Frustrated and Tired of it

Old 02-15-2009, 07:39 PM
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Frustrated and Tired of it

I am a 16 year old daughter of an alcoholic mother. I've know shes been one for about 3 years now, but recently I just can't take it anymore. She's always forgetful, and I worry she forget to come and pick me and my brother up from school, though when she does I know she has been drinking all day anyway. She also forgets to schedule doctors appointments which I need. I'm always embarrassed by her, especially when she comes into school to look for me at the end of the day.

She accepts she is an alcoholic, but I don't think it has really clicked, and she just doesn't think she needs the help to quit. And when she goes out and about she just laughs with friends as if nothing is wrong. She honestly looks like she is just skin and bones, and I always worry she is not getting enough nutrition into her.

The worse thing is, is that my little brother doesn't realize it can put him at risk for following her footsteps, and always jokes about how he is going to drink and stuff as soon as possible and be a party boy. I love him to pieces and I don't want to see him go down the same road.

I'm just sick and tired of the whole thing and wish I wasn't in this situation. I also can't get to Alteen meetings or anything, but I do have support from some people at school, but on vacations I still need to be able to vent to people. So that's it for my little vent.
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Old 02-15-2009, 07:47 PM
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I am so sorry for your pain, hon. It truly concerns me that she is driving around intoxicated with you and your little brother in the car.

Is the reason that you can't get to Alateen because of transportation, or because your mother won't let you go?

I'm sending you some gentle hugs on the Kansas winds. :ghug
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Old 02-15-2009, 07:53 PM
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The reason is both, but more of the transportation. There aren't any meetings within walking distance, but when I accidentally let slip that my friend at school (who is a daughter of an AF) was thinking of starting an alateen at school, my mom got mad and told me she didn't want everyone to know she is an A, although everyone already does.
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Old 02-15-2009, 07:57 PM
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I'm so sorry. I was afraid it was because of your mother.

I wish you could get to Alateen because you need support for yourself. That is a heavy burden to be carrying. Please keep posting here if nothing else and know that I care. :ghug
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Old 02-15-2009, 07:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Freedom1990 View Post
Please keep posting here if nothing else and know that I care. :ghug
That goes for me too. (((serpent)))
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Old 02-15-2009, 08:00 PM
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Thanks for caring. As I said in my first post I do have some support, my best friend, who was the one who wanted the group, and my choir teacher, who I can literally vent about anything to, and he will listen. I will def try to post here though
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Old 02-15-2009, 08:45 PM
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I feel for you so much. My Mom went through this and it was tough. You know what, though? She turned out to be an incredible, responsible woman, and I think you will too. If it ever gets to be too much, you do have the right not to ride with a drunk in the car. That's abuse. Do you have any relatives that are sober that you take this too who might be up for helping you organize an intervention?
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Old 02-16-2009, 06:40 AM
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hi serpent--
i grew up with an alcoholic father - the shame and embarrassment were just the worst. I often wonder too if there had been more support- less denial- if AlAteen was available maybe my 3 brothers wouldn't have become alcoholics too...I'll never know.

Naturally your mom would oppose an AlAteen group! But really, it's none of her business! You need that meeting for your own mental health. She's obviously not helping in that department so why shouldn't you take steps to protect yourself and learn about what it is you're REALLY dealing with? Even if you and your friend can't start a local meeting you can get some of AlAteen's literature - it could be very helpful to you.

Welcome to Al-Anon and Alateen

It is NOT your responsibility to hide the truth about your mother for her benefit - she is what she is - if she doesn't want people to know she's an active alcoholic than she could choose sobriety and recovery. That's her choice and her problem, not yours. To get help and educated about alcoholism is your choice and your right.

glad you're here! stick around-- and stay safe--
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Old 02-16-2009, 01:00 PM
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welcome serpent -

hate so much that you are growing up in a home affected by this disease. Please, please keep reaching out for help - with your healthy friends, here at SR and if you do ever get a chance to go to an Alateen meeting.

Also, please remember it's NOT your fault.
You didn't cause it
You can't control it
You can't cure it.

Absolutely nothing you do has anything to do with your Mom's drinking!!!

Please take good care of YOU!!

HUGS, (hope, unity, gratitude and serenity)
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