He Stuck it to me!

Old 08-05-2003, 05:22 AM
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He Stuck it to me!

Hello ((((HUG)))))

Well he really stuck it to me yesterday. My sister, whom I had not seen in years had a layover at the airport pretty near where my ex lives.

I am not good at driving places where I don't know my way around and I tend to panic a little doing that.

Anyway, I called my ex because he wanted to meet someone from my family and this was an opportunity for him to do so.

I got to his house and all was great. We talked and had a nice time. Out of the blue he turned to MR. JEKL and he said he had something else to do later on and could not go to the airport with me.

He printed me out directions to it from his house. I felt so unwelcomed at that moment. I took the directions and quietly left, he followed me outside , I did not even look back I just got in my car and took off.

I tried following the directions and must have taken the wrong turn and got so lost for about 1.5.

I finally only knowing him in the area called him. I was so upset and in total panic. He tried given me directions over the phone to how to get back so I could go back home.

I asked him , why did you do this? you know how I am when it comes to driving around here in this big city. He did not say anything.

I told him that I was so mad at him, so disappointed I just hung up. I finally found the right directions and was driving back home in tears. I wanted to see my sis and I knew she would be looking for me .

I called a gf of mine, told her what happened and she told me to pull over and calm down.

Than she told me to turn around and I did. She guided me to the airport. I am so glad I went back because my sister was already there looking for me.

We only had an hour before she had to go back in instead of 2. Her flight was leaving earlier.

I don't know why he did this to me. I feel like an ass having to put myself through this.

His life has not changed girls, he is gotten worse. No job, bills up his butt, he has a speeding ticket he can't pay and they probably already have a warrant out for his arrest for it.................why does she live like this?

I lost my cool yesterday with him, I asked him do you have any interest in making our relationship a good one ? a healthy one knowing that we both love one another. Stop playing these games?

He said to me and I quote; No not that I can think of at the moment!

I am going to be fine. This was a set back for me because I put trust in him again after he told me he truly loves me.

Do I feel stupid that I did? No! because I love him and I am not ashamed of that.

So now it is morning, I am so exhausted and so tired but I am going to work. I do not want to talk to him , he had really put a number on me.

He looked so confused, so miserable. His room looked like a pig stall with all his stuff flying around every where. ............listen to me.......................................I hear myself tell this story and know in my heart that it was a mistake me going there.

I intend to stay away now. I truly had enough. I hit my rock buttom yesterday driving around blindly in this big city. I felt just awful doing this and so alone.

I live and learn girls.

I just can't believe that he could do such an awful thing.
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Old 08-05-2003, 05:51 AM
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Ann
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I believe it is Gabe who often says, he doesn't do it "to you", he just does it.

He is as he will be until he takes positive "action" toward recovery. Words won't pay the rent, words won't raise your child, words won't turn him back into the man you remember....only action and a lot of time may do that.

One thing you did learn from all this, is that even at your weakest moment and when you were feeling most vulnerable and lost, you did manage to look after yourself.

So pat yourself on the back and just be grateful for another lesson learned. Look ahead to the light and a wonderful future and let the past be just a sad memory.

Hugs
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Old 08-05-2003, 06:26 AM
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I am so sorry that you had to go through all of that. I can really relate to the driving experience, I hate driving! I especially hate driving to places that I am not sure about. I would have been panicking right along with you.
That was a horrible thing to have hapened, but if you take the time to look back then you will see all that you have learned from it. You know you can't count on him right now, and that you can handle any situation that comes your way. Try to think of this as an opportunity to grow stronger. I know that you will make it through this mess and be a stronger, better person in the end. You seem to be thinking level headed, so just keep that up and keep away from him.

Love you tons,
--Ă…ngel
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Old 08-05-2003, 06:35 AM
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Sometimes our best lessons are the ones learned the hard way.

I also hate driving in strange places and big cities.But I have found that I can do it.I often go to mapquest and another map site,and compare directions until I find what works best.It still makes for some nerve wracking moments,and I sometimes get lost.Yet it seems better to get lost,and find my way again on my own,than to depend on someone who proves to be unreliable.This is especially true if I have an emotional investment at stake.

Remember,we become stronger when we do the things we had believed we could not.

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Old 08-05-2003, 07:14 AM
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Hi PW.

Well, you learned two things yesterday. 1) he's absolutely useless and 2) you can maneuver yourself around the city if you put your mind to it.

It doesn't matter why he does these things. He does them. I'm glad you're planning to keep yourself out of the line of fire in the future.

Hugs,
Smoke
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Old 08-05-2003, 08:58 AM
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Thank you

For your input I really needed that.!

I feel totally ****** today. I feel sad and tired. I learned that I can't count on him and it really came as a shock almost, I don't even know why. I should have known.

I am not in a good place today. I feel sad and upset because of what happened. I am going to take myself today and go to the pool and just meditate and take some time for me for a couple of hours.

I know that he will call again and he will tell me he is sorry. I am sure he is because I am sure by now he feels like **** for what he did and so he should.

Sometimes I just for the life of me can't comprehend how he does the things he does.

I am still in my serenity allthough it was shaken up yesterday and still feels a little shaky today. I am not going to let this get me so down that I loose my serenity I worked so hard for.

Does he know what he is doing? His world is such a chaos and such a drama, it is suffercating.
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Old 08-06-2003, 09:28 AM
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We Are Somebody!

I woke up this morning and as I was getting ready for work I stopped and thought........I am somebody and I am so proud of me!

I realized how I have been treated, like a nobody. I realized what a great life I truly have with my serenity:-).

I prayed my favorite prayer.....

God I give you all that I am and all that I will be for your healing and direction.
Make new this day as I release all my worries and fears, knowing that you are by my side. Please help me to open myself to your love, to allow your love to heal my woiunds, and allow your love to flow through me and from me to those around me. May your will be done this day as always. Amen.

Lie is great and we are in control of our lives girls. I love you all.
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Old 08-06-2003, 12:16 PM
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PW -

Have you ever heard the phrase "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride"? We can wish all we want as hard as we want and as long as we want but those wishes generally don't come true except, maybe, in fairy tales.

You keep wishing that this man would become the man you want and need him to be and he keeps disappointing you over and over again. There is nothing you can do to change him. Spending time worrying about the way he lives and what he thinks and what he says and does is only causing you more pain and turmoil. You are in a vicious circle. You are allowing him to mistreat you, threaten you and generally drive you crazy. You need to stop that pattern now. As long as you continue to chase your tail you continue round and round in the same circle. You need to straighten your path and go forward in search of a better life for you and your son.

Sometimes we can't see the forest for the trees and I am afraid that you are lost in the woods. We are all leaving you bread crumbs to help you find your way out. Please give yourself a break. How about setting a boundary of no contact with him at all for a certain period of time. You don't contact him, you don't take calls from him. Give yourself some room to breathe. Try saying a prayer for him and ask your HP to take care of him. That is really all you can do for him.

Jo
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