newdawnnewday

Just wondering if anyone had thoughts on what age is too young to talk to kids about alcoholism. For my entire life I have had alcoholism as an issue in my life: as a child with a grandfather who was an abusive alcoholic, my own father as a functional alcoholic, my oldest brother (sober close to 20 years), and now with an additional brother who is basically attempting to drink himself to death on a daily basis.

My entire focus right now is to ensure that I, myself, zone in on the problem by attending Al Anon weekly, not drinking myself, and that, looking ahead, I make changes for the next generation to ensure that they have an awareness of where they've come from. My oldest child is in 2nd grade. We include prayers for my brother as a part of our daily prayer life (currently we pray for his "illness"). Is it too early to tell her what this illness is and that I attend Al Anon and that I don't drink for a reason? Is she too young to be told the details of the disease?

Barbara52

If alcoholism is a problem in your child's life (and it doesn't sound as if it effects your child directly from what you said), I would find an age appropriate way to discuss it. If not, no. At age 6-7, talking about an illness in the uncle should be enough I think. As your child grows older, then it will become clear when and if your child needs more information. Your child is likely to ask when they want to know more in my experience.

coyote21

Hello, My little girl is in 2nd grade also. When she was 5yo I was awarded sole custody and her mom was given supervised visitation as a result of her unchecked alcoholism. She knows we were both drunks till she was 4.

I have always spoken truthfully to her about her moms condition, explained alcoholism to her and she has been attending Alanon meetings with me for almost 3 years (now that she is older she takes her "meeting bag" of stuff and sits in the hall and plays). But she knows why I go. She also knows about my own AA meetings/alcoholism......again total honesty. She goes to SS and church w/friends while I'm in AA Sunday morn...AA meets are a little less gentle/appropriate.

She "gets it", then again she has "lived it". Sadly she knows way more about alcoholism than a little kid should know, but I feel it would add insult to injury to be anything less than honest/open with her.

I think most ACoA's would agree that their parents trying to cover up when something was obviously really, really wrong in the home makes matters much worse.

Thanks and God bless us all, :praying
Coyote

j0hn0than1964

I agree these are tough questions for sure, but very important questions. I am an "A" with a very smart soon to be 11 year old daughter. She has been around me and my drinking in the past and was aware then and is aware now that I have been to treatment, and I go to AA for continued care I need. I have been sober about 100 days this week. There is has been great improvements in my family relationships that is for sure. I also know I will be faced with having conversations with her and help her understand she needs Al-Ateen and Al-Anon either way. He mother drinks still not to the point I did but daily for the most part with a cooler of beer around her most of the time, all of this is common place for the oldest daughter. I am not sure what the entire plan is yet, I do know she asks about my meetings and always wants to see where I go and who else is in my meetings and is not embarrassed about it which is good. This is something that I am worried about often, I plan to have a conversation with her about this weekend and start there, I am nervous about it because I know it has hurt her in the past, but better to get it out in the open and try to start understanding sooner than later is my hope.

JT

luvsmykids

Thank you all for your honest discussions. I need to speak with my children 8 and 6 about my aunt, their great aunt who has gone on to now become homeless due to her alcoholism. They are very close to her and i have been avoiding discussing anything with them but she is more and more frequently absent from family get togethers and i am not comfortable just saying she couldn't be there. I plan to attend my first al-anon meeting tomorrow but situations have come up today that confirm i really do need to discuss this with them. Btw, this was the ONLY page that came up when I googled "talking to kids about alcoholism" all the other searches were really how to talk to your kids about not using themelves so i am very greatful for this forum.

Pelican

Welcome to the Sober Recovery Family!

You will find lots of information and support here as well as at your local Alanon meetings.

Let us know if you have any specific questions or concerns.

I'm sorry about your aunt's progression in alcoholism.