tallulah

I have been hearing the phrase ‘co-dependent’ used on the forum and in a meeting I have attended. Do you think co-dependency is a given in the loved one or friend of an alcoholic?

The reason why I ask is my A has asked me.. ‘Do you think you are co-dependent?’

I’ve done some reading on the net and seen lists of traits or behaviours etc. I can honestly say, no I don’t think I am. I suspect that every human being has some of the traits or behaviours attributed to co-dependency but at a very low level and certainly not to the extent described in some reading material I have seen.

I suspect the A in my life (who has never used that phrase to me before) is doing this as part of his 'demonisation' of me as we have split.. but.. Is there something I’m missing?

JenT1968

I don't think there are any absolutes when it comes to human beings.

There's an article somewhere regarding healthy interdependence and how if you get carried away with it all relationships can begin to look co-dependent (I'll see if I can dig up a link).

I only know that I have loads of co-dependent behaviours, a lot of which got worse when living with AH, but many of which predated him. There are some though which I don't have at all.

Would be interested to hear what others think.

tallulah

Thank you Ceridwen, a link would be really helpful.

Yes it would be interesting to hear what others think. I'm still reading on the subject and it would be good to hear some further opinions.