For us women who might be feeling insecure about the other woman
Formerly known as soconfused11
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Colon, MI
Posts: 410
For us women who might be feeling insecure about the other woman
This is just something neat that I received in a e-mail. The original is really cool because it's shaped like a tree, but anyway, I really do like the message. (and even though it says girls, we know we are "women")
Girls are like
apples on trees. The best
ones are at the top of the tree.
The boys don't want to reach for
the good ones because they are afraid
of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they
just get the rotten apples from the ground
that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples
at the top think something is wrong with
them, when in reality, they're amazing.
They just have to wait for the right
boy to come along, the one
who's brave enough
to climb
all the way
to the top
of the tree.
Girls are like
apples on trees. The best
ones are at the top of the tree.
The boys don't want to reach for
the good ones because they are afraid
of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they
just get the rotten apples from the ground
that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples
at the top think something is wrong with
them, when in reality, they're amazing.
They just have to wait for the right
boy to come along, the one
who's brave enough
to climb
all the way
to the top
of the tree.
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 1,149
hmmmm..... I lik the fact that its shaped like a tree.
but, I don't like the message at all, on many many levels. JMHO
I'll try and explain why, but obviously take what you want and leave the rest, I am not good enough at talking on the internet to ensure this doesn't come across as an attack: It certainly isn't meant as one.
I am not an apple, good, or rotten, waiting to be picked: passive. nor am I a princess or a prize. I am a self-directing human being with thought and action and choices. don't need to categorise others as "less than" to shine in comparison.
I understand how horrible the pain of adultery can be, and how t can impact on our self-image and self-worth.
my last ex before AH was a cocaine addict who was unfaithful to me with MANY, MANY women. He was the most cunning manipulator I have ever come across. (<rolls eyes> boy, can I pick'em, LOL). I was spinning so much that I had no idea which way was up.
but....... I have never blamed any of the OW's: my thinking was that I had an understanding with him, He broke my trust, he lied (to me, AND them), they may not have known I existed, and those that did, believed his lies and fell for his manipulation (just like I did.........). The OW weren't rotten or easy, they were just other women (apart from one who was a "friend", who I cut straight out of my life). nah... the blame for the adultery lay squarely on his shoulders....
.... the responsibility for taking him back after I found out.....(would you credit it?)
well that was mine.
Of course, I didn't take time to work through WHY I spent four years of my life in such a soul-sucking relationship, so here I am now, ten years later married to an alcoholic.
I'm a slow learner.
hope this comes across in the spirit intended. much love. Lxx
but, I don't like the message at all, on many many levels. JMHO
I'll try and explain why, but obviously take what you want and leave the rest, I am not good enough at talking on the internet to ensure this doesn't come across as an attack: It certainly isn't meant as one.
I am not an apple, good, or rotten, waiting to be picked: passive. nor am I a princess or a prize. I am a self-directing human being with thought and action and choices. don't need to categorise others as "less than" to shine in comparison.
I understand how horrible the pain of adultery can be, and how t can impact on our self-image and self-worth.
my last ex before AH was a cocaine addict who was unfaithful to me with MANY, MANY women. He was the most cunning manipulator I have ever come across. (<rolls eyes> boy, can I pick'em, LOL). I was spinning so much that I had no idea which way was up.
but....... I have never blamed any of the OW's: my thinking was that I had an understanding with him, He broke my trust, he lied (to me, AND them), they may not have known I existed, and those that did, believed his lies and fell for his manipulation (just like I did.........). The OW weren't rotten or easy, they were just other women (apart from one who was a "friend", who I cut straight out of my life). nah... the blame for the adultery lay squarely on his shoulders....
.... the responsibility for taking him back after I found out.....(would you credit it?)
well that was mine.
Of course, I didn't take time to work through WHY I spent four years of my life in such a soul-sucking relationship, so here I am now, ten years later married to an alcoholic.
I'm a slow learner.
hope this comes across in the spirit intended. much love. Lxx
Formerly known as soconfused11
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Colon, MI
Posts: 410
I don't feel attacked. For me the message hit home with my situation. I love my xabf (in a very unhealthy way). I have become stronger, set some boundaries, made some better choices. He ran the other direction into the arms of a woman that will take him as he is RIGHT NOW (I was that woman 4 years ago). I kind of have to tell myself (to keep some sanity), that he couldn't have me, and that is why he went to a woman that is more convenient, that he can walk all over. I am no longer that woman. It's gonna take more than a little sweet talking for me to open up my heart again.
1 Corinthians 13:1-13 love
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: IL
Posts: 435
As a note of interest :
I have seen this before. The first time I read it it was through a man passing it on . His intention wasn't to compare, it was to express his behavior towards picking woman. He was admitting to his insecurities, but yet his need to want to be with someone.
This is one of those little writing that can be read from a number of perspectives when not knowing the authors mindset when writing it. Therefore, for the reader it can range from healthy to unhealthy views. I myself would be curious to the authors perspective when they wrote it and whether they had a healthy or unhealthy perspective!
love tam
I have seen this before. The first time I read it it was through a man passing it on . His intention wasn't to compare, it was to express his behavior towards picking woman. He was admitting to his insecurities, but yet his need to want to be with someone.
This is one of those little writing that can be read from a number of perspectives when not knowing the authors mindset when writing it. Therefore, for the reader it can range from healthy to unhealthy views. I myself would be curious to the authors perspective when they wrote it and whether they had a healthy or unhealthy perspective!
love tam
it's a movie, you're the star
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 355
i've seen this before, and at first glance, i thought it was beautiful.
i suppose i could easily take as an anti-new wave feminism piece that implies that all women are either ripe for the picking or rotten and easy. HOWEVER, despite that interpretation, it gives women who have been cheated on or misused the oppurtunity to get some validation and some hope that "there will be a man who wants to climb to the top and reach for her."
It's sweet for single girls who've been cheated on or just for gals who need the hope - and probably not so great for completely secure, stable, independent females. (IMO)
i suppose i could easily take as an anti-new wave feminism piece that implies that all women are either ripe for the picking or rotten and easy. HOWEVER, despite that interpretation, it gives women who have been cheated on or misused the oppurtunity to get some validation and some hope that "there will be a man who wants to climb to the top and reach for her."
It's sweet for single girls who've been cheated on or just for gals who need the hope - and probably not so great for completely secure, stable, independent females. (IMO)
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