Going through the motions...

Old 02-13-2009, 10:28 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Northern KY
Posts: 168
Going through the motions...

Yep, I'm just going through the motions now, it all feels so fake. That's how it feels to me now. It's almost like I see how he's acting through the false persona he puts up. I see what his "friends" see and I can see the person he's really become underneath. Truly sad.

We went out for a valentine's dinner tonight(us and the 2 kids) and I was really looking forward to getting to eat seafood. Soon as AH showed up from work to get ready I felt that old knot in my stomach, soon as he walked in the door he had the beer in hand. He drank on the way down, and while we were there...I drove of course. I could tell he was getting to the point of drinking a bit to much, he made some comments about our waitress, griping about bad service rather loudly. I had to fix the problem by waving her down and taking care of the situation. The griping was easier for him to do and I got tired of hearing it, plus he said he was going to make a scene since was getting so angry. Left a bit later, he slept on the way home and fell asleep in his chair again.

I'm not going to say that it doesn't still hurt me that he does this stupid stuff, I just can't change how he's going to behave. I think my saving grace is that I know it isn't going to stay this way. He drinks to cover his hurt, hide his emotions and to have an excuse to act like a jerk. I've chosen to not drink and deal with the crap that life throws at you, yeah it stinks for a little while but in the end it's not nearly as bad. Though I may wish for him to choose a similiar path it's his choice to make and it's obvious he's not making it.
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Old 02-13-2009, 10:51 PM
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get it, give it, grow in it
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
Your V'Day meal doesn't sound fun, romantic or even pleasant.

The kids and you probably would have had a better time w/o him along.

You cope well.
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Old 02-14-2009, 05:26 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Winder, Ga
Posts: 14
Wow I know how you feel!! I can't count how many meals my AH ruined because of his drinking and attitude.
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Old 02-14-2009, 11:44 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2009
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I've had many dinners resembling yours and when I would suggest that he may have had to too much to drink either during the meal or days later, he would insist that it was the bad service/loud music/something I said/the traffic that made him act that way.

I have come to realize that that either the acohol makes him act like a jerk or he's actually a jerk all on his own. Neither makes for a good dinner companion.

My ABF wondered why I didn't want to go out for Valentine's Day. (I said I'd rather order pizza in). I'd rather not have other diners feel sorry for me.
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