AS and marital trouble
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 10
AS and marital trouble
Hi,
I'm new here. Looking for support to deal with my AS and enabler husband. We have bent over backwards to deal with him, two rehabs, a suicide attempt, a wrecked car, kicked out of college, all within ONE year. I am at my wits end, don't even feel comfortable in my own house. Looking for any advice.
Thanks, I have been lurking here for at least 2 months.
I'm new here. Looking for support to deal with my AS and enabler husband. We have bent over backwards to deal with him, two rehabs, a suicide attempt, a wrecked car, kicked out of college, all within ONE year. I am at my wits end, don't even feel comfortable in my own house. Looking for any advice.
Thanks, I have been lurking here for at least 2 months.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
Hiya Jennmac-
welcome!
Try reading the "stickies" at the top of the first page of this forum-- there are a bunch of really good ones under "Classic Reading."
As I'm sure you know the best thing you can do to possibly help your son is to stop the enabling - that's not easy to do but it can be done if you can accept that it is what will keep you from losing your mental health, and it may help him. Unfortunately as I'm sure you know - only when HE decides he wants to get well will anything change.
You didn't Cause it.
You can't Control it.
You can't Cure it.
Can you try AlAnon? It is for the friends and family of alcoholics - and they have so much great literature and I found the meetings essential to understanding the way things really are in relation to the alcoholics in my family.
There are many parents around here who have been in your shoes -- you're not alone-- stick around and keep posting!!
(((hugs)))
peace,
B
welcome!
Try reading the "stickies" at the top of the first page of this forum-- there are a bunch of really good ones under "Classic Reading."
As I'm sure you know the best thing you can do to possibly help your son is to stop the enabling - that's not easy to do but it can be done if you can accept that it is what will keep you from losing your mental health, and it may help him. Unfortunately as I'm sure you know - only when HE decides he wants to get well will anything change.
You didn't Cause it.
You can't Control it.
You can't Cure it.
Can you try AlAnon? It is for the friends and family of alcoholics - and they have so much great literature and I found the meetings essential to understanding the way things really are in relation to the alcoholics in my family.
There are many parents around here who have been in your shoes -- you're not alone-- stick around and keep posting!!
(((hugs)))
peace,
B
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Hi there Jennmac, and welcome to SoberRecovery 
I agree with Bernadette, becoming educated about this disease and how it works is the first step in knowing how to help your son, and helping your husband undersand.
Mike
I agree with Bernadette, becoming educated about this disease and how it works is the first step in knowing how to help your son, and helping your husband undersand.
Mike
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 10
Thanks for the welcome. I feel like I can learn a lot here. My son is also duel diagnosis with depression and alcoholism. I feel like my husband and my son's shrink are not taking a firm line with my son, and he is exploiting it fully. Not only did he get stoned on pot twice during rehab last fall, he has gone on a weekend bender a couple of times this year. I am taking the attitude that he cleans up by the summer or he is out. Need a lot of support right now. Thanks again.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Jennmac, I am a recovering alcoholic and also have had clinical depression most of my adult life.
Recovery is possible if your son wants it badly enough. Unfortunately if he is on any kind of medication for the depression and drinks, the meds aren't going to do any good.
I'm glad you found SR, and please keep posting! :ghug :ghug
Recovery is possible if your son wants it badly enough. Unfortunately if he is on any kind of medication for the depression and drinks, the meds aren't going to do any good.
I'm glad you found SR, and please keep posting! :ghug :ghug
I'm growing
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Right where I need to be
Posts: 601
His recovery is his own and he must want it for himself.
Addicts are master manipulators.
I would suggest you and your husband both start educating yourself about the disease as well as go to al-anon.
We have many parents of A's at my al-anon meetings. It is a great place to be with people who are going through what you are and can fully understand.
Welcome keep reading and Keep posting!!
Addicts are master manipulators.
I would suggest you and your husband both start educating yourself about the disease as well as go to al-anon.
We have many parents of A's at my al-anon meetings. It is a great place to be with people who are going through what you are and can fully understand.
Welcome keep reading and Keep posting!!
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