Epidemic of Happiness
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 444
Epidemic of Happiness
So as not to hijack some other threads -- I wanted to add to the epidemic of happiness that is spreading through this forum. I have been divorced from my AH for about a month; and separated a for about a year before that. I never, ever, thought my life could be this good! I was dreading the winter time because I have always suffered the "blues" during January & February. This year, something is different. I feel joy and thank God every day when I get up. I look forward to going to work; and also look forward to coming home. My dd and I have a great life with our cat and our new puppy! My son is doing awesome in college and has a wonderful new girlfriend in his life. I started working with a coach and am training for a marathon (and fund-raising for cancer -- if anyone is interested in sponsoring me; send me a PM). I have made some great new friends and rekindled old friendships.
A year ago I never would have believed it possible. I knew I was miserable with my AH; but I expected to be only slightly less miserable on my own! That couldn't be further from the truth. How did I get here? By following the steps of all of you that walked this path before me; one day at a time. I've been working the steps in Alanon with my sponsor; I've been going to therapy; and I've been reading here and lots of self-help books! I hope this encourages anyone who was afraid like I was; life really is good on the other side!
A year ago I never would have believed it possible. I knew I was miserable with my AH; but I expected to be only slightly less miserable on my own! That couldn't be further from the truth. How did I get here? By following the steps of all of you that walked this path before me; one day at a time. I've been working the steps in Alanon with my sponsor; I've been going to therapy; and I've been reading here and lots of self-help books! I hope this encourages anyone who was afraid like I was; life really is good on the other side!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 646
I love the title to your post! I wish for all of us an "Epidemic of Happiness".
For me, I am 7 months divorced, separated on and off for 2 years before that. I had struggled tremendously untangling myself emotionally from the mess I had gotten myself and my children into.
Now, I am getting happier by the day. I am developing new friendships, I am being honest with my friends for the first time in my life. That is a really freeing thing to have the confidence to present myself as me, and to think "Take me as I am and if you don't it is nothing personal about me!" My 2 kids and I are developing a strong healthy bond and the chaos and drama from the crisis of the divorce has been replaced with kindness, thoughtfulness and fun.
We also have 2 new cats rescued a year apart and our new little rescued from a puppy mill, pug. I highly recommend a pet for their therapuetic benefits!!
Thanks for starting this thread.
For me, I am 7 months divorced, separated on and off for 2 years before that. I had struggled tremendously untangling myself emotionally from the mess I had gotten myself and my children into.
Now, I am getting happier by the day. I am developing new friendships, I am being honest with my friends for the first time in my life. That is a really freeing thing to have the confidence to present myself as me, and to think "Take me as I am and if you don't it is nothing personal about me!" My 2 kids and I are developing a strong healthy bond and the chaos and drama from the crisis of the divorce has been replaced with kindness, thoughtfulness and fun.
We also have 2 new cats rescued a year apart and our new little rescued from a puppy mill, pug. I highly recommend a pet for their therapuetic benefits!!
Thanks for starting this thread.
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Thank you for this thread! Its really inspiring. Its been 4 months since I left XABF.
I will count my blessings online:
I started being more responsible at work.
I got a side job that will give me extra $$. Just for me, planning to buy a keyboard and learn all Coldplay songs.
I started talking again to another ex. I missed him as a friend and we will get together (AS FRIENDS!) soon.
I am planning on getting some IT certifications.
I started tae bo and started training for the Austin Capitol 10K. The fun run! But will try to beat my own mark and I am thinking about how I will get dressed up :>
I have lost weight and will keep on losing.
I started eating healthier.
I encountered a dangerous situation and was able to get away from it.
I encountered a dangerous situation, fell 100%, and was able to forgive myself and look at the guy with compassion.
I will go to Keane's concert with a new friend.
I will go to Mex city and visit another spa with old friends. Really looking fwd to it!
People have told me I look much better and happier than when I was with XABF (???)
I went to the doc and everything is OK!! All the funny aches and pains are GONE.
I will go skydiving. Good exercise on "losing control"
I am taking theater lessons. There I have learned that I am Someone and I play a role too - I matter, and others SEE me. I have always felt 2nd class, without a voice, invisible and now I am preparing to be onstage...!
I learned other's beauty does not lessen my own beauty.
I am reconnecting with HP and doing yoga again.
I am retaking painting lessons and listening to the music I LIKE!!
I have a better relation with my father. We are starting to become friends. I thought that was impossible but guess what, I am already doing it (forgiving)
I cannot believe I had lost all that when I started with XABF. Oh no I was too busy living HIS life.
On Thursday its my birthday and I already booked a spa visit and will have dinner with friends. Wonderful people - none of them drinkers. I will visit a Japanese garden and there is a party on Saturday...
Life indeed goes on, and it is a blessing after you have been in hell!! you see it all with different eyes. I at least am way more grateful than I was before...
Cheers!
I will count my blessings online:
I started being more responsible at work.
I got a side job that will give me extra $$. Just for me, planning to buy a keyboard and learn all Coldplay songs.
I started talking again to another ex. I missed him as a friend and we will get together (AS FRIENDS!) soon.
I am planning on getting some IT certifications.
I started tae bo and started training for the Austin Capitol 10K. The fun run! But will try to beat my own mark and I am thinking about how I will get dressed up :>
I have lost weight and will keep on losing.
I started eating healthier.
I encountered a dangerous situation and was able to get away from it.
I encountered a dangerous situation, fell 100%, and was able to forgive myself and look at the guy with compassion.
I will go to Keane's concert with a new friend.
I will go to Mex city and visit another spa with old friends. Really looking fwd to it!
People have told me I look much better and happier than when I was with XABF (???)
I went to the doc and everything is OK!! All the funny aches and pains are GONE.
