Leaving my mom today

Old 02-16-2009, 11:39 AM
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Leaving my mom today

I am 16, and later today my brother and I are finally leaving our mom. I've realized that she isn't going to stop drinking. We have always lived with her, and my dad has 3 other kids, but we're going to go live with him. It's going to be hard, and I'm scared. I feel like if I leave, she will only drink more. But this is our last resort, I guess.

Thanks for listening.
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Old 02-16-2009, 11:46 AM
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{hugs} I am glad you have the chance to go to your father. I hope your lives can begin improving. Your mother has made her choices and will live with the consequences. There is no way of knowing how her life will go forward. But you can work to make your better.
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Old 02-16-2009, 12:13 PM
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hi xox

thank you for sharing... it will be hard but it will be for the best. although it is hard lesson, you cannot control how much she will drink. you were never able to control it.

remember you did not cause this problem, cannot control or cure it.
by leaving her it is possible she will start reflecting on her own problems and seek help. i hope it turns out that way.

you are very young and your job is to study, get closer to your brother and dad, have fun with your friends.. you are not responsible for an adult's choices and you are doing very well, taking care of yourself.

we are here for you
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Old 02-16-2009, 12:16 PM
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good luck xoxjordan--
keep reaching out for help around you- AlAteen can open the door to a lifetime of healthy thinking and give you tools as you move forward to help you cope with your mom's alcoholism-- keep posting - I hope you find some peace of mind very soon!
peace,
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Old 02-16-2009, 01:23 PM
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{big hug} I finally got away from my mother's drinking and drugging last year. I'm 39. I wish I'd done it much, much sooner.

Good luck.
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Old 02-16-2009, 05:21 PM
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Originally Posted by xoxjordyn View Post
I am 16, and later today my brother and I are finally leaving our mom. I've realized that she isn't going to stop drinking. We have always lived with her, and my dad has 3 other kids, but we're going to go live with him. It's going to be hard, and I'm scared. I feel like if I leave, she will only drink more. But this is our last resort, I guess.

Thanks for listening.
I hope it all works out and your father is healthy so you can take a break from having to be the caretaker instead of being the one that is cared for, as it should have been.

What part are you scared of?

I see that you feel that your mom may drink more if you leave.I also see concern, normal as you love your mom. SHe may very well drink more, and things could get even worse for her. The point being honey, you aren't responsible for her choices and it is not your responsibility to be her caretaker. SHe should have been yours. Nothing she chooses will be you fault. If that happens it will because she choose to drink more, not because you chose to leave. I have the feeling you know this, but sometimes we just need to here it.

The next thing is you shouldn't have even had to engage thoughts of "last resort." There is zero , and I mean zero responsibility for you to carry a burden!!!!!!!! Don't carry this burden and don't worry that she may drink more when your gone. You can't control it by worrying. She is the only one who can control it. You made a right and good decision. If she does that it is her actions, not yours. You making a healthy choice for you and your sibling was a good action.

:ghug3 And here is a big hug from a mom of 3 teenage boys and a 20 year old daughter. I also raised my niece most of her years. Her mom, my sister, was a heroin addict. Them adults where you are going to live are just as scared as you and probably a bit excited to have you too.
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Old 02-16-2009, 07:38 PM
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xoxjordyn,

I know this will be hard but I think you and your brother will be happier. Soon you will be able to have your OWN place, so it's not for very long. Sending you hugs and strength to get through this transition.........you deserve the best, girl.

GL
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Old 02-16-2009, 09:14 PM
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It is not your job to save your mom. She will drink whether you're there or not.
You deserve to have a peaceful home life w/o all the chaos. It is too painful to have
a row seat to her addiction.

Hoping your mom chooses to get better.
In the meantime all the best to you. Try to keep a positive attitude as you blend into
your dad's home. Focus on the positive and don't expect things to be perfect. Make the most of the opportunity
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