of my life. You know some of my sayings, "If you can't do anything about it at this moment, why worry about it?" and such. I do have other times where I like to control everything but I am done getting upset over those things. Like the chair for instance. I won't say anything more, just push it in when I see it. I can't change you, so why get upset?

Sorry for the personal note that anyone else won't know about but it's an example that Jaguar will know.

Anyways, HP should mean something different to everyone. There is truth to saying that can be taken sarcastically but I chose to take them literally, such as "Whatever gets you through" is a good one. A lot of people say it meaning "What-EVER", but I chose to see it as yea, whatever will get me through this is a tool that I am going to use.

I am so proud of Jaguar for trying to deal with her own issues at the same time that I am working on my addiction to alcohol. For her to be willing to let me work on this my own way while still giving me the support I need without trying to control it is a true testament to how wonderful she is.

Wow, I didn't mean for this to go on so long, lol.
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Old 02-19-2009, 05:54 AM
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That's great progress! I hope this helps you continue moving forward to a better life.
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Old 02-19-2009, 05:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Strangef8 View Post
Anyways, HP should mean something different to everyone. There is truth to saying that can be taken sarcastically but I chose to take them literally, such as "Whatever gets you through" is a good one. A lot of people say it meaning "What-EVER", but I chose to see it as yea, whatever will get me through this is a tool that I am going to use.
Exactly!!! I'm just glad I figured mine out, lol. The 12 steps make a lot more sense to me now that I've sorted out where all the HP stuff points to. I really was just itchin' to get into work so I could type it all down, that's how excited I was about it!

As for the rest of your post, I'm blushing ......thank you, I'm immensely proud of you too.
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Old 02-19-2009, 05:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Barbara52 View Post
That's great progress! I hope this helps you continue moving forward to a better life.
Thank you Barbara....I know it will!
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Old 02-19-2009, 11:45 AM
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I'm a big fan of analogies, and one finally came to me....

Life is a big conveyor belt, truckin' on by as time passes. I was so busy trying to line up everything on the conveyor belt so that the right things would arrive in my life at the right times that I completely missed all the wonderful stuff flying by on the belt! What I should have been doing, and what I intend to do from now on, is pay attention to what's coming by on the belt and decide what I want to incorporate into my life. No more trying to organize the conveyor belt, lol.
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Old 02-19-2009, 03:40 PM
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I am so glad you have figured this out in a way that works for you!!!

I have met so many people who get hung-up or offended by what they they can only perceive as the religiosity of the concept of a HP... often these people abandon AlAnon because of it - and I feel sad that they miss out on the bigger picture - on the concept - because they get so hung up on insisting that having an HP means bowing to some religious idea.

I was in so much pain when I got into AlAnon I just followed directions. And the first time I asked someone the typical questions about HP they answered me with a no BS: "Your HP can be anything- God, the North wind, your cat! Just get the concept - don't get hung up thinking of HP as a reflection on you!! It's just supposed to be the person/place/thing of letting go!!" So my HP was my cat for a while!!!

I followed directions. It worked.

peace & good on you!!
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Old 02-20-2009, 11:09 AM
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Originally Posted by Bernadette View Post
I have met so many people who get hung-up or offended by what they they can only perceive as the religiosity of the concept of a HP... often these people abandon AlAnon because of it - and I feel sad that they miss out on the bigger picture - on the concept - because they get so hung up on insisting that having an HP means bowing to some religious idea.
I wasn't exactly hung up on it, but really having it click yesterday make the steps make so much more sense now.

Originally Posted by Bernadette View Post
So my HP was my cat for a while!!!
LMAO, one of our cats certainly thinks she qualifies as a HP! The rest of us disagree.
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