I will go skydiving. Good exercise on "losing control"
I am taking theater lessons. There I have learned that I am Someone and I play a role too - I matter, and others SEE me. I have always felt 2nd class, without a voice, invisible and now I am preparing to be onstage...!
I learned other's beauty does not lessen my own beauty.
I am reconnecting with HP and doing yoga again.
I am retaking painting lessons and listening to the music I LIKE!!
I have a better relation with my father. We are starting to become friends. I thought that was impossible but guess what, I am already doing it (forgiving)
I cannot believe I had lost all that when I started with XABF. Oh no I was too busy living HIS life.
On Thursday its my birthday and I already booked a spa visit and will have dinner with friends. Wonderful people - none of them drinkers. I will visit a Japanese garden and there is a party on Saturday...
Life indeed goes on, and it is a blessing after you have been in hell!! you see it all with different eyes. I at least am way more grateful than I was before...
Cheers!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
I love stories like this. It's proof that life can and will be better when we act in our own best interests!
Everytime I see someone saying something along the lines of "I have to support my A" or "I believe in their potential" or "life isn't as bad as it could be," I think to myself...
We all have only one life to live and we deserve the best life we can create for ourselves.
I could not throw away my one and only chance to have a good life waiting and hoping and praying that my AH would change.
Everytime I see someone saying something along the lines of "I have to support my A" or "I believe in their potential" or "life isn't as bad as it could be," I think to myself...
We all have only one life to live and we deserve the best life we can create for ourselves.
I could not throw away my one and only chance to have a good life waiting and hoping and praying that my AH would change.
Getting to my HAPPY PLACE!
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Virginia
Posts: 298
I cannot believe I had lost all that when I started with XABF. Oh no I was too busy living HIS life.
We all have only one life to live and we deserve the best life we can create for ourselves.
I could not throw away my one and only chance to have a good life waiting and hoping and praying that my AH would change.
I could not throw away my one and only chance to have a good life waiting and hoping and praying that my AH would change.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
People ask me why I have such a strange and dreamy signature line (from Mary Oliver)
I have it so I can remember, every day, what you've just posted nowinsituation.
No one could have convinced me, when I was teetering on the terrifying brink of stay-or-go, that life could be this joyful. NO one. Sitting up here it's like looking back down the path you just climbed up, and seeing that you came out of a dark, smelly pit seething with snapping alligators. Grateful with every cell in my body that the right combination of help, faith, and strength came at the right time, to let me pull myself out.
Blessings, everybody
:ghug
I have it so I can remember, every day, what you've just posted nowinsituation.
No one could have convinced me, when I was teetering on the terrifying brink of stay-or-go, that life could be this joyful. NO one. Sitting up here it's like looking back down the path you just climbed up, and seeing that you came out of a dark, smelly pit seething with snapping alligators. Grateful with every cell in my body that the right combination of help, faith, and strength came at the right time, to let me pull myself out.
Blessings, everybody
:ghug
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 225
Originally Posted by GiveLove 
No one could have convinced me, when I was teetering on the terrifying brink of stay-or-go, that life could be this joyful. NO one. Sitting up here it's like looking back down the path you just climbed up, and seeing that you came out of a dark, smelly pit seething with snapping alligators. Grateful with every cell in my body that the right combination of help, faith, and strength came at the right time, to let me pull myself out.
I'd just like to add, not to be too disgustingly positive or anything, that I think that I am almost grateful for having been in such a dark place. Because now I never take simply joy and peace for granted, which is awesome.
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
You are right good luck
Coincidentally I am listening a song that goes "everything looks better, everything tastes better..." and it really does. To cease reacting and start acting for the first time ever... its a rebirth, its regaining what has always been yours.. power! Its wonderful.
If I can say a healthy goodbye to someone that was so important in my life, and really let him go, I will be able to let go of anyone else in the future. Or I won't need to let them go, I will give them freedom from Day 1, and draw the love I need from myself, nature and my HP. Great lesson, Life, I just wished I was more intelligent to avoid so much pain. But I already feel free...
Coincidentally I am listening a song that goes "everything looks better, everything tastes better..." and it really does. To cease reacting and start acting for the first time ever... its a rebirth, its regaining what has always been yours.. power! Its wonderful.
If I can say a healthy goodbye to someone that was so important in my life, and really let him go, I will be able to let go of anyone else in the future. Or I won't need to let them go, I will give them freedom from Day 1, and draw the love I need from myself, nature and my HP. Great lesson, Life, I just wished I was more intelligent to avoid so much pain. But I already feel free...
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
To me too justtired, its like an inner struggle between the old ways and the new ones.
We WILL get there.. you'll see... but we need to work it :>!! cheers and good luck in your journey.
I just love people that are humble enough to recognize their shortcomings and swap them for something better, they are so rare. I find them here daily.
We WILL get there.. you'll see... but we need to work it :>!! cheers and good luck in your journey.
I just love people that are humble enough to recognize their shortcomings and swap them for something better, they are so rare. I find them here daily.
May it be
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: A new day. Today I just see bright colors, in the small world of my dreams.
Posts: 384
I like these inspiring posts
There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.
Vitality shows not only in the ability to persist, but in the ability to start over.
I take nothing for granted. I now have only good days or great days.
There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.
Vitality shows not only in the ability to persist, but in the ability to start over.
I take nothing for granted. I now have only good days or great days.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 633
Even the worst day I have now is better than pretty much ANY day living with an A. The good days are better than anything I could have imagined.
Occasionally I have nightmares where I am still with him and stuck dealing with some problem caused by him and when I wake up I realize "wow it's not real, it's just a bad dream" what a relief!
Occasionally I have nightmares where I am still with him and stuck dealing with some problem caused by him and when I wake up I realize "wow it's not real, it's just a bad dream" what a relief!
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