When it's time to go, you'll know it
Rediscovering myself
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 231
When it's time to go, you'll know it
People would say I'd know when I was ready to go and I would wonder very impatiently "HOW?!? WHEN!?!"
Some of you may have found some serenity. It's a peace, a quiet of the mind for me. It's an ability to relax, breath... fear and anger are no where in sight. I still lose my serenity on occasion, but I've begun to notice when that happens and move away from the things that have loured me away from my peace.
In the past week or so... I have found a serenity at the thought of leaving my husband. I know it's time to make that move. I hate the idea of being divorced, but I hate the idea of living with him more. I'm at peace with that too. He's still going to ruffle my feathers and I'm sure I'll wonder off my path on occasion. But, I love my serenity and I'll find my way back to it.
Some of you may have found some serenity. It's a peace, a quiet of the mind for me. It's an ability to relax, breath... fear and anger are no where in sight. I still lose my serenity on occasion, but I've begun to notice when that happens and move away from the things that have loured me away from my peace.
In the past week or so... I have found a serenity at the thought of leaving my husband. I know it's time to make that move. I hate the idea of being divorced, but I hate the idea of living with him more. I'm at peace with that too. He's still going to ruffle my feathers and I'm sure I'll wonder off my path on occasion. But, I love my serenity and I'll find my way back to it.
I'm growing
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Right where I need to be
Posts: 601
I know for me...I daydreamed about leaving for months....planning it in my head....and then we (AH, myself and the kids) had 2 bad episodes w/i about 2 weeks. I was definately planning to leave after the 1st one......but after the 2nd It was imediate.
It is peaceful to not have a front row seat to the disease anymore. I love that I am starting to remember who I am/was again.
and know that you can leave for a day or a week, you can seperate or divorce....what ever is the right fit for you at the time
It is peaceful to not have a front row seat to the disease anymore. I love that I am starting to remember who I am/was again.
and know that you can leave for a day or a week, you can seperate or divorce....what ever is the right fit for you at the time
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
I told my best friend last night that I will be leaving my ABF. I've told her in the past, and she has always been supportive but skeptical. I don't blame her. How many times do we say in desperation "I can't do this anymore," and how many times do we just keep on suffering along.
This time when I told her, she was oddly quiet. When I asked what she was thinking, she said there was something in my tone that caught her by surprise. She said I sounded peaceful but determined. She wasn't sure if those were the right words, but that was what came to her mind.
I've said I'm going to leave in sorrow, anger, longing, and desperation, but I've never said it with a peace of mind before. It's as though I have accepted what I am supposed to do, and I now I just have to do it.
This time when I told her, she was oddly quiet. When I asked what she was thinking, she said there was something in my tone that caught her by surprise. She said I sounded peaceful but determined. She wasn't sure if those were the right words, but that was what came to her mind.
I've said I'm going to leave in sorrow, anger, longing, and desperation, but I've never said it with a peace of mind before. It's as though I have accepted what I am supposed to do, and I now I just have to do it.
"Taking the risk to blossom"
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: a little piece of heaven! Ontario Canada
Posts: 245
Just like Daisy, I have daydreamed for months and months about what life will be like once I do not have to live with this disease. Some of it scares me but I have reached "my bottom". It is moving very slowly and that's ok -- I am finished losing all of my todays worrying about tomorrow. A good friend of mine said to me that "you will just know". I wanted to know when, how -- she couldn't say anymore than "you will just know"
She was right
She was right
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 64
I am still with my AH, but I often daydream about life without him. The problem I have is getting HIM to leave - it's my house. I think about selling the house and getting a nice condo for my son and I, and think about how nice and peaceful life will be. I even go to realtor.com and "window shop."
I find it so amazing reading the threads here how similar so many of our stories are. Even though I wish no one had to go through the hell I go through, it is comforting to know that you are not alone and your situation is not unique.
I find it so amazing reading the threads here how similar so many of our stories are. Even though I wish no one had to go through the hell I go through, it is comforting to know that you are not alone and your situation is not unique.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Taiwan (expat)
Posts: 52
I left my XABF when I received an overseas job offer. I took the offer straight away, and didn't once think of him. It was time to go, and that was it. Previously, I'd thought about leaving only when things were bad. When things were good, I'd think we were "together forever". I look back on that now and shudder. Things were never good! It was all a house of cards!
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