He's moving out and I feel guilty
Awakening
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Beautiful Texas hillcountry
Posts: 1,272
Originally Posted by Ago 
it was intense but it wasn't love, it was some repeating nightmare that I seemed to be trapped in that I couldn't seem to get away from.
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Ontario
Posts: 85
Hi everyone,
Hey, we're all the same, aren't we!!
I just got rid of my ABF. The sad thing is he is almost 2 years in recovery and still things haven't changed. He doesn't drink but he also doesn't have a job, he borrows money from me and never pays it back (yeah, he could still talk me into that one!) and is generally irresponsible.
The thing that finally made up my mind is he borrowed money from me, gave me a check to cover it and said I could cash it the next day. Then next day it was "Please don't cash it yet". After nearly a month of quaking I deposited the check in the bank anyway and told him what I had done. He said nothing but two weeks later I got a letter from the bank - he had put a stop payment on the check. ARRRGH!!
Fortunately he still has an apartment. We actually broke up in the fall but he somehow came back over Christmas and never left. I had to pack up his stuff, put it in the car and tell him "You're leaving now!" (Twice)
I was really sad for two or three days and now I am feeling much more peaceful. I was terribly afraid of being alone which is silly because I was alone for 12 years and liked it. Now I talk to my cats (they are very polite and kind), have whatever I want for dinner, go to bed and get a good night's sleep. Everything is not my fault any more, although I still catch myself thinking "Better not do that or he'll get angry".
I also catch myself feeling sorry for him but he is an adult and it's not my job to "fix" him (as much as I would like to!!!)
I have an appointment with my counsellor tomorrow. Couldn't have done this without her. She has really helped me realize what is "normal" and what is "way out there" and what I don't have to put up with.
Spinner
Hey, we're all the same, aren't we!!
I just got rid of my ABF. The sad thing is he is almost 2 years in recovery and still things haven't changed. He doesn't drink but he also doesn't have a job, he borrows money from me and never pays it back (yeah, he could still talk me into that one!) and is generally irresponsible.
The thing that finally made up my mind is he borrowed money from me, gave me a check to cover it and said I could cash it the next day. Then next day it was "Please don't cash it yet". After nearly a month of quaking I deposited the check in the bank anyway and told him what I had done. He said nothing but two weeks later I got a letter from the bank - he had put a stop payment on the check. ARRRGH!!
Fortunately he still has an apartment. We actually broke up in the fall but he somehow came back over Christmas and never left. I had to pack up his stuff, put it in the car and tell him "You're leaving now!" (Twice)
I was really sad for two or three days and now I am feeling much more peaceful. I was terribly afraid of being alone which is silly because I was alone for 12 years and liked it. Now I talk to my cats (they are very polite and kind), have whatever I want for dinner, go to bed and get a good night's sleep. Everything is not my fault any more, although I still catch myself thinking "Better not do that or he'll get angry".
I also catch myself feeling sorry for him but he is an adult and it's not my job to "fix" him (as much as I would like to!!!)
I have an appointment with my counsellor tomorrow. Couldn't have done this without her. She has really helped me realize what is "normal" and what is "way out there" and what I don't have to put up with.
Spinner
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