Introducing Myself
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 64
Introducing Myself
I stumbled across this forum a couple of days ago and have been reading the threads when I decided to register.
Little about me: I am married to my alcholic husband for a year and a half, and not sure how much more I can take. I first realized he had a drinking problem a little over a year ago, and it hasn't gotten much better. He has admitted he has a problem, but I don't think he really believes it. I did find out that he has been drinking like this pretty much throughout our whole six year relationship, and I sometimes feel like a fool for not realizing it. I also feel that the whole thing is just based on lies. He goes to abuse counseling, but I think he even lies to the counselor. I keep finding empty vodka bottle and he ALWAYS tells me that it was from a long time ago. I even found one tonight, at the top garbage can when I took the garbage out.
Anyway, I could go on and on, but that will come. I just wanted to say hi and am looking forward to getting to know everyone and hope I can be helpful to others.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
Welcome!
I'm new myself. I made the decision to finally seek my own recovery from my ABF's (alcoholic boyfriend's) addiction and my codepency two weeks ago, though the "decision" was years in the making.
I have very similar feelings as you. We've been together for 10 years. I still can't believe I've held on this long.
I've heard all the promises and what I thought were heartfelt confessions over his drinking. Every time I would question just how much more I could take.
Now I know I'm done.
I have not found the support from friends and family that I have received here because they simply just do not understand what I have gone through as the bystander to my ABF's self-destruction.
The people here know those feelings, and they know in a way the defies any explanation I can give. Sometimes words just can't describe it all.
Others will be along to greet you and offer their stories and support.
Read all you can get your eyes on. Education is empowering.
Take what works for you and leave the rest.
and keep posting!!
Peace.
Alice
I'm new myself. I made the decision to finally seek my own recovery from my ABF's (alcoholic boyfriend's) addiction and my codepency two weeks ago, though the "decision" was years in the making.
I have very similar feelings as you. We've been together for 10 years. I still can't believe I've held on this long.
I've heard all the promises and what I thought were heartfelt confessions over his drinking. Every time I would question just how much more I could take.
Now I know I'm done.
I have not found the support from friends and family that I have received here because they simply just do not understand what I have gone through as the bystander to my ABF's self-destruction.
The people here know those feelings, and they know in a way the defies any explanation I can give. Sometimes words just can't describe it all.
Others will be along to greet you and offer their stories and support.
Read all you can get your eyes on. Education is empowering.
Take what works for you and leave the rest.
and keep posting!!
Peace.
Alice
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MO
Posts: 743
Welcome!!! You will learn more here than you ever thought imaginable. I'm so glad you joined us!
By the way.....we have "old" vodka bottles hiding at our house, too. You will be amazed at how many similarities we all have. That's the thing that kept me coming back. It was a godsend for me finding people who not only didn't think I was crazy, they affirmed that I am not. And neither are you.
By the way.....we have "old" vodka bottles hiding at our house, too. You will be amazed at how many similarities we all have. That's the thing that kept me coming back. It was a godsend for me finding people who not only didn't think I was crazy, they affirmed that I am not. And neither are you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 64
Thank you for the warm welcome! Reading through the threads it's amazing how so many stories have so many similarities.
Alice - I know what you mean about the "heartfelt confessions." I wonder how much of it was really sincere and how much of it was him just saying what I wanted to hear.
I also find that he has away of turning it around and placing the blame on me. I do know it's not my fault and I can't do anything to change his behavior, but he sure tries to lay the guilt on me. I must admit though that at times I do second guess myself.
Another factor is I have an almost 16 yr. old son. This situation certainly isn't any good for him either. I want to end the relationship but I'm not sure how at this point without feeling guilty. I do care about him and actually feel sorry for him at times (crazy, I know). I do know that we can't continue like this any more.
Thanks again for the welcome!
Alice - I know what you mean about the "heartfelt confessions." I wonder how much of it was really sincere and how much of it was him just saying what I wanted to hear.
I also find that he has away of turning it around and placing the blame on me. I do know it's not my fault and I can't do anything to change his behavior, but he sure tries to lay the guilt on me. I must admit though that at times I do second guess myself.
Another factor is I have an almost 16 yr. old son. This situation certainly isn't any good for him either. I want to end the relationship but I'm not sure how at this point without feeling guilty. I do care about him and actually feel sorry for him at times (crazy, I know). I do know that we can't continue like this any more.
Thanks again for the welcome!
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