punker1974

Hello! My father is a compelte alcholic and has been his whole life! He has a abused more drugs then anyone i have ever met! However, alchohal is by far the worst. No matter what he will not quit, it is as tough it has become part of his idendity and cannot be taken away, he needs in somehow. About 5 years ago he was staying with me, and again i made it clear that thier was to be NO drinking while under my roof, well he screwed that up and got completly wasted and as always makes it my fault as i dont spend enough time with him. I finally made it clear that he was to leave my house in one week if not sober, as he has shown up drunk to all of his AA meetings. Well I went out one night with my roommate and when we came home I came to discover that he has destroyed the ENTIRE house Tipped over the fridge and smashed al the food everywheere, destroyed my roomates big screena and ruined his computers etc..I have never seen anything like it ever!! I have refused to speak to him ever again! It has been five years and it has alwasy haunted me, its hard to watch the man whos lap you sat in till 12 years old destroy himself, We have tried everything for over 25 years and he has never stopped drinking. Any ideas of what to do? I feel terrible everyday, however I am fully aware that it is not my fault and I cannot watch this man kill himself, however it kills me that he is this way. Most people want to be proud of thier fathers, im disgusted, yet I almost cry when I see him as no one else in my family ever cared for me the way he did. Its a hard thing to watch..... any ideas?

Barbara52

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Unfortunately, if he is not interested in helping himself, there truly is nothing anyone can do.

What you might want to try is AlAnon or ACOA, read everything you can about being a child of an alcoholic and how it has affected you and learn how to detach from his problems.

Astro

Hi punker, welcome to SR. My father is an active alcoholic, although he still functions highly and pretty well. I've been in recovery for a few years, so it's easy for me to see the character defects, but I still admire him for everything he's done for me in life, I'm proud to call him my father and I'll always love him. That's something I've learned in AA, Al-Anon, and CoDA. Love, compassion, and tolerance.

Have you tried Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meetings, or even Families Anonymous? Families Anonymous, Twelve Step program and self help support groups. It's important to keep the focus on ourselves and our well-being, rather than taking on the destruction that's happening around us. Please keep reaching out for help and support. You'll find plenty of it here on SR.