I feel like I'm nuts sometimes.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Santa Rosa, California
Posts: 6
I feel like I'm nuts sometimes.
The last three days my sons dad has been staying with us so he could spend time with our son. He does that normally on his days off so this wasn't anything out of the usual.
But something happened this morning and he left, and now I feel like I'm the one with the problem.
He tends to bring over his playstation to pass the time when the baby is sleeping. Well this morning he was feeding the baby in the dining room with the baby in his high chair (old, antique with no buckles or anything to hold him in...), when he got "distracted" by the game my brother was playing on the play station. He left the baby and went in the other room to see the game. All the while, I'm in the kitchen making something to eat. I didn't even know what was going on. But I go in there and find our 8 month old climbing out of the chair backwards about to take a dive onto the hard wood floor, covered in the cereal he had been feeding him. I was so mad. I went in there and asked him if he had forgotten about the baby or something....He said that he was going to go back, he was only gone for 3 or 4 minutes. AHHHHHHH! I said that in a few seconds he could climb out of his chair and break his neck, and all he said was he wasn't gone that long! I think I slammed the door on him, I can't remember. But after that he packed up his play station and his stuff and started to leave with out even saying g'bye. He just started to walk out the door. I stopped him and said that he could at least say g'bye to our son...He looked at me like I was from mars or something. And then started to tell me how I was over reacting and that I didn't even give him a chance to say anything about the whole thing. I told him that I just felt like whenever he had that game around his priorities change and he doesn't want to have any responsablitly when the "game" is going. Basically, he said it just wasn't that big of a deal, I was mad and didn't want to hear what he had to say. I would have just been happy with "sorry!" but he didn't even say that...Not even when he walked out the door without even a glance back. So, I find myself crying. And then I get mad cause instead of being sad and feeling bad I should be justifiably upset about his leaving the baby unattended. He makes me feel like I am so stupid sometimes. He walks around like a beat puppy walking on eggshells anytime I get mad or upset or sad about anything. I feel like I'm not supposed to be human or something. And it all makes me feel like I'm going nuts.
Just needed to blow some steam I guess....
But something happened this morning and he left, and now I feel like I'm the one with the problem.
He tends to bring over his playstation to pass the time when the baby is sleeping. Well this morning he was feeding the baby in the dining room with the baby in his high chair (old, antique with no buckles or anything to hold him in...), when he got "distracted" by the game my brother was playing on the play station. He left the baby and went in the other room to see the game. All the while, I'm in the kitchen making something to eat. I didn't even know what was going on. But I go in there and find our 8 month old climbing out of the chair backwards about to take a dive onto the hard wood floor, covered in the cereal he had been feeding him. I was so mad. I went in there and asked him if he had forgotten about the baby or something....He said that he was going to go back, he was only gone for 3 or 4 minutes. AHHHHHHH! I said that in a few seconds he could climb out of his chair and break his neck, and all he said was he wasn't gone that long! I think I slammed the door on him, I can't remember. But after that he packed up his play station and his stuff and started to leave with out even saying g'bye. He just started to walk out the door. I stopped him and said that he could at least say g'bye to our son...He looked at me like I was from mars or something. And then started to tell me how I was over reacting and that I didn't even give him a chance to say anything about the whole thing. I told him that I just felt like whenever he had that game around his priorities change and he doesn't want to have any responsablitly when the "game" is going. Basically, he said it just wasn't that big of a deal, I was mad and didn't want to hear what he had to say. I would have just been happy with "sorry!" but he didn't even say that...Not even when he walked out the door without even a glance back. So, I find myself crying. And then I get mad cause instead of being sad and feeling bad I should be justifiably upset about his leaving the baby unattended. He makes me feel like I am so stupid sometimes. He walks around like a beat puppy walking on eggshells anytime I get mad or upset or sad about anything. I feel like I'm not supposed to be human or something. And it all makes me feel like I'm going nuts.
Just needed to blow some steam I guess....
Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: That's what I'd like to know.
Posts: 2,416
Hello celestek.
It's infuriating. I know. I can't even count the rages I have flown into. The anger accumulates until you just blow your stack. I'm not saying that this was not a big deal... it was. Leaving a baby unattended can be a recipe for disaster. But the raging is probably not the best way to get your point across. Even when you're right, it seems the quickest way to have what you're saying dismissed as irrational is to give a good screaming red faced imitation of an irrational person.
Count to ten. Practice what you're going to say, and if it starts to come out in a growl, count to ten again. Repeat until you sound like you would imagine Mother Therese sounding if she was going to deliver the same message. Calm but firm. Then if you're still boiling you can get yourself a punching bag and paint "him" on it and beat the crap out of it. Or come here and scream. But screaming at him is not getting through and that just feeds your anger and makes you scream which makes him not listen which makes you madder and makes you scream and.... like that.
Hugs!
Smoke
It's infuriating. I know. I can't even count the rages I have flown into. The anger accumulates until you just blow your stack. I'm not saying that this was not a big deal... it was. Leaving a baby unattended can be a recipe for disaster. But the raging is probably not the best way to get your point across. Even when you're right, it seems the quickest way to have what you're saying dismissed as irrational is to give a good screaming red faced imitation of an irrational person.
Count to ten. Practice what you're going to say, and if it starts to come out in a growl, count to ten again. Repeat until you sound like you would imagine Mother Therese sounding if she was going to deliver the same message. Calm but firm. Then if you're still boiling you can get yourself a punching bag and paint "him" on it and beat the crap out of it. Or come here and scream. But screaming at him is not getting through and that just feeds your anger and makes you scream which makes him not listen which makes you madder and makes you scream and.... like that.
Hugs!
Smoke
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
Boy those babies are quick...and silent when they want to be!
I like Smoke's point and the fact is that nothing DID happen. Thank goodness! I turned my back on my 2 mo old son once and he rolled off his changing table. He had NEVER rolled over before!
Hugs,
JT
I like Smoke's point and the fact is that nothing DID happen. Thank goodness! I turned my back on my 2 mo old son once and he rolled off his changing table. He had NEVER rolled over before!
Hugs,
JT
Member
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: between the lakes
Posts: 60
Kinda sounds like a guy thing to me. Doesn't make any sense to a mom that a new dad doesn't just KNOW the things that can happen to an unattended baby, but really most of them don't. Perhaps it was a lot of "what ifs" that made him act like such a jerk.
No matter what foolish and rotten things they do sometimes, please don't ever make the mistake of thinking you love your son more than he does. He may well be kicking himself tonight over the close call he had. The one time my husband had a near miss with our daughter on a bike he had nightmares about it for weeks. It is, to this day, the one bad dream that always wakes him up in a cold sweat.
One more thing? They make a terry cloth bib-like thing that will hook around the back of the high chair and strap the baby in. In the interest of antique high chairs, you might want to locate one.
No matter what foolish and rotten things they do sometimes, please don't ever make the mistake of thinking you love your son more than he does. He may well be kicking himself tonight over the close call he had. The one time my husband had a near miss with our daughter on a bike he had nightmares about it for weeks. It is, to this day, the one bad dream that always wakes him up in a cold sweat.
One more thing? They make a terry cloth bib-like thing that will hook around the back of the high chair and strap the baby in. In the interest of antique high chairs, you might want to locate one.
